My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Well, wasn't I just simply moving up in the world, huh? Hey? Mmm?

One day you're breaking bread with a mob boss, then the next you're sharing candlelit conversation with a police commissioner. 

Out of context, I sounded like the biggest baddest hotshot playing both sides like a fiddle in an intense game of cat and mouse. Alas, in actuality, I'm but simply a simple man with the utter knack for always being at the wrong place at the wrong time, or perhaps, the other way around depending on the view on things.

Which begs the question - what's the view here now?

Peeking past the rims of my drink, as I held it close, sipping sips, all the while, this elderly man's wrinkly soft gaze stare down at me silently as if wanting nothing more than to just quietly relish the sight of me drinking my glass empty… which I promptly ended up doing shortly after.

Which begs the next question - 

"Are you just gonna sit there?" I asked, sneaking in a quick glance at the restroom door as I did. "Don't you have a lady with you too? Shouldn't keep her waiting."

"My wife, actually," He said, beaming affectionately. "Today marks thirty years going strong, and here's hoping for an even stronger thirty more." 

"Oh, well, that's… that's really lovely, congratulations," I did my best to smile with earnest. "I'd drink to that, but as you can see, yeah… and now that I know that, it just makes me wonder even more why you're with me here, and not with her there. Heard from a little birdie that ladies are scary when kept waiting."

"Don't you worry, she'll wait, and she'll wait with pleasure too, trust me. She's a saint when it comes to having patience, and besides, she knows I only need five minutes, after all." 

"Five minutes to do what?"

He readjusted from sitting lax, to sitting straight, a once slacked gaze suddenly turning sharp. "To have a good long look at the main reason why my star detective has been acting all funny recently." 

I also shifted in my seat, except that was more me just trying not to faceplant myself against the table… because if I watched my police dramas right, then I sense an interrogation ready to come barreling in on me like a freight train.

And unfortunately, I was tied down to the tracks.

"How old are you, actually?" He asked, squinting his eyes and tilting his head as if somehow that would help discern my age all the better. "You look young, like my son kind of young, hmm…"

"Twenty-four, if you really wanna know," I said, masking weariness beneath a heavy breath. "Not that that has anything to do with anything anyway." 

"Two years older then, alright," He nodded, a peculiar frown showing after the fact. "Forgive me if I come off as rude, but you really don't look the type of person that'll be involved with her type of person, if you catch my drift." 

"Looks can be deceiving."

"Apparently so," He tipped his head in agreement. "What's your name, son?"

It took a moment to pry my lips loose to give him an answer, mostly because I didn't really wanna open up to a complete total stranger… but seeing as this here was Irene's boss, I figured I could at least indulge him a little more.

But before I could even say, he raised a hand outstretched and shook his head with a smile. "No, you know what - forget it. I don't want to know you, it'll just get me more involved… and I'm rippling dangerous waters already meddling in with one of my officers' private affairs." 

"Then get out of the water," I kindly suggested. "Don't wanna get bit by something swimming around, do you?"

"In a bit," He said, waving away. "I want to unravel this mystery before me first." 

"A mystery?" I scoffed, and it was a loud one too. "Because I'm having dinner with Irene?"

"Is it just a dinner?" He asked, raising a brow.

"Ah, well," I shrugged my shoulders. "I have the right to remain silent, don't I?" 

He gave a hearty chuckle at that, smacking the table hard in triumph. "So you are dating! I knew it, mystery solved." 

"And what of it?" 

"What of it?" He repeated again in a slow awe-struck whisper. "Here's a word of warning: if this piece of news breaks out to all the other officers in the precinct - you'll be finding yourself the next day with your car windshield smeared full of write-ups and probably also a warrant out for your immediate arrest." 

I knew he was joking there, but the way he said it made me think that he wouldn't be at all too surprised if what he predicted now would actually come to pass. 

"Let me explain," He went on to explain. "One half of the force is seriously terrified of her, and the other half are just plain ol' liars, and at the same time, both sides would have also wanted absolutely nothing more than to get it on with her, still do. It's also partly the reason why I had to get her her own office. You see, unbeknownst to you, you're dating the golden gal of the precinct." 

The golden gal of the precinct. What a title. Except, I somewhat had surmised this all already. I wasn't shocked, I wasn't surprised, which begs the next question -

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Just setting up the scene, I'm very verbose, see?" He told me simply. "Ah, I also remember when she was first starting out, good old days. People would actually intentionally commit crimes, vandalize, shoplift, just for the chance to get arrested by her.

"For interrogations, you send her in there, and not even ten minutes later, she'll have even the hardest, baddest, toughest, son of a bitch eating out the palm of her hand, half terrified, half aroused and full-on in love. To this day, I still don't know how she does what she does."

The way he talked about her, the little twinkle he had in his eye reminiscing, he looked so much like a proud, prideful father to his amazing daughter, except this daughter was technically old enough to be his own great-great-grandmother. 

"Well, she is rather pretty, in case you haven't noticed," I said.

"Son, I'm old, not blind, I know pretty, I married pretty," He replied, smiling amused. "But It still makes so little sense to me. It's like she has this… this certain effect on people. Sometimes I walk into her office, and I have to take a moment to catch myself because I just get all woozy and funny inside, it's seriously strange. Do you get what I mean?"

I nodded slowly. "I think I do."

"Like a succubus is what she is, really," He mused on, blind to my stare that went briefly rigid. "An aura about her that just makes you… makes you wanna go crazy. It took me a few good years before I managed to suppress that feeling, but then every now and again, I'd still find myself trying to catch my breath.

"Another thing, I keep telling her she should get on to it soon - beauty's only ever fleeting, after all. But she always refuses to take some time off for herself, no boyfriend, girlfriend… hell, not even a friend. I wasn't convinced that romance just wasn't her thing.

"Suddenly out of the blue, she's coming to the station less and less, working less and less… I assigned her personally to a case, she'd come to me in private afterward demanding for a shorter one… telling me she has somewhere to be, something else to do, and for the life of me, I just couldn't figure out what that something was.

He then scooted just an inch closer, his eyes staring just a slight sharper. 

"Then one day, she went and took her last sick day, claiming she's unwell - something in all my time working with her, has never happened once - and suddenly the next I knew, I see her all dressed and pampered on this very table, fixing her makeup in the glass for the umpteenth time, doing her darndest getting it all just right, all for this… this something of hers." 

Fascination, wonder, confusion, his eyes turned to every shade on the emotional spectrum gawking at me silently. This twenty-something year old, this scrawny-looking guy with a slightly crooked tie, I think he was sensing that from me, seeing more than that. 

"So I guess, I'm only just left wondering to myself about how you did it," He said, confusion shifting to curiosity. "How did you do it? I'm looking at you, you seem unfazed, how did you manage to resist that feeling she gives you? That feeling of… wanting her. How did you manage to not give in?" 

There was more to this guy than meets the eye. Like a keen canine, it's as if he could almost sniff it, that every distinct scent of something being off, something not making sense.

Clearly, none of this was adding it up in his head… and he couldn't be blamed for thinking it either, especially not after the look I had on my face, that faint almost self-aware smile I showed, and that short quiet chuckle I gave, as I quietly spoke, "Who says I didn't, officer?"

"You're… different, you know that?" He pointed out, no ill-will intended. "Like Irene is. Just speculating, maybe that's why she's here with you, I don't know, maybe you're just both the same t."

"Or maybe they're the ones that are different here," I told him. "Maybe you are, Chief."

"Commissioner."

"Whatever."

I had a feeling that if he had things his way, we'd be sitting here all night, with him pressing on and on for all the hows, whys, and whats, and Irene would, unfortunately, have to get accustomed to lying in a porcelain bed for the night. 

Luckily things would not elevate to that extent… for the saint's patience was finally wearing thin. 

His five minutes were up, and slowly, he lifted himself from Irene's seat…

"I was right, you are a bonafide mystery," He tutted his lips, expressing disappointment with a smile. "So many questions, so little answers…"

"And such is the life of a policeman," I said, staring up at him. "But that's why you have detectives, don't you? Why don't you have your golden gal take it over from here, hm?"

"Yes, I think I should do just that, actually," He said, drawing away, and bidding farewell with a nudge of the head. "You two have a very good evening, alright? Though I still expect her in tomorrow, the latest by afternoon, you hear?" 

I nodded firmly. "I'll be sure to tell her you told me that." 

"Hmm? Tell her what? Whatever could you be talking about, son?" He asked, with a real genuine air of confusion, before subtly, slyly, winking an eye. "I was never here for you to hear that in the first place...." 

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