My Demons

“Krruaa-“

On a brisk morning, I step out alone, stretching myself…

For some reason, my face feels warm.

The innkeeper, rolling beer barrels at the bar, the newly hired young waitresses, and the security soldiers sitting at a table near the entrance, all fix their gaze on me.

…Well, I did become somewhat of a celebrity.

I gained fame in the battle at the wharf and, having completed a nearly impossible mission, received a direct reward from the castle lord. It’s understandable.

My nickname is still the cringe-worthy ‘Blood-soaked Swordsman,’ but being famous isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Thinking so, I move towards an empty table.

“Oh, Luke?”

Somewhat tired, Luke is sitting at a table. I quickly take a seat across from him.

I still can’t view Luke’s character sheet. It’s strange, considering Ellen had one pop up as soon as we met.

Considering that Utequais doesn’t have one either, it doesn’t seem to be just a problem with Luke. What are the conditions to view someone’s character sheet?

“You look tired. Didn’t sleep well last night?”

“…Well, yes.”

“Could it be Utequ…. Hatanca did something-.”

The berserker, ‘Hatanca Utequais,’ is currently staying in the same room as Luke.

He arrived at the inn last morning, didn’t sleep a wink, and drank until the evening.

When I came down to the first floor, he was completely drunk and passed out.

Well, I understand, considering he’s lost all his close ones, whether they were comrades or family… but I do worry if he has caused any inconvenience to Luke.

However, Luke shakes his head with a bitter smile.

“No, it’s not that. He drank 40 beers. There’s no way he’s not passed out.”

“What, 40 beers? He drank that much?”

To give you an idea, a beer mug at Bells & Whistles Inn holds roughly 600 to 700 milliliters. He drank 40 of those?

So he drank nearly 24 to 28 liters- is that even possible for a human? …Well, considering Utequais’s size, it might be.

Just then, the innkeeper who brought Luke’s meal nods his head vigorously.

“It’s the first time I’ve seen someone pay with silver coins just for beer.”

“Ha ha-“

“What’s unbelievable is that he even gave an extra penny because it wasn’t enough. Drank like a whale.”

Luke nodded as if in agreement.

Ah- did I waste money?

The castle lord gave me 30 gold coins as a reward.

I didn’t expect to receive so much. I was supposed to get five coins as an advance and ten coins as the final payment, according to the contract.

This large sum must be due to the castle lord’s favor.

Of course, that favor isn’t purely good-hearted.

It clearly felt like a performance with Prince Ulkar in mind.

Wasn’t he trying to show that, ‘I have such an excellent warrior under me, and I treat him very well!’

Still, he didn’t offer long-term employment.

Even though I thought about refusing it if he’d tied me with a long-term contract, he didn’t even suggest it.

Anyway, 30 gold coins.

Equivalent to 150 silver coins, or 1,800 copper coins.

Obviously, it’s a substantial amount.

According to Luke, a rural landlord earns approximately 20 gold coins a year.

How wealthy must the castle lord be to part with such a sum?

Of course, I didn’t keep it all for myself. I divided it fairly among Ellen, Luke, Grania, and Arnal.

…Well, not ‘fairly’ in the strictest sense. I’m not a communist.

Everyone’s skills and contributions to the mission varied. How could I divide it exactly into five equal parts?

So, I gave six coins to Ellen, five each to Luke and Grania, and four to Arnal.

What about the remaining ten coins?

Naturally, I kept them for myself.

Initially, under Plan A, I had considered taking half. No matter how I think about it, it seemed like the rest of the four, when combined, would have a similar contribution to me. Really, I mean that objectively.

But I held back.

I didn’t want to appear too greedy, and someone might protest.

Of course, even under the more generous Plan B, Ellen expressed dissatisfaction. But since the other three agreed, she had no choice but to accept my distribution plan.

In the end, they would follow my lead anyway, so I placed an order at the workshop as soon as I got the money. I paid two gold coins as a down payment for shields and armor.

They said it wouldn’t be entirely new, so I’ll have to wait for a while… Ah, until then, I’ll have to make do with what I have.

After the distribution was settled, Grania and Arnal returned to the guard. It was unfortunate, but we couldn’t keep them as they were bound by a contract with the lord.

As for Randel and Ivo—I wanted to look after them, but it was awkward since they were under Prince Ulkar’s command. The prince will probably take care of them.

And then there’s Utequais.

He joined late but made a significant contribution at the end.

Especially defeating ‘Raid Chief Pageno’ and his henchmen easily, that was clearly Utequais’s doing.

On top of that, I set aside one gold coin from my share in hopes of forming a good relationship in the future…

“I hope he doesn’t spend all that money on alcohol.”

“Uh, I don’t know about that.”

Luke sighed deeply while stroking his stubbled face.

“It’s a regrettable path for those lost to alcohol. It’s even harder to break free once addicted.”

“I can’t let a recruited colleague turn into an alcoholic.”

“Life is a painful journey. The fleeting pleasure given by alcohol or women eventually turns into deprivation and suffering. If you don’t realize this, you’ll forever be groaning in pain.”

“That’s what Hatanca needs to realize too. But why are we suddenly talking about women? Is this directed at me?”

I asked while scratching my head.

“Um, the reason you’re tired now is…?”

“……”

“Do you really not know?”

“…No?”

“I thought the inn was collapsing.”

“……”

“People should know when to stop; even until dawn…”

Wait. Was that why people were looking at me with skepticism earlier?”

“…Ah.”

When I let out a sigh of shame, Luke shook his head and picked up his spoon.

******

Today’s date is May 24th.

It has been approximately three weeks since I found myself in this world.

Three weeks proved insufficient to metamorphose an average modern individual into a rugged medieval character.

I continued to exist in this realm, encountering unfamiliar and novel experiences daily, learning from them, all the while trembling.

During my time as Kim Seung-soo, I underwent numerous events that would have left lifelong scars.

I witnessed a merchant pierced by arrows, drawing his last breath before my eyes, a pirate writhing in agony with severed limbs, a frenzied battle, public executions with cheers echoing in the square, assaults by colossal calf-sized bugs and massive crocodiles… and above all, the most harrowing experience was undoubtedly murder.

Thud.

To tally my experience points, I unfurled the list I had meticulously compiled.

Pirate 7 x 15 = 105

Pirate 30? x 15 = 450

Iron Mask 11 x 50 = 550

Street Robber 7 x 15 = 105

Action Member 4 x 40 x 0.6 = 96

Poison 700 x 0.6 = 420

Looter 8 x 30 x 0.5? = 120

Tobald 500 x 0.5? = 250

It concludes with a chilling notation, acknowledging that I had taken the lives of over a hundred individuals, meticulously recording my acts of homicide.

Even after committing such atrocities, the audacity to consider myself a modern person incapable of adapting to the brutality of this world still lingered.

And, was murder truly a shocking experience?

That would be a falsehood.

I still clung to the hope that I remained a typical modern individual.

If I were to admit that I felt not shock but exhilaration and pleasure from committing murder…

I would be perceived as a psychopathic killer.

Indeed, this was unquestionably a side effect of the skill.

It’s the byproduct of ‘Thirst,’ a self-enhancement skill that boosts attack and accuracy, categorized as Rank 1 within the Blood Skill.

The reason my vision became tinged with red, and I developed an insatiable thirst for blood was attributed to the dormant desire within Phoenix’s blood that had been unleashed.

“Sigh.”

I hastily folded the paper, stowed it in my bag, donned my cloak, and retrieved the newly acquired round shield.

A soothing aroma emanated from the rawhide encasing the shield, calming my racing heart.

Once I had armed myself, I turned around; Ellen remained sprawled beneath her disheveled blanket.

“Hey, what are you doing? We need to depart.”

“…Not going.”

“What do you mean, ‘not going’? Are you joking?”

Goodness, what had gotten into her?

“We can’t afford to dawdle. We must proceed and secure a position.”

“Just go. I’m not going.”

“Why the sudden change? Are you feeling unwell?”

“Just don’t talk to me and leave.”

Ah, I felt like cursing.

The reason I was leaving the inn at this very moment was due to a letter from the informant.

According to the missive, as the sun set today, the informant within the city would mobilize with his associates.

The letter indicated they would welcome me with a green flag, potentially offering evidence.

Naturally, I wasn’t embarking on this venture alone.

I had handed the received letter to the captain of the guards. I had strongly advised against reporting it to anyone, including the lord of the castle.

By now, the captain likely had discreetly stationed around a hundred of his men throughout the city.

Considering that I had also alerted the training commander, who served as the commander of the fortress guards, we should not be lacking in manpower.

If everything goes as planned, we can easily defeat the fourth fixed enemy in this chapter, the “Unveiled Witch.”

Then the boss battle will naturally become easier, and we’ll naturally catch the kingpin, Ubar.

…In a situation like this, Ellen’s behavior naturally irritates me.

“Why are you suddenly acting like this? Are you ill?”

“Just go.”

“Hey, at least look at me when you speak. I can’t hear you well when you’re mumbling under the blanket.”

“Hey, Ellen.”

“Shut up!”

Snap!

She finally reacts… Huh?

“Were you crying?”

“No, I wasn’t.”

You definitely were; your eyelids are swollen.

Your eyes are also bloodshot, a sure sign. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve seen Ellen cry. How could I be confused?

“…What’s the matter?”

“Just go, don’t worry about it.”

Her tone is as icy as her gaze. She’s clearly angry.

Ellen’s face is full of life when she’s annoyed or whiny. Her eyes are big, and her expressions are diverse, so whether it’s negative or positive, her emotions are always clear.

She rarely smiles, but when she does, or even if she’s just peacefully asleep, she looks like an angel.

However, when she’s seriously angry, her delicate features harden like ice.

Normally, her expressions are so clear that when she becomes serious, she looks like a lifeless doll or a statue.

I hate seeing that.

I took a deep breath and took off my helmet.

“What exactly is bothering you?”

“How many times do I have to say it? Just go.”

“How can I ignore a comrade telling me to just go without any explanation? At least tell me why.”

Despite my questioning, Ellen kept her mouth shut.

…I actually have some idea.

As I said before, Ellen is terrible at hiding her feelings.

On top of that, I’m naturally perceptive. The thirty years I lived as Kim Seung-soo were those of a subordinate’s life.

“Is this about Daria?”

Even though she didn’t say anything, I could infer her answer by her gaze toward the ground and her clenched lips.

A heavy weight settled in my chest.

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