When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Just after I left Rose’s place, Little Spring sent me a telepathic message. ::Sister Lin! I forgot!”

::What did you forget?::

::There was something I wanted to give you.::

::It’s alright. We have both been too busy. Speaking of which, I convinced Pearlescent Rose to help us set up a battle of the bands event which will be even bigger than just a small concert.::

::That’s great! It will be the perfect distraction. Wait. Please don’t let me forget about your gift.”

This poor kid was so busy. Fuck, I was as well. ::Alright. I’ll try. Actually, how about I—::

“Junior Linlin,” Noxious Fangstrike interrupted my thoughts with his sound transmission. “I need to see you. Come and meet me by your band members. They’re still cultivating, by the way.”

They were still absorbing epiphany energy?!

I flew back towards the outdoor practice area. ::Looks like my poison teacher needs to see me for some reason so I’ll have to meet you another time.::

I was glad I couldn’t get attacked by his weaponized adorable face, or I may have cracked.

::Don’t worry. I won’t forget. It just might take me a while to remember. What is it, anyway?::

::That’s a surprise!::

As soon as I landed, I noticed that my band members really were still cultivating. But it seemed like the heavenly energy would finish up in the next few minutes. In fact, Dread Lotus had almost reached the peak of Foundation Establishment.

Noxious Fangstrike looked at her with a doting smile. Then he glanced down at me and scowled.

“What is it, senior?”

“Do you think it’s possible to have a cure ready in a week?”

I sighed. “I know you have faith in me now that you’ve seen what I can do. I am a once-in-a-billion-year genius, after all. But even I will need more than a week to develop a treatment. As I told you before.”

“This is important.”

“If I could do it, I would!”

He grimaced. “Thought so.”

He cleared his throat and handed me a pair of earring defensive tools that were at the Nascent Soul level. They almost looked like small red talismans on gold earrings.

“Are these for Dread Lotus?”

“They’re for you, you fool.”

How dare he call me that! “Then what about her?”

“She has enough defensive tools.”

Oh, right. As the princess of the sect, she would.

It seemed like Noxious Fangstrike was already preparing for the sect to get attacked by demonic cultivators. He just wasn’t mentioning anything because he couldn’t risk spies learning about his preparations.

I looked out at my adorable band members. They had no idea what was coming.

Once these three finished, I should make my own preparations. Which included a hologram recording of myself, some defensive tools, and healing pills. Lots of healing pills.

Seriously, fuck the demonic sect.

“I want you and Dread Lotus to enjoy the festival. This will be her first one in a long time, after all. But as soon as it ends, head back to the sect. Don’t delay.”

I nodded.

“I’ll be busy for the next week, so I can’t teach you anything else.”

“What’s going on?” Of course, I already knew.

But I was surprised that he wasn’t going to let a possible war ruin his niece’s holiday, since she could finally go out like a normal cultivator. It kind of made me respect him a bit.

“It’s probably nothing, but...” one of his alchemy disciples ran over and handed him a bag. He tossed her a spirit stone, and the girl ran off.

I could tell that he checked the contents before he nodded and passed the bag over to me. “I think you should spend your free time over the next week concocting healing pills. The sect will pay you for your work.”

Was he a fucking mind reader? No. We just had similar thought processes when it came to war preparations.

I looked over the ingredients. He had included everything I needed to mass produce a generic healing dan. Which made sense, since my speed was absolutely impressive.

“If I have any free time, I’ll work on these.”

He nodded, then paused. “Actually. Make sure you and Dread Lotus leave the festival before it’s finished. Long before.”

There it was. “Your niece will be fine.”

A vein bulged on his forehead. “Yes, I’m concerned with her well-being, but I’m worried about you! You’re the best chance our sect has of crawling out of our spiral of decline. Don’t you dare die before we develop a cure!”

Ah. Well, he wasn’t wrong. Also, the weather seemed to get a little warm. “I’ll be fine. You should know that I take my safety seriously.” I put on the earrings he gave me. “See?”

He nodded.

“By the way, we’re going to play during the festival’s battle of the bands. You’ll come watch us, right?”

He snorted. “You couldn’t keep me away if you tried.”

The heavenly energy pouring down on Dread Lotus, Gold String, and Azure finally let up. They slowly came out of their meditations.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

“I guess it’s time for me to take my leave. Remember to stay safe. If you die, I’ll kill you.”

Ha!

He approached Dread Lotus and said something.

She beamed at him. “Thank you, uncle!”

Then he said his goodbyes to everyone. I waved him off and turned to my band, who had all reached the pinnacle of Foundation Establishment.

“Congratulations on your epiphanies!”

“Thank you, band leader!” They said. Every one of them looked incredibly ecstatic. Sadly, I’d have to ruin that.

“Unfortunately, we don’t have time to celebrate!”

It was like I had just drained them of their excitement. Their shoulders slumped. Azure even put away the bottle of medicinal wine and glasses she’d apparently brought out while I wasn’t looking. “Fine, you can have a short break to celebrate, but once you get back, you’ll have to learn a few more songs. This time we’ll focus on offensive music, as well as formations that will allow us to go against mid-realm Gold Core cultivators and possibly fend off an attack or two from a Nascent Soul expert.”

Their eyes grew wide. Yeah, that was about what I expected.

“We may be weak by ourselves, but, together, we can beat someone in a higher realm.”

Gold String looked extremely focused now that I was finally holding up my end of our bargain.

“One more thing. We’re going to take part in the first annual Battle of the Bands that is being held at the festival this year. So, you’ll have to continue practicing all the rock songs I taught you so far.”

“Uh.” Dread Lotus raised her drumsticks. “Sister Linlin, what is a Battle of the Bands?”

I grinned. “Just a competition where every Foundation Establishment demonic musician in the sect will try to outperform our healing music. And they’ll fail... as long as you keep practicing.” muahahaha!

I taught them five war songs. Their effects ranged from confusion, like Stairway, to a full-on attack on the soul, like ‘Give Up’ a song that was heavily inspired by Linkin Park’s 'Given Up.'

Of course, after I explained their parts, I left them to practice by themselves because I had something very important to do. Something that forced me to travel outside the sect to the city because all the damn treasure pavilions refused to sell me the items I wanted at a decent price.

Fucking Little Teasing Mouse and her followers. They were like a cult.

I entered the smithy and ordered spiritual aluminum, crystal recording orbs, and several handfuls of illumination pearls. Apparently, I’d have to make glass and a fog machine myself.

Damn backwater continent.

While I waited with my hands clasped for the woman handling the order to come back, I felt something cold slam into my palm and curled my fingers around it. When I brought it out from behind me, I found a jade slip which I immediately placed inside my ring.

I scanned the area with my divine sense but noticed no one who appeared out of place. Whoever handed this to me was very good.

Seriously, who the fuck was trying to get my attention? Maybe I should have let Little Spring come with me for backup. No. It was still better that we looked like we didn’t know each other outside the sect. The last thing I wanted was City Lord Bountiful Tenacity to realize I had a connection to the kid. He could easily become a target in an effort to force my hand.

Now that I was thinking about him... this was probably from one of his spies.

The girl returned and placed the items I ordered on the desk. After paying for them, I swept them into my ring and pulled out the jade.

As I walked, I hid it beneath my sleeve and brought it to my temple as if I was brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes.

It demanded to know if I had stolen the scroll. And if I had, it told me to meet the city lord at the mansion immediately. If I hadn’t, I was supposed to record my progress on the slip and leave it nearby.

As if I would trust that asshole with a damn scroll that could kill thousands.

I wiped the rude demands from the jade and wrote a simple, ‘No,’ and left it inside a crack in a wall.

Let the fucker suffer from a lack of knowledge. Muahahaha!

Besides, there were too many things I had to do. Like a war to prepare for where there will be demonic cultivators, I’ll have to slaughter. I had no time to think about getting this asshole the information he wanted.

***

As soon as I returned to my immortal cave, I thought about meeting up with the brat to see that surprise he concocted. Of course, that was when Gold String sent me a secret sound transmission. “Sister Linlin! We need you! Hurry!”

Goddamn it. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. We weren’t being attacked by the demonic sect yet, right?

As soon as I arrived, I overheard a girl with bright green hair and a spiritual parrot of the same color on her shoulder yell at Dread Lotus. “It’s not fair!”

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The two men with crossed arms stood beside her and glared threateningly at my band members.

Dread Lotus clasped her hands behind her back, exactly like I preferred to. “Well, junior Brilliant Song Bird, if you wanted a practice area, you should have reserved one.”

The girl opened her mouth, speechless. “Nobody can afford that but you!”

She shrugged like it wasn’t her problem. Classic Dread Lotus.

I locked eyes with Gold String. ::I thought there was a problem? She’s handling everything just fine.::

He winced. ::They looked like they were about to start something. I thought you’d want to join in since we’re a band.::

I grinned. ::Well done.:: The band that fights together, stays together.

Song Bird’s face turned red as if she was going to pass out from anger. Then she seemed to notice our keyboardist and crossed her arms. “Ah! if it isn’t Sister Azure Melodic River. I’m surprised to see you here.” She threw a strand of green hair over her shoulder. “The last time I saw you, you were begging me to play another duet with you.”

Azure paled. Her eyes briefly darted to Dread Lotus.

“I know! If you convince Senior Dread Lotus here to let us borrow your practice grounds for just a few days, I’ll gladly play with you again.” She winked.

Azure’s jaw firmed, and she took several steps forward. “I’m good. You made it very clear that you’re no longer interested in duets and I’ve moved on. This is my band now.”

“Oh, come on. How can you resist? Even just last month, I heard you talk about how you missed playing with me. You called my voice — what was it? Sweet and sensual?”

Wait... Oh! Damn. Brilliant Song Bird was Azure’s ex. And she was trying to use her lingering emotions to get our practice ground? Fuck that.

I finally landed my flying sword between Azure and the irritating bird-girl. “So, who do we have here bothering us?”

Dread Lotus glared at the three. “They’re Whispering Brook.”

The group Pearlescent Rose mentioned had a chance to beat us?

I chuckled. “Why should we give our practice grounds to our competition?”

“To make things fair,” one of the large men beside her said.

“When did we care about fairness in this sect?”

Everyone silently agreed with me. I assumed. Some of them did look at me like I was crazy but, really, who didn’t now and then?

“Fine, I didn’t want to resort to this, but if you don’t give us half of your practice grounds, I’ll let the whole sect know how terrible you are.”

I shrugged. “They already think I’m the worst.”

She paused for a second. “Well, some of them don’t.”

“Oh, wonderful...” I grinned. “Ha! Did you think I’d say that? If I cherished the good opinions of others, I’d have to care about their criticisms. And that’s too exhausting.”

“D-don’t you care about saving face?”

“Can you eat it?” I grinned. I’d always wanted to say that since it appeared so much in every damn Xianxia, I’d ever read. “Can it help you cultivate? Does it make you stronger? Since the answer is ‘no,’ why should I give a damn?”

She opened her mouth in shock, and the bird on her shoulder did the same with its beak. Then her expression hardened. “Oh, you’ll regret those words.”

She was definitely planning on spreading gossip.

“You know. I have the perfect song for you.” It was a ballad inspired by The Offspring’s 'You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid.'

I pulled out my guitar and started playing. The lyrics described a situation where someone spread rumors about an innocent person. A crowd believed them. Everything seemed like it was going to work out for the rumor spreader until they ended up getting their ass handed to them and they wound up dead.

It really was very much like this current bullshit.

By the time I finished playing, all three of Whispering Brook’s group members had faces that went from red to white.

“Brilliant Song Bird, let’s find another practice area,” the large man beside her said.

“F-fine.” She lifted her chin. “You made your point.” She flicked her sleeve behind her and stormed out with her followers.

I turned to Azure Melodic River. “What did you even see in her?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “What can I say? I was blinded by her beautiful voice. Though she’s not as good as Dread Lotus... or you.”

Really? I was the afterthought? The lead singer of our band? Whatever. Fangirls were going to stan.

“Well, I guess we have to beat her to show her that you’ve moved on?”

Her gaze grew determined. “Absolutely.”

Dread Lotus squeezed Azure’s shoulder and smiled viciously. “Let’s crush them.”

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