Vaudevillain

As the door hissed open, Cass tossed two of his booze grenades into the room ahead. The silver canisters clinked down onto the floor, attracting the attention of the various personnel working around the ship. With a soft bang, the cans exploded, sending a wave of alcohol wafting into the room. The aliens reflexively took a breath and ducked behind their consoles. Soon, bodies thudded to the floor as Cass's weapon took out their motor controls.

The team walked in as the smoke cleared, weapons at the ready. Not all of the Quli were taken out by the grenade blasts, and they rushed forward to grapple with the villains. Others had only inhaled a small amount of the mixture and worked on standing up to face the new foes.

Riptide fired his disintegrator at a charging Quli, missing as it dodged under the blast.

"Careful!" Sweet Dream yelled. "If you hit the consoles, we might not be able to control the ship."

"Aw, dude. I suck at hand to hand combat."

"Then leave it to your betters," said Dr. Zlo, locking down a charging Quli with adhesive.

"No way am I gonna let you do all the fighting," Riptide argued back. "Time to sink my teeth in something!" The villain pulled his board out of his inventory and surged forward with a kick of the gas. He rolled over an attacking alien, grabbing it by the shoulders and tugging. Riptide fell to the ground on top of the Quli as his momentum was yanked from him. His board flew off to the other side of the room, crashing into the sidewall. Luckily, it didn't break.

"You're not magnetized to your board, you blockhead." Sweet Dream yelled. She had transformed into her monstrous form and had pinned one of the aliens down with a chocolatey fist. With a grunt of effort, she pushed her hand into the Quli's closed mouth. Chocolate filled the alien's mouth, forcing the foe into a hallucinogenic haze.

"My bad," Riptide groaned. Jumping off the ground, the villain quickly pressed his disintegrator to the tackled Quli's chine and tapped the trigger. A quick beam ate through the alien's power armor, and Riptide released his hold. The Quli fell to the ground, rings of light appearing to take it away.

A baton of light struck Riptide in the shoulder, eating away at the man's forcefield armor. Riptide stumbled back, unprepared for the assault. The Quli raised its baton high, intent on bringing it down on the villain's head. Sweet Dream stepped in at the last second, chocolate arm slamming the Quli to the ground.

"Stay behind me!" she yelled.

Nodding, Riptide brought his gun up, ready to hit anything that crossed his friend's path.

Dr. Zlo finished up with another charging alien when he heard a shout. "You! How did you escape the prison?"

Twirling towards the noise, Dr. Zlo responded. "As I said, nothing can hold my genius! Escaping from your pitiful prison was a paltry exercise."

His questioner was the same alien who had ordered them into the prison. "You will pay! I'll admit, it was genius to stage a prison break and distract the captain. But I, Qurana, am still here to call for reinforcements!"

The alien brought their hand up to the communicator in their ear. Dr. Zlo flicked his eyes around the room, there were only three guards left, and two were still groggy from the booze bomb. But it wouldn't be possible to hold the control room with five people. Thinking quickly, Dr. Zlo did what he was best at. He talked.

"Coward!"

The cry paused Qurana's hand. "Excuse me?"

Dr. Zlo pointed his cane at the alien. "A true Quli warrior wouldn't call for help. They would fight man to man in single combat."

Qurana narrowed her eyes. "You dare challenge my honor?"

Dr. Zlo continued; it was working! "I challenge nothing. By calling for help, you have shown your hand."

The alien's hand lowered, reaching down for the baton strapped to their belt. "I will not have my honor sullied by some imbecile with hair on their face."

Dr. Zlo gasped in mock shock. "How dare you sir! I'll have you know the mustache is the finest of villain trappings. Without it, I would be some two-bit hack like the rest of the masses."

"Right here, dude!"

"Excluding present company." The villain brought his cane up in an amateurish swordsman's stance. "It seems we must fight to the death to defend our honor!"

Qurana activated their baton, smiling wickedly as blue arcs of electricity hummed along the edge. "I am going to enjoy breaking you."

She charged forward, faster than Dr. Zlo expected. The alien brought her baton down in an overhead chop, connected with Dr. Zlo's hastily raised cane. He fell back from the power in the blow. Qurana swung again; eyes lit with determined fury.

Dr. Zlo stumbled back, his amateurish attempts at blocking forcing him into a nearby console. Stuck, the villain fired his monocle in a desperate attempt to force Qurana off. The alien jumped back from the blast, landing on the balls of their feet. Breathing room acquired, Dr. Zlo aimed his cane and shot off quick bursts of adhesive gel. He hoped to lock the alien down and deal with them at range.

Qurana weaved through the shots, dodging with a grace unseen in other Quli. With the Gap closed once again, they swiped their baton in an uppercut that clipped Dr. Zlo on the chin. The villain's force shield absorbed the blow, but the strike jerked Dr. Zlo's hat off his head, spilling dark locks of hair over his eyes. Another attack followed, once again blocked by the shield. This time Dr. Zlo retaliated with a blast from his laser and a quick swing from his cane.

Qurana jumped again, a repeat of her earlier move. But this time, the villain was ready. Dr. Zlo snapped off a quick glob of adhesive at the alien's foot. But in the chaos of the fight, his cane switched over to the bounce gel instead. Qurana bounced off the ground, flipping through the air in a backflip and landing gracefully between two consoles.

"Dude, that alien is sick!" Riptide cheered.

"Not helping!" Dr. Zlo cried.

"Sorry, but those moves are so cool. I gotta learn how to fight like that."

"Learn to pay attention first," Sweet Dream grunted, taking out the last of the guards.

Dr. Zlo turned to shout at the two. Qurana saw the opening and jumped forward, using the bounce gel as a springboard. They landed in a somersault, popping up right in front of Dr. Zlo. Luckily, the villain noticed Qurana's jumped and dove to the side at the last second. The buzzing of electricity whipped by his ears, and he heard the sparking of a console.

"Careful with my new vehicle!" Dr. Zlo yelled.]

"Hold still then!" Qurana retorted. She lunged forward with her baton in a piercing strike.

Dr. Zlo backpedaled, bringing his hand up to his tie and adjusting it as he did. The hidden button underneath clicked, and the villain's hat whirred to life. It spun into the air on bladed wings and dove toward Qurana. The alien heard the strike coming and ducked. The bladed edge whizzed through the air and circled back for another attack.

At the same time, Dr. Zlo switched to the adhesive gel and pointed his cane. He fired quick bursts in an attempt to keep her occupied, fully expecting his hat drone to do the job. Qurana stepped around each blast of gel with calm footsteps and swiveled around the charging hat. As it circled back again, the alien struck out with their baton, sending the hat drone reeling into the wall. It crashed, bladed edge embedding itself into the hard metal.

"Weak!" yelled the alien, turning their full focus on Dr. Zlo. "Did you really think to challenge me with parlor tricks?"

Dr. Zlo fumed, "you dare call my inventions parlor tricks? Take this!" A concentrated burst of laser fire erupted from his monocle.

Qurana leaned to the side, evading the strike with ease. They strolled forward with easy confidence. "Weak."

Dr. Zlo fired again, and again. Each time Qurana leaned out of the way, dodging with minimal effort. "Pathetic, to think I was riled by one such as you."

They stepped in front of Dr. Zlo, grabbing the monocle from his eye and crushing it in their fist. "You're out of parlor tricks, now what?"

A chocolate fist wrapped Qurana's skull. Sweet Dream spoke, low and hard. "Now, you deal with me."

The alien struggled, hands reaching up to pull the villainess off them, but found those hands sinking into the gooey mass of Sweet Dream's transformation. Simultaneously, Sweet Dream was trying to force a bit of her chocolate inside, knowing that once she did, the battle would be over. Qurana kept struggling, bringing their baton up to strike. Arcs of electricity lanced across Sweet Dream's form, causing her to convulse.

It was a battle of wills, Sweet Dream holding on as electricity drained her health while Qurana struggled to keep the villainess's chocolate out of their mouth. But in the end, Sweet Dream's surprise attack prevailed. A tiny slip of chocolate landed on Qurana's tongue, and the alien stumbled. Sweet Dream released her hold, falling to her knees in relief. Qurana turned to look at Dr. Zlo.

"Cheater…" The alien fell to the ground with a crash, Sweet Dream's hallucinogenic chocolate finally sending the alien to dreamland.

Dr. Zlo stood, took a breath, and wiped his cane. "Well, I am a villain."

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