453 SHE WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN
“Why? Because you fuck Chaos?” Knox asked grimly, he looked at the distance with so much malice in his blue eyes.
“You are not serious, right?” Zuri squinted her eyes when she heard what he said. She knew that was not what he meant it, the words came from anger and grief, but still she couldn’t accept that.
Knox seemed to understand that he had said something inappropriate, as he rubbed his face roughly and then mumbled something along the line; I am sorry.
He knew that he had out of line for saying something like that to her and this was completely on him. He shouldn’t have vented out his frustration to someone else like this.
It was true with the saying that; hurt people, hurt people.
“Well, I accept your half ass apology, only if you tell me what is going on between you and July,” Zuri said lightly. She didn’t take it to heart. She had gone through so much to make that lame words provoked her.
“July will leave for Lucinda city three days from now,” Knox said. She wanted to leave immediately the last time they met, but there were a lot of things that she needed to arrange and prepare, it was not as easy as she thought to move across the country and entered Lucinda city without any preparation.
“What?” Zuri furrowed her brows, she looked at Knox with quizzical look on her hazel eyes, but she couldn’t find the right words to describe it. “Is it that bad? I meant, your fight.”
Knox scoffed and then chuckled, he looked like a mad man. “There is no fight... or as long as I am aware of.” That was not any fight, it was only July stormed out of the bedroom and told him to avoid her, to not see her again and that would be the last time of their conversation.
.....
“Are you really that idiot?” Zuri didn’t hold back with her words at all when she said that. “Of course, you know that she didn’t mean it, right?”
Even without seeing her, Zuri could see how much of pain that July felt because of her feeling for Knox. In a way, she could understand what she felt.
“Don’t tell me that you believe that...” Zuri glanced at him, just to check that he was still in his right mind to talk about this. “She wanted you to get jealous. I don’t know a lot about relationship, but she loved you unconditionally, I can vouch for that.”
Knox was not sure why he talked about this with this annoying girl, but he literally talked to her about what he felt and about his view points.
“There is no point for this to continue. We have different thing that we want for our life.” Knox started to reach out his pocket and then took out a cigarette and then lit it up. “It is better this way.”
Of course, he knew July loved him, he knew what she meant when she said those hurtful things, but there is no good thing that would happen between them if they were going back together.
It would be a circle that would never end.
Knox would feel this guilt for preventing her from getting what she wanted. He knew she loved him, but the guilt ate him alive when she could get anything in this life, but she stuck with him.
He missed the day when everything seemed so easy for both of them and how they spent their time without any worries at all.
Who would have thought they would stumble into this problem and couldn’t find their way out no matter what they did. They just couldn’t find a way to make things right again between them.
Knox didn’t want to see the regret and resentment in her eyes when everything was already to late for her to get whatever she wanted in life.
“I let her go not because I don’t want to be with her, I let her go because I love her, so much that it overcomes my own anger and jealousy.” Knox stared blankly at the distance, he didn’t put his focus on something significant and he talked more to himself, rather than to confide it to Zuri.
There was something wrong with tonight, because Zuri was the last person in his mind he wanted to talk to about this kind of matter.
No, actually, Knox wouldn’t talk about this problem to anyone, he would keep it with him and there was no one would know what he actually felt right now.
Yet, he talked about this whole ordeal to this girl.
It was so funny, if this was in another time, he would have laughed it out. It seemed, he was indeed Chaos’s shattered soul, because no matter how much Zuri annoyed him and how they were not getting along well, there was this strange comfort in her presence alone.
“You let her go because you love her?” Zuri repeated the words. “I don’t understand. If you love her, you don’t let her go.”
Zuri couldn’t grasp that understand about love from Knox, because she had different perspective about someone that she loved. How could you love someone, but you let them go? You needed to fight for them, right? You needed to make things right and be with them.
“Sometimes, something is too broken to fix and before it really breaks in your hands, you have to let it go.” Knox glanced at Zuri. “When you hold a glass too tight, the glass will break and the shard will hurt you. In the end, both hand and glass are broken.”
Zuri scoffed when she heard that. “Are you talking about me and Chaos?”
“Why would I? I have my own problem, I don’t need yours,” Knox retorted, yet the analogy could be used by Zuri too.
She didn’t realize it now, but she would realize it slowly that being with Chaos was hurting her, not immediately, but eventually.
“Don’t you want to see her?” Zuri asked. “Or will you be a gentleman and take her words just like that?”
Knox didn’t have an answer to reply to that question. He didn’t want to see July, not because what she said. He promised her nothing about it, but he didn’t want to be faltered and regret this decision. It took a lot of things happened between them to finally reach this point.
He couldn’t go back now, could he?
“Be a jerk.” Zuri patted his back. “Or else you will regret it.”
“Am I not jerk enough now?”
Zuri shrugged her shoulder. “Sometime, you are nice.” But then, she added. “Compare to Aaron, you are nice.”
Knox narrowed his eyes, why she should compare him with the devil... the bar must be so low for him to be nice in her eyes.
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Knox decided not to tell July about the thing with Flo, how dangerous that little girl was. The girl had gone. She had set her free and now July also would be gone, thus there was no point for him telling her about all of that.
She would free too tomorrow and she would live a normal life in the Lucinda city, where she would get a family that she wanted with Sebastian.
Knox had known Sebastian for so long, more than a decade and he knew that he would treat her right. He loved her, he could see it in his eyes how he loved her.
That was the same gaze that he had years ago, when this realm was not this chaotic, when everything looked easier...
“Knox,” Sebastian entered his bedroom without even knocking and Knox was so distraught to realize his presence.
Shit.
He wanted to be alone and Sebastian was the last person that he wanted to meet.
“No, don’t go!” Sebastian immediately stopped him, when his form started to fade. He was about to teleport himself somewhere in order to avoid him.
Knox had done it a few times during these two days, therefore, it was hard to find him.
But Sebastian knew, he would spend his time in this room. The room that brought so much memory about him and July.
“Are you really letting her go?” Sebastian asked when he was sure that Knox wouldn’t go anywhere. He would be so reluctant to talk with him, which was understandable, but he wanted to say what he needed to say. “If you let her go now. I want you to not go back in her life again.”
That sounded harsh and cruel, moreover, seeing how they had worked together for so long, that sounded so bold. They more looked like a brother once in the past, if one could say.
However, they became liked this now.
“If you really letting her go, I don’t want you to return to her life anymore.” Sebastian wouldn’t stand a chance if Knox attacked him for this bold demand, but he still said it. “I can only promise you one thing. I will treat her right.”
There was silence that ensued after those words, but then the quiet room filled with Knox’s chuckle. The way he looked at Sebastian was so cold, but he didn’t intend to kill him yet.
“How funny it is... both of you asked the same thing.” He remembered how July didn’t want to see him again. “Don’t worry. She will never see me again,” he said earnestly.
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*Read my new book: KISSED BY THE DARK ALPHA*
Alpha Micah Donovan’s second chance mate.
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