Chapter 286 (2): Sitting Opposite and Observing a Person
Chen Ping'an was unaware of the deeper considerations behind this, and he simply treated this as an ordinary conversation between two people where one was asking questions and one was answering. He nodded and accepted the cup of tea, drinking a small sip.
After experiencing the perilous calamity on Osmanthus Island, Chen Ping'an had come across that old boatman who had admired and loved Lady Gui for many hundreds of years. He was the first boatman for Osmanthus Island, and he was also Lu Chen's only servant before the former ascended from the world. He and Lu Chen had traveled across the seas and journeyed all around the world.
Back then, Chen Ping'an had experienced a strange dream where he had entered a book and finished reading it in a single night. Afterward, he had conversed with the old boatman in the small world that the latter had created with a single wave of his hand. In the end, the old boatman had surprisingly exclaimed, "Don't try to ruin my Great Dao!"
At the time, Chen Ping'an had been roughly comparing the notion of reason to the two ends of a ruler.
He felt like the old boatman's reasons had gone to an extreme. They appeared reasonable on the surface, yet they were in fact unreasonable.
This was because they weren't complete enough. They failed to adhere to the concept of "The Mean[1]" described in the books.
Meanwhile, the root of Daoism was described by the phrase, "The Dao follows nature[2]."
Thus, Chen Ping'an could vaguely recall someone telling him something when he had read the book in his dream. The principles of Confucianism never existed in lofty and unreachable places. It wasn't important how lofty these principles were, and it was only important whether these principles could be applied in real life.
That person had even smiled and said that the knowledge of the Paramount Sage of Confucianism was already profound and lofty to an unknown degree. Yet, after discussing Dao one time, he had sighed with emotion while having a private conversation with a disciple. In fact, there had even been a sense of shame in his voice. The Paramount Sage had said that a certain person's Dao was truly lofty, yet...
However, it was a pity that Chen Ping'an couldn't remember anything after this, not a single word. Perhaps that person or book hadn't said anything after that to begin with.
Chen Ping'an's question today naturally wasn't a form of discussing Dao. Chen Ping'an wasn't thinking so deeply.
Since starting to practice fist techniques, and after beginning to read books...
...Had Chen Ping'an truly never considered his own future before?
This was naturally not possible. He had a 60-year promise with Big Sister Immortal, and he now had a 10-year promise with Ning Yao.
After his two long journeys, even Chen Ping'an's initial belief of "my punch needs to be the quickest" had changed to "my punch can be quicker, but it must contain the most reason."
One of Chen Ping'an's most significant remarks had come in an inn during his trip back to the small town. At that time, perhaps even his audience hadn't paid much attention to his words. He had said to the little girl in pink and the little boy in azure, "You guys have to tell me if I do anything wrong."
From that point onward, Chen Ping'an was always questioning himself in a formless manner, regardless of how many punches the old man in the bamboo building launched onto his physical body and soul, and regardless of anything else.
However, this was a necessary step.
Pertaining to his mind's realm, or in other words, his intangible true conscience, Chen Ping'an had also uttered a remark that had already laid bare some critical secret. That was his remark to Ning Yao's parents in Stalactite Mountain.
Chen Ping'an's remark had reflected his continual self-questioning and self-disapproval.
I didn't do well enough.
Not doing well enough is the same as being wrong.
How many people in the world would hold themselves to such incredibly strict standards?
However, this mentality hadn't formed in a mysterious and unexplainable manner. Rather, starting from the moment that the young boy's bonded porcelain was shattered, then to all of the pains and hardships that he experienced, and then to all of his chance encounters and fated opportunities, Chen Ping'an had been forced to piece together his mind's realm in such a manner. This was an unintentional yet destined process.
If he succeeded, then it would be as if the sun and moon were shining bright in the same sky, a remarkable phenomenon that would steal luster from the stars.
If he failed, then he would likely break all of his promises and cause all kinds of disappointment.
A person would starve to death if they didn't eat. In the same vein, a person would also tend toward death if their mind completely dried up. It was just that they would be completely unaware of this. If they didn't die today, then they would die next year, and so on. It was as simple as that.
Fighting to stay alive, battling through perilous situations, rising with fury, and soaring upward with vigor.
Yet, silently begging for death, eating and drinking uncontrollably, failing to act in moderation, succumbing to the seven emotions and six desires, having wild thoughts, and all kinds of other detrimental habits — these were all the peculiarities of a person's mind.
The human mind was complicated; it was a profound existence that even sages didn't dare to claim that they could fully understand.
For example, why had Cui Chan lost in the small town[3]?
Following this path in his mind, the mind's realm of Chen Ping'an became extremely clear.
It was his mistake that had almost killed Liu Xianyang. Thus, so be it if he, Chen Ping'an, had been killed in the end. After expounding the reason that others weren't willing to listen to, so be it if he were killed once and for all.
Even when it came to the death of that feminine man in the dragon kiln, Chen Ping'an had simply refused to accept his box of makeup.
Yet, he still felt like he was wrong.
When a person truly started to recognize and understand the world around them...
After seeing lofty mountains that towered into the clouds, winding rivers that stretched endlessly into the distance, all kinds of profound and magnificent sights, and even the carefree nature of scholars...
After seeing the official residences and garb that symbolized the dignity of an empire, the impermanent nature of birth, aging, disease, and death, and the seemingly heroic yet realistically cold-blooded formations of heavy cavalry...
Very often, there would come some point in time when one would arrive at the sudden realization that they were actually so minute and insignificant.
This kind of feeling was most likely a very lonely one.
It was very difficult to empathize with grief, while the sharing of joy often disappeared in a flash. Life was filled with moments of farewell...
In reality, Chen Ping'an was filled with fear as he faced this world.
However, Liu Xianyang, Li Baoping, and Gu Can wouldn't feel like this. They wouldn't feel the same as Chen Ping'an.
Gu Can was intent on exacting revenge.
Li Baoping felt like there were always interesting things in the world to explore. She would always immerse herself in the colorful and spectacular world inside her mind. She almost never questioned herself, nor would she readily rebuke herself.
It was because of this that she had remarked, "How can there be a junior uncle who doesn't like Li Baoping?"
Meanwhile, Liu Xianyang would speak from the bottom of his heart when he stated that he wanted to see taller mountains and witness larger rivers, and that he definitely wouldn't die of old age in a small place like their hometown!
However, Chen Ping'an was different. He might do many things, such as accompanying Li Baoping and the others to Great Sui Nation, yet the projection of his mind's realm would go into hiding.
Generally speaking, Chen Ping'an's mind and thoughts would be "unmoving."
During the many years that he worked in the dragon kiln, the young boy always sought to stabilize his movements. In reality, he was stubbornly seeking to stabilize his mind.
If Chen Ping'an's mind wasn't stable, he would detest Song Jixin for being rich, he would become jealous of him having a companion to rely on and live with, and he would be envious that he could read.
This was why Ruan Qiong didn't view Chen Ping'an as someone walking the same path as him even if he weren't prejudiced against the young boy. This was the root cause behind why Ruan Qiong was unwilling to take Chen Ping'an as his disciple.
This was also the reason why Lu Tai felt like Chen Ping'an wasn't spirited enough.
Thus, when the sword spirit had seen the mind's realm of the young boy back then, what she had seen was a little child guarding two graves and a mountain. What she had seen was a pair of straw sandals on his feet.
His only "movement" had been his pursuit of some person's figure toward the south.
Indeed, that figure had actually been Ning Yao flying away on her sword.
And thus, compared to his deep apprehension and extreme caution when traveling to Great Sui Nation, Chen Ping'an had finally discovered a sense of independent will when deciding to deliver the sword to the young girl whom he loved.
It's my will to embark on this journey through the cultivation world.
I, Chen Ping'an, want to do something for myself.
As a result, even though he was envious of Old Dragon City's Fan Er, and another weight was added to his shoulders after he visited the Sword Qi Great Wall, Chen Ping'an's mind instead became lighter and more relaxed than before.
Thus, Chen Ping'an changed out of his straw sandals and pulled on a new robe. He wanted to become a sword immortal. He wanted to become a great sword immortal who could carve characters on the Sword Qi Great Wall.
From someone who only dared to buy five mountains and immediately loaned three out, from someone who wanted to give all of his possessions to Liu Xianyang who had left the small town, from someone who had given almost half of his high-grade snake gall pebbles to the little boy in azure and the little girl in pink during the New Year, and from someone who believed that he should hurriedly give all of his treasures away to those whom he cared about since he couldn't stop himself from losing them...
From all of this to the Chen Ping'an today, there had already been huge and monumental changes.
None of this had been easy.
Back then, why had the drunk old scholar furiously smacked Chen Ping'an's head and exclaimed that youths definitely needed to drink?
This was because the old scholar had immediately discovered the issue with the young boy's mind with a single glance.
Young people shouldn't have been like that. When extreme stillness begot movement, young people should shake off their burdens and enjoy the beautiful moments of their youth in a carefree manner.
When it came to such principles in the world, however, hearing them and understanding them was one matter, while acting upon them was another matter altogether.
The principles that came from books and from beyond the books were even more difficult to apply in a proper manner.
Chen Ping'an slowly drank the tea sip by sip. Just as Lu Tai was about to give an answer, Chen Ping'an suddenly opened his mouth and said, "I'm not familiar with you, and I even lent you money again and again because I was unwilling to interact with you. I was even more unwilling to enter the Ascending True Immortal Mystical Realm with you. In reality, the reason for all of this is very simple. It's because I'm afraid of death."
Back in his hometown, he had faced Cai Jinjian, Fu Nanhua, and the Mountain-moving Ape in succession. In Chen Ping'an's mind, he had essentially died once already.
In the Flood Dragon Trench, he had essentially died a second time.
The same mistake shouldn't be made three times.
Chen Ping'an slowly put down his empty teacup and continued with a smile, "It doesn't matter whether you believe me or not, but I've never been able to obtain valuable things that require an element of luck."
As if speaking to himself, Chen Ping'an mused, "I gave it some thought just then, and I feel like I might have been correct before. If I continue on like this now, however, then that will be incorrect. I need to slowly change myself if I want to walk further down the path of cultivation in the future."
There was a strange and slightly solemn expression on Lu Tai's face.
Just then, he had actually been using an untaught mind-observing secret technique from the Lu Clan to peep at the realm inside Chen Ping'an's mind.
Chen Ping'an lifted his teacup and asked, "Can I have another cup?"
"Do you think you're drinking wine?" Lu Tai replied with a huff.
However, he still poured another cup of tea for Chen Ping'an.
Chen Ping'an continued to reveal his thoughts, saying, "However, I feel like I wasn't wrong to turn down your offer to go to the Ascending True Immortal Mystical Realm together. If I went with you, perhaps I would have affected your fortune and made it such that you couldn't obtain any money or rare treasures. Now, however, you've made a huge fortune and I've also earned three grain rain coins. This is fairly good."
Lu Tai was no longer drinking tea anymore, and he placed his hands on his knees and chuckled, "You lent me two of the grain rain coins, so you actually only earned a single one."
Chen Ping'an hesitated for a moment before honestly replying, "I feel like I earned three."
Lu Tai didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.
Say, Chen Ping'an had never expected him to return the grain rain coins?
Chen Ping'an drank the tea that he definitely couldn't determine the quality of and said in a quiet voice, "One needs to leave some room. A missed opportunity is a missed opportunity. One can't hope to achieve perfection and earn the biggest bounty in all matters. Lu Tai, what do you think?"
Lu Tai was taken aback. However, he immediately chortled with laughter and exclaimed, "Chen Ping'an, you're actually hiding from that 'one[4]!'"
Chen Ping'an sipped some tea. He was very confused.
Lu Tai's laughter was suddenly replaced by fury, and he leaned forward slightly and snatched the teacup from Chen Ping'an's hand. He then casually flicked his sleeve and put away all of the tea utensils and tea set. He angrily stood up and shot a vicious glare at Chen Ping'an, shouting, "Observing Dao on the Ascending Sun Platform... Who's the one observing Dao? And who's the one becoming a noble in Parasol Leaf Continent? You know all of this already! What am I, a measly noble from Parasol Leaf Continent, worth?! What a huge loss!"
Lu Tai was fuming as he noisily made his way upstairs. The steps thudded loudly under his heavy footsteps.
Chen Ping'an scratched his head in utter confusion. He had no idea what was going on.
For a long time after this, Chen Ping'an's situation became quite pitiful. Lu Tai reverted back to dressing as a woman. Not only did he dress himself up in a beautiful and seductive manner, but he even acted coquettishly in front of Chen Ping'an on purpose. He would deliberately go down to the first floor to disgust Chen Ping'an every single day.
No matter how good-tempered Chen Ping'an was, he still couldn't stand Lu Tai's incessant orchid fingers and purposeful flirting. He couldn't stand the beautiful young man continually making eyes at him and speaking in a cutesy and mellow manner. And so, there eventually came one morning when Chen Ping'an threw a single punch and knocked Lu Tai into Emerald Lake while he was sitting on the corridor railings and humming a tune.
Lu Tai furiously leaped out from the water, completely drenched from head to toe. He forcefully suppressed his urge to summon Needle Tip and Wheat Awn, his two bonded flying swords, to stab Chen Ping'an to death. He ultimately managed to stop himself, yet he still couldn't resist hurling a torrent of abuse at the young boy. Was this any way to treat his semi-Dao mentor?! Did Chen Ping'an still have a conscience?!
However, Lu Tai was clearly lacking confidence when he mentioned the fact that he was Chen Ping'an's semi-Dao mentor. Even so, he was filled with confidence and vigor when he scolded Chen Ping'an as heartless and lacking conscience.
After this incident, Lu Tai no longer paid any attention to Chen Ping'an.
Time slowly flowed by.
It was dawn when the Treasure Swallowing Whale arrived at the ferry station located at Parasol Leaf Continent's Planchette Writing Sect, and Chen Ping'an walked up to the third floor to remind Lu Tai that it was time to disembark.
However, the third floor was already empty.
Chen Ping'an didn't think much about this. Lu Tai was truly a strange person.
Walking by himself, Chen Ping'an went from the Treasure Swallowing Whale under the sea to Parasol Leaf Continent on land.
Chen Ping'an stepped onto the ferry station and stomped his feet.
This was just like when he had gone from Clay Vase Alley to Fortune Street for the first time all those years ago — he had gone from a dirty mud path to a path paved from bluestone slabs. This was a very fresh experience.
Chen Ping'an felt like things were quite good without Lu Tai by his side. Of course, thinking like this was a bit unfair toward that beautiful young man.
Just as Chen Ping'an's light and carefree footsteps carried him forward, he saw a familiar figure near the bustling shops in the ferry station. Chen Ping'an instantly bared his teeth and grimaced.
Wearing an azure robe and a jade hairpin, Lu Tai was currently squatting by the street and nibbling on a meat bun. After seeing Chen Ping'an, he turned his head and glanced at the dog squatting beside him. The dog was also looking at Lu Tai with an eager expression.
Upon seeing this, Lu Tai tossed one of his meat buns to the dog squatting on the street beside him.
While doing this, he even raised an eyebrow at Chen Ping'an.
Chen Ping'an walked over, and Lu Tai continued to nibble on the meat bun that had thin skin and succulent fillings. He was bobbing his head back and forth in a very punchable manner.
Chen Ping'an bent down and stroked the dog's head. He then directly rewarded Lu Tai with a kick.
1. The concept of The Mean (中庸) roughly refers to the concept of balance, harmony, and equilibrium. It is a concept explored in the Doctrine of the Mean, one of the Four Books of classical Chinese philosophy and a central doctrine of Confucianism. ☜
2. This is a Daoist concept originating from Laozi's Dao De Jing. ☜
3. This most likely refers to his loss against Qi Jingchun. ☜
4. This refers to a one-in-10,000 chance (not literally) of something happening. ☜
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