Unintended Immortality

“Why is there a horse here?”

“Why is there also a Daoist priest?”

“Hey! And a cat too!”

“Just passing by and resting here, I guess?”

One of the villagers approached Song You and asked, “Sir, what are you doing here?”

Song You quickly stood up and moved the mat he was sitting on back in front of the statue to avoid disrupting anyone. Then, while observing the newcomers, he replied with a bow, “I was just passing by this road when I saw this temple, and I came in to rest for a while. I hope I haven't delayed or disturbed anyone?”

“Not at all,” the villager said kindly. “We are about to perform a ritual to worship the Frog God here. It will be quite noisy. If you want to rest, you might want to walk another two li to the temple of Duke of Thunder Zhou. It’s not too small and is generally quite peaceful there. You can rest there.”

“Temple of Duke of Thunder Zhou?”

“Yes, it's related to your own temple.”

He didn't leave immediately but asked politely, “I've heard that the Frog God is quite effective. Could you tell me more about this god?”

“This is a local god,” the villager said enthusiastically, explaining, “The Frog God can protect you from illness and disaster, ensure longevity, and bring prosperity and many children. If you like, you can stay and join us in the ritual. It will surely ease the fatigue in your legs and waist from a day of walking, making you feel more comfortable than a god.”

“That sounds amazing.”

“If you don’t believe me, try it and see, but sincerity is key.”

“I'm afraid I might not be up to it.” Song You smiled and began to leave.

At this moment, a tanned middle-aged man in the crowd, who had been looking around, noticed the jujube-red horse, the calico cat, and then the Daoist priest.The man took another look at the Daoist, and it seemed like memories were finally being stirred. He remembered that this was the very peculiar Daoist he had given a ride to last year. His eyes lit up, and he exclaimed, "It's you! Sir!"

Song You immediately stopped, smiling and bowing. “Greetings, ferryman. It’s been a year since we last met. You’ve changed a bit, and I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“Why are you here again, sir?”

“The scenery is just too beautiful.”

“Didn't you say you were traveling the world?”

“I haven’t traveled far.” Song You answered honestly without lying, and then added politely, “I didn’t expect to run into you again. It really is a stroke of fate.”

“Yes, indeed…”

“Are you not going out on the boat today?”

“Not today.”

“Is it because you're here today to worship the Frog God?”

“I haven’t taken the boat out for almost a month now.”

“Why? Have you changed your profession?”

“What’s the point of going out on the boat? It’s uncomfortable!” The ferryman waved his hand dismissively and didn't want to elaborate further. He then looked at Song You and remarked, “You really are impressive, sir. After a year, you haven’t changed much at all!”

“You, on the other hand, have lost quite a bit of weight.”

“How can we poor folks not lose weight? A big belly is something only the rich and powerful can afford.”

“That’s a fair point…” Song You glanced at the ferryman, noticing his emaciated and haggard appearance, but said nothing further. Instead, he politely remarked, “I’ve heard that as people age, it’s actually better to lose some weight.”

“Is that true?”

“But you shouldn’t be too thin.”

“Ha, yes, of course.”

“I won’t keep you any longer.”

“Go ahead, sir. We’re about to start.”

“Farewell.” Song You returned the bow and then left the temple.

Seeing that their conversation seemed like a reunion of old friends, no one interrupted them and waited for them to finish talking. Once Song You had left, the ritual began.

The process was not very solemn and was quite casual.

First, people took turns offering incense and bowing in prayer. The person offering incense did so with sincerity, but the others were not serious or quiet; they chatted quietly among themselves. It was clear that the ceremony was informal, with no strict or obvious regulations.

Song You stood by the door, quietly observing and listening. He heard someone mention that they had encountered something strange the previous night.

A person had come down from Yunding Mountain, asking what year it was and what the date was, acting like a lunatic. Immediately, someone else stood up to say that the same person had also inquired about the disappearance of the magistrate of Shizu County last year and had seemed dazed, muttering about gods and immortals.

He also heard that last year, wild beasts had gathered at the top of Yunding Mountain, and no one had planned to climb it for a long time. Most who had heard of Yunding Mountain and came to climb had been persuaded to turn back. Nobody knew why the beasts had gathered or when they would disperse.

As one person finished, another immediately stepped up to offer incense. When it was someone’s turn, they knelt before the statue and prayed devoutly. Once they stood up, they rejoined the conversation.

Halfway through, the statue began to exhibit a divine aura. The smoke from the incense floated toward the statue, disappearing into it as if it were a bottomless pit.

After the incense was finished, the remaining incense still burned. During this time, a leader began to lecture everyone about the Frog God, the underworld, and reincarnation.

Essentially, if one believed in the Frog God, they would be reborn well in their next life. Those who had committed crimes and were supposed to suffer in the underworld could avoid punishment by believing in the Frog God. This was a way to reinforce faith.

When the lecture ended and the incense had burned out, something miraculous happened—the statue began to ooze a greasy substance. Under the sunlight, it reflected a rainbow of colors, resembling the surface of newly-formed bubbles. Seeing this, the people went wild, rushing forward to lick the greasy substance.

A single lick made them squint their eyes. With another lick, their faces showed signs of enjoyment. After licking a few more times, they became dazed, staggering back and either sat down against the wall or sprawled out in various positions. Judging by their expressions, they seemed to be in a state of bliss. Some even seemed to have hallucinations, talking to themselves, laughing, or reaching out to grab things in the air.

Seeing this, Song You could only shake his head. “Let’s go.”

He turned and walked away into the distance. The sound of the horse's bells rang behind him.

The calico cat also trotted along, each step bouncing slightly, and looked back at him. “Did that toad make a mistake too?”

“Yes.”

“Is it the same as my mistake before?”

“No, it’s different.”

“How is it different?”

Song You spoke calmly as he walked, “You were doing your own thing. Mortals built a statue for you, offered incense, and eventually moved the statue to the large temple. You and your followers engaged in a mutually beneficial exchange, with your diligent efforts rewarded by incense. Lady Calico, you didn’t make a mistake; it was the Heavenly Palace that was at fault.

“But the toad in that temple is different. That temple originally didn’t belong to him; he occupied an empty temple. That’s one thing, but now he uses such sinister methods to deceive people, collect faith, and gather incense. He’s hurting the people.”

“Occupying someone else’s temple? That’s the worst!”

“…” Indeed, cats and humans had different concerns.

Song You smiled and didn’t correct the cat’s misunderstanding but added, “Using harmful methods to deceive people and gather incense is also very despicable.”

“I have a way to deal with him!”

“What way?”

“We can get a lot of maojuzi and cang’erzi and put them on him.”

“…That’s actually a good idea,” Song You said with a slight smile. After a few seconds, he continued, “But toads don’t have fur, so they won’t stick.”

“Oh!” The calico cat seemed to just remember this.

Then it said, “How ugly!”

“What’s ugly?”

“The toad has no fur, so it’s very ugly!”

“Are people ugly without fur too?”

“…” The calico cat looked up at Song You silently and then lowered its head again, not saying anything more.

Seeing this, Song You pressed his lips together tightly. The silence was deafening.

After a few seconds, the calico cat raised its paw to gently touch his pant leg, and it looked up to meet his gaze.

“…” This gesture of comfort was also somewhat unsettling.

Silently taking a few steps forward, he glanced back. The Frog God temple was still there, with people continuing to enter but no one coming out.

Song You couldn’t help but find it a bit strange.

The strangeness lay in the ferryman. He had climbed a mountain and spent three days doing so, which was only three days ago for him. But for others, it seemed like something that happened last year. So much had changed this year.

The strangeness also lay in the Frog God. The last time he visited, the Frog God lacked the power to grant health and longevity or blessings of many children. However, it could drive away evil spirits. Although it had become greedy for human incense, it hadn’t done anything more than that.

The Heavenly Palace and other Daoist priests might have dealt with him, but Song You had no desire to intervene. Unexpectedly, this time, the Frog God had become a nefarious god.

It was quite lamentable to think about. One couldn’t help but reflect that the pursuit of fame and fortune was not something only humans did; even demons, ghosts, and gods were not exempt from it.

But that toad must be a foolish demon.

Incense was a deadly temptation for mountain demons and spirits. Incense was also a god’s lifeblood. Occupying an empty temple was the instinct of ignorant spirits. Gathering incense was something all gods did, but using such methods was something the Heavenly Palace and the court could not tolerate. It could be said to be unacceptable to both those of the Divine Dao and the Mortal Dao.

Someone would eventually come to deal with him even if he hadn’t come, whether from the Heavenly Palace or the court, unless the county officials of Changsheng County were incompetent and corrupt, and there were no gods or spirits in the area.

It might be the responsibility of the Heavenly Palace, the court, or the Daoist priests, but it wasn’t the responsibility of the Hidden Dragon Temple.

If there was no one here to take care of it, Song You might intervene. But since the Thunder God Temple was only two li away, such demons and evils should fall under its jurisdiction. Song You planned to first inquire to see if there was something more to the situation or if this renowned Thunder God was just sitting idly.

After passing a small village and a tree, he soon arrived at a smaller temple than the Frog God temple. Song You walked over.

At the entrance, there was still a couplet that said, “How bold of you to dare come see me; quickly turn back and do no harm!”

Upon entering, he saw a statue seated in the center. The figure was tall and robust, exuding righteousness, with eyes wide open in anger. Clad in a black robe, it was none other than Duke of Thunder Zhou. Beside him were several smaller statues, representing local land gods and other deities casually worshiped by the villagers.

“Daoist priest…”

“Hmm?”

“What are we doing here?”

Song You looked down, and the calico cat seemed uneasy.

This temple was smaller and less well-maintained than the Frog God temple, but she clearly felt anxious and kept glancing nervously at the main god statue. Her voice had become quieter.

Thunder God indeed lived up to his name. It was time to invite Thunder God to come out and meet them.

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