Unintended Cultivator

Book 5: Chapter 51: Not Funny

Sen left the home of Tan Lin and Ung Wen feeling much more thoughtful than he ever would have expected. He’d been of a mind to make a simple deal and get some formation flags. Instead, he’d left with a challenge. He was relatively confident that he could meet the challenge. At least, he thought he could if Fu Ruolan had the right resources available. Tan Lin had been willing to make the formation flags that Sen wanted in exchange for a pill that would help his wife break through. Sen had immediately rejected that idea. Sen was willing to make the pill. He actually liked the idea of taking on a commission like that. It’d be like his days making elixirs back in that village. What he wasn’t interested in doing was helping Ung Wen break through to core formation just to leave the pair penniless. Given that Tan Lin was also seemingly trapped at the cusp of core formation, Sen had offered them a different bargain. Something that stood to benefit all of them. Knowing that he was going to be using formations possibly for centuries or even thousands of years, Sen wanted someone who could initially act as a regular supplier for him.

In the long run, though, he wanted to learn how to make the flags if he could. There was, of course, no guarantee that was possible. While Sen had a lot of confidence in himself, he also knew that not everyone could learn how to do everything to the same level of competence. For all of the time and money that Fu Ruolan had poured into learning alchemy, she wasn’t a match for Auntie Caihong. She wasn’t even really a match for Sen’s raw talent. However, he was under no illusion that he could match the raw scope of her knowledge about plants, reagents, or traditional alchemical techniques. While he could do things that she couldn’t, the reverse was also true. He was utterly, almost hilariously hopeless in using the techniques that most alchemists considered essential. If he could master the techniques used in creating formation flags, though, it would be an invaluable skill for the rest of his life. Sen was more than happy to craft something that would help them both break through in exchange for a ready supplier and, when Sen’s time was his own again, instruction.

It was with those thoughts swirling around in his head that he made his way back to Lo Meifeng’s home. He noticed that the formations were in their passive state, but didn’t give it much thought. A knock on the door brought Lo Meifeng, who just gave him an exasperated look.

“You don’t need to knock,” she said. “This place belongs to you more than it ever belonged to me.”

Sen shook his head. “I gave it to you. It’s yours. Besides, I wouldn’t want to walk in on anything that you might consider embarrassing.”

Lo Meifeng lifted an eyebrow. “Such as?”

Sen stumbled mentally at that question.

“You know,” he said.

“Know what?” she asked, the picture of perplexed innocence.

“You might have a guest,” said Sen, feeling off-balance.

“Why would that embarrass me?”

Sen started to answer when he realized what was happening. She was having fun at his expense. He had to admit that she’d done it so nonchalantly that he hadn’t seen it coming. Sen decided he might as well try to turn the tables.

“I just thought you might not enjoy it if I walked in while you were in the throes of passion and screaming your lover’s name.”

Lo Meifeng didn’t miss a beat. “Whatever gave you the impression that I’d be the one screaming someone’s name.”

Sen didn’t have a good answer for that. Lo Meifeng turned and walked back into the house with a look of triumph on her face. Sen followed her in and closed the door. What’s with her today? He found her lounging on a small mat and sipping something that his enhanced senses told him was alcoholic. He settled on another mat and leaned his head back against the wall. A quick scan of the house with his spiritual sense told him that they were alone. He went back and forth in his head before he finally asked the question he always knew he would ask.

“What happened with Chan Yu Ming?”

“Oh, I killed her,” said Lo Meifeng with a negligent motion of her hand.

Sen felt his mouth drop open as he stared at the woman. He’d been a little apprehensive about leaving Chan Yu Ming with Lo Meifeng. He’d even casually considered the idea that she might do something to the princess, but he’d dismissed it. She’d avoided killing that Zixin guy because she said she didn’t want trouble from the local sects. Killing Chan Yu Ming would bring a whole different kind of trouble to her door.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

“You killed her! Why?”

Lo Meifeng rolled her eyes. “Oh, she just kept crying and wailing about her father. It got tedious.”

Sen couldn’t figure out if he was angry, horrified, stunned, or all of them at the same time. He’d known he couldn’t do anything useful, but he’d just assumed that Lo Meifeng would send the princess on her way if she became too annoying. He’d never really considered that Lo Meifeng would just murder the girl, especially not for something as trivial as being tedious. He felt himself about to explode with some emotion when Lo Meifeng burst into hysterical laughter. He found himself staring at her again. She pointed at him.

“Your face!”

Sen closed his eyes and took several deep breaths while he tried to figure out exactly how he felt now that he’d had the rug pulled out from him. That just seemed to set off even more laughter from Lo Meifeng. He opened his eyes and glared at her. She had one arm across her stomach and had set her cup down, apparently not trusting she could keep it steady.

“Not funny!”

The woman started waving her hand at him as she gasped for breath. He wasn’t sure what the waving hand meant. It could mean that she wanted him to stop talking. It could just as easily be her brushing away his comment.

“I’m serious,” he said. “That wasn’t funny.”

“No,” she gasped. “It was hilarious. The look,” she wheezed, “on your face.”

“Why would you even say that?” he demanded.

The truth became self-evident after he gave it even a second of thought. She was still punishing him for letting her wonder if he was alive or dead for two years. He didn’t think that this little stunt was the best way to express her lingering anger at him. It was just mean. And he still wasn’t sure that she was joking.

“So, she’s not dead.”

Lo Meifeng managed to get her evil cackling under control. Okay, Sen admitted to himself, it isn’t actually evil cackling. Probably. Lo Meifeng took a couple of deep breaths.

“No. I didn’t kill her. I told her some things she didn’t want to hear and sent her on her way.”

“Things she didn’t want to hear? Like what?”

“That she was acting like an entitled brat, mostly. That she got everything she asked you for and didn’t hold up her end of literally anything.”

Sen felt like he ought to protest that description, but it was accurate. Sen had just written the whole thing off as another learning experience about not getting involved with mortal politics and nobility. Still, Lo Meifeng sort of had a point. Chan Yu Ming had promised him that manual, and he’d still had to go off and find a copy for himself.

“She’s not evil,” said Sen, even though he wasn’t sure why he said it.

Lo Meifeng gave him another look. “Maybe, but that’s no assurance that she won’t make more stupid decisions that could eventually get you killed. It was six people this time. It might be double that next time. You can’t just let her get away with this nonsense because you feel bad.”

Sen leaned his head back against a wall. “That’s not why I did it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Alright. Fine. It’s not the entire reason I did it. Do you know how many people I’ve killed?”

Lo Meifeng sat up a little straighter and her expression became more serious. “No.”

“Neither do I. I knew when I left that mountain that I’d probably have to kill, but I never imagined it would be so many. I mean, I’ve only been a wandering cultivator for a handful of years, and I’ve already lost count. I don’t see that as a good thing or as an accomplishment. That’s not even considering how many spirit beasts I’ve killed. I guess that some cultivators might see that as normal or just the way of things, but I never really wanted to kill anyone. I was looking for a reason not to kill her. The fact that she’s not evil was a reason. So, I took it.”

“Sen,” said Lo Meifeng, sounding very, very concerned, “you can always find a reason not to kill someone. It doesn’t mean you should always take it.”

“I know. Way back when I sort of thought I’d be the exception and never have to kill anyone. I’ve seen now that there are some people the world is better off without. There are some people who won’t leave you that choice. There are people you have to kill because, if you don’t, they will seek vengeance on you later. But do you honestly think Chan Yu Ming is one of those? She came here with six people and only one of them really wanted the fight. So, I killed him. She could have recruited a hundred people who had a real shot at killing me.”

Lo Meifeng thought it over before offering a reluctant nod. “She’s probably not that kind of person. But that doesn’t mean she won’t become one of them. Time has a way of making people think that they’re right.”

“Maybe so. And if she does, I’ll do what I have to do. Right here, right now, though, I don’t have to kill her. So, I’m choosing not to.”

“I don’t know how many people I’ve killed,” said Lo Meifeng, frowning.

Sen decided to get back at her a little bit. “Well, I guess that’s to be expected.”

“Why is that?”

“I mean when someone gets to be as venerable as you…” Sen began.

It was only an inhumanly fast movement that saved Sen from getting hit in the head with a wine bottle. He let out a laugh and dodged a cup, a small table, and the mat that Lo Meifeng had been sitting on. Sen held up his hands.

“I surrender,” he said, still laughing.

“Now that wasn’t funny,” said Lo Meifeng, glowering at him from across the room.

“It was a little funny.”

Eyes wild with fury, Lo Meifeng started looking around the room. Sen presumed it was for something else to throw at him.

“Okay. Okay. I’m sorry. It wasn’t funny.”

Lo Meifeng sniffed at him and walked out of the room.

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