162 Again
Zavian was stone-cold silent for a long time, and Neera began to wonder if he had heard her. He rubbed at his temple, his face tugged from stress and worry.
“Why didn’t you tell me anything before?” He asked.
“I thought I imagined it, Zavian.”
“God, Neera”, Zavian ran a hand through her hair and pressed a quick kiss on her lips, and rested his forehead against hers. Neera drew him close, offering as much comfort as a sick person can. Here he was, a disgruntled mess of a demon, and for her sake.
Again.
“It looked like… the creature from my dreams”, Neera whispered, drawing the covers over herself with a death-like grip. It was a true nightmare come to life. Golden eyes rose to meet hers, urging her to keep talking. “I think… I am hallucinating. Something is wrong with me. Not just with what I have seen, but it seems like”, she took a swipe at her nose. “Every time I am happy, something comes to ruin it.”
Zavian’s brows creased together in a frown. “Don’t say that, Neera.”
“But it is true,” she argued. “And I am scared, Zavian. I have a very bad feeling…”
She stopped and her breathing came out choked, and the oxygen in the room was not enough to supply her lungs. Zavian’s arms were wrapped around her, bracketing her in the security of his arms to calm her. She didn’t deserve it, and with what was happening in Darstun, he was left at two dead ends. He needed to act fast, but on what, he could not point out.
.....
He broke the hug and held Neera’s chin in his hand. “I will have the witches summoned…”
But before he could finish, Neera shook her head vigorously. “No, no witches. I can’t.”
“Eloise has a protégée that can be trusted.”
“No, please, no”, Neera pleaded. She didn’t trust the witches and their methods, and the last time still haunted her. She could remember the pleasure in the witch’s eyes as she drew her blood. She didn’t want to imagine what would be of her if they came again. Before Neera came to the castle, she had heard stories about them, from horrific night-time stories meant to instill a sense of vigilance in children to the monstrous activities the evil ones engaged in, but one thing was always the same with them- humans were nothing but pawns they toyed with at their leisure.
Zavian was stuck at crossroads, not having any solution to proffer. Instead, he tackled the first thing he could handle.
“What if…”, he paused and shifted closer to her, unsure of how to suggest it to her. “… you empower yourself? And what if I can help you do so?”
Neera wiped her wet face, and hope brightened her gloom just a little. “How?”
Freya’s taunting words had been on his mind for so long, but he wasn’t sure of how Neera’s reception of it was going to be. But he had to protect her, and with witches out of the option, there was only one way to go about it.
“What if… you become a demon?” Zavian let out slowly.
Neera went rigid. A demon? What was he going on about?
“I don’t understand, Zavian, I am human.”
“And I can make you a demon if you want,” Zavian said. “That way, you can live for centuries, and the more ancient you grow, the more your strength grows with you. You can be able to have control over situations like these.”
Neera shifted away from him. Zavian wanted to turn her into one of his kind. How was that supposed to be a saving for her?
“I won’t”, Neera said, the firm resolve of her voice throwing Zavian off by surprise. “Zavian, I can’t.”
“But why? Humans would love to be given a chance to live for many more years.”
Neera’s face broke into a frown. “I am not like the humans you are referring to. And besides, it feels like cheating.”
“Cheating?”
“The natural order of the world. It sounds so wrong, Zavian. And I don’t think me being a demon would resolve anything on ground.”
“But it would give us an eternity to spend together,” Zavian said. He put her small hands into his large ones. “And the opportunity to have our very own children someday. Don’t you want that, Neera? Little versions of you and me running around this castle? And hopefully, they will be as gentle and soft as you are, and I know they will serve a better reign than I ever can.”
Neera fell silent. Children. Could she dare dream of that?
She closed her eyes, and she could see a little girl with golden hair and a little boy with silver hair, both identical in every physical feature except the hair and eyes. She could hear the arguments between her and Zavian on which parent the children resembled more. She could picture being in bed with them, reading them stories of the past and fairy tales passed down generations. A tear ran down her cheek. It was too beautiful and too good to be true.
If they could get past this, past whatever was causing havoc in her head, it wasn’t a bad thing to consider. Sure, it sounded against the laws, even though there were no laws of the lands ruling against it, but to have Zavian for hundreds of lifespans, soak in the bliss of each waking day_ how much of a medicine for a soul the thought brought.
The sound of knocks burst her fantasy, its remains splattering all over the four walls of her reality. As if life had come to remind her of the impossibility of it, Jasmine walked into the room.
She looked between Zavian and Neera, and gave a comforting smile to the concubine.
“Finally, you are awake”, Jasmine stepped forward. Her hair had grown longer, and it tumbled down her should in midnight waves. She stopped behind Zavian, and Neera watched as she placed a hand on his shoulder. Zavian looked at the hand but said nothing.
“The King and I were both worried about you”, she smiled at her, but Neera’s eyes were fixed on the hand on Zavian’s shoulder. The small gesture didn’t sit well with her; it looked possessive, as if claiming Zavian within her space.
“I am well, thank you”, Neera spoke courteously but through her teeth.
“Care to tell us what happened to you?”
Us. The King and I.
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