Chapter 62
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How many more times do I have to do this at my age?
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In my previous life, pain and injury were undervalued, but that was just the way of society, not an absolute belief.
To put it in terms familiar to this life, it’s like expecting adults to act their age. By a certain age, it’s assumed they’ll take care of their own lives, earn their own money, and not cry like children over minor setbacks. That kind of expectation.
The values in my previous world were similar.
“Kwon Yeonhee, you surprisingly have a weak mental state….”
At Lee Jaehun’s comment, Kwon Yeonhee exaggeratedly scrunched her face and asked,
“…Is that something you should say to someone who just stopped crying?”
“Your already soft face has turned into a complete dough ball.”
“You’re making fun of me for crying, aren’t you?”
“Think about it, at your age, crying in front of others like that. Even my niece wouldn’t cry out of pride.”
“Got scolded for being worse than your niece….”
She didn’t seem genuinely shocked. It was likely because she felt embarrassed about crying, so Lee Jaehun decided to stop there.
‘When will she ever grow out of being a fledgling?’
Lee Jaehun had a tolerant side towards the immature ones, so instead of getting angry, he just missed the customs of his past life.
In the previous life, physiological tears or screams from pain were one thing, but crying like the world was ending over a little pain would get you labeled as pathetic. If you assigned value to pain and injury and let emotions in, you were seen as immature or lacking. In terms of modern common sense, it felt like watching someone overly immersed in a movie or animation.
However, this also meant that even in such a culture, there were people who did assign value to pain and injury. Just as not everyone can be the same. And Lee Jaehun had to manage those people to ensure they worked efficiently.
They were all labor, after all.
“…Well, our team’s youngest, have you come to your senses? Feeling a bit better now?”
“Director, please stop teasing Yeonseok….”
“To think my genuine concern as a director is being called bullying, that’s insubordination.”
Looking at Noh Yeonseok, who still seemed dazed, Lee Jaehun wiped his mouth and continued.
“…If it gets too hard, just say so.”
He could afford this level of consideration for a fledgling.
Even in his past life, though he couldn’t empathize with why they fell into despair and cried, he understood their reasons.
To that end, Lee Jaehun would figure out the individual’s tendencies. Whether they responded better to empathetic encouragement or tangible rewards, or if they needed a mix of both through slightly complex conversations. Whether he should approach them with short-term or long-term plans. Knowing the cause and process allowed him to alter the outcome.
‘Especially for those under mental pressure, the effect is immediate.’
In harsher terms, it was shallow brainwashing; in kinder terms, it was effective comfort.
If this were his past world, Lee Jaehun wouldn’t have bothered to mask his expressions. He wouldn’t have tried to use softer words and tones.
However, in this world, the term ‘brainwashing’ had a very negative connotation. ‘Comfort’ sounded much better, making the former feel like a mad scientist while the latter seemed caring and thoughtful. It was a difference in perception.
‘Besides… honestly, it’s not like I’ve ruined someone with drugs or anything. At this level, it’s just simple comfort.’
And it was too early to seem like a lunatic brainwashing others.
‘I’ll proceed with that once I join the detective crew.’
Until then, he needed to maintain at least a semblance of a good person image.
“……”
“Director, how should we store this?”
“I don’t know… since it’s fruit, keep it in the shade or something.”
What’s happening in my life?
As he asked a question, hoping the protagonist would spill some information, Lee Jaehun suddenly felt a wave of fatigue. It was a weariness that had clung to him ever since he arrived in the hidden world.
“Hey, ahjussi. Is this a fruit?”
“Well, it came from a tree, so it’s probably a fruit.”
Along with the usual grumbling about how hard it was to make a living, another thought crossed his mind.
‘This is going to kill me.’
It was because of the endless troublesome matters.
Originally, the shelter that should have been roughly built by this afternoon wasn’t even started because all his time was spent calming his team. Deputy Jung seemed to have picked up on it but wasn’t saying anything, probably because he didn’t feel like working right now.
‘Well, even if that’s not the case…’
Kwon Yeonhee’s situation was truly unexpected.
He had expected some basic stress from throwing a chick that had lived on a peaceful cushion into the wild, but Kwon’s condition was worse than he had anticipated. Despite his efforts to manage it, something had gone wrong somewhere, resulting in this mess.
To add to the guilt and embarrassment evident during the hurried consolation attempts, it seemed Kwon Yeonhee felt a significant debt to Lee Jaehun. He couldn’t understand why she suddenly felt this way, especially when she had been doing fine until now.
As if the failure of his immediate plans wasn’t enough to make him uneasy, there was one more important matter for him.
‘What do I do if I have that dream again?’
An inexplicable lucid dream.
This was Lee Jaehun’s biggest concern lately.
“…Why don’t you take a break, sir? Moving around in your condition couldn’t have been easy.”
“But I made it back in one piece, didn’t I?”
“I don’t understand how you can say that covered in blood.”
Dr. Ha Sungyoon, who had somehow returned to his usual self, continued with a smile while tapping his own chest. It was clear leaving him be was the best approach.
“If you don’t want to make things worse.”
“…That’s really gross.”
It meant that even if they secretly threw up blood somewhere, they should rest while they could.
‘Not that no one would notice.’
Lee Jaehun sighed and slumped down in a corner.
Though his clothes were in tatters, his front was relatively clean. When he first vomited the water from the dream lake, he hadn’t gotten this dirty, so even the somewhat clueless ones could figure out he had coughed up blood more than once. If Dr. Ha Sungyoon mentioned it, no one would ignore it.
Thinking this made the situation feel even more serious.
‘This isn’t just sleepwalking. I didn’t always dream every time I slept.’
Moreover, while vivid dreams could be brushed off, it was different when parts of those dreams manifested in reality. Was it because this world’s mental power had tangible effects that even dreams changed? Was that really the only reason? Why didn’t other monsters appear in his dreams? He couldn’t recall any similar cases from the novels, no matter how much he pondered.
Was it because the insane protagonist didn’t describe it properly, or because he didn’t pay enough attention while reading out of duty, or did he read it and forget, or was it not supposed to happen in this world at all?
“……”
Watching Ha Sungyoon examine a glass apple calmly, Lee Jaehun spoke as if nothing was wrong.
“…Oh, the fire’s dying. Someone tear up a box and throw it in.”
“I’ll do it.”
Lee Jaehun grimaced slightly as he watched Park Dayoung rush to the campfire, then relaxed. Her eagerness suggested her brother, Park Dahoon, had given her some hints.
‘…Or maybe she was awake early in the morning?’
In this situation, not having a single guard up was strange. Since everyone looked so tired and distracted, he thought, ‘let them all die for all I care,’ but he also knew he could wake up if something went wrong. Lucid dreaming had ruined that plan, though.
Even so, as long as he woke up from the lucid dream, his sleep was light enough not to be a problem…
“Someone might have been awake.”
Lee Jaehun wasn’t the only one with sharp nerves. Besides, he had been distracted by stomach pain early in the morning. It was possible someone had eavesdropped on the conversation between the detective and his follower.
He couldn’t just keep quiet, so Lee Jaehun blinked slowly and spoke.
“…Yeah, thanks.”
“……”
Park Dayoung looked around nervously, fidgeting with her hands as if searching for something to say. Finally, she gave a small nod and quickly walked back to her brother. The funny thing was that her brother, Park Dahoon, who was acting as her wall, also couldn’t meet Lee Jaehun’s gaze.
Feeling another wave of strange fatigue, Lee Jaehun resumed his earlier thoughts.
‘I don’t have a clear solution.’
This was the fundamental problem.
He didn’t know the nature of the lucid dreams he had every night. Was it because he was in the hidden world? Or because it was the first evening after his return? If so, what was the reason?
‘It’d be nice if I could just wake up naturally at a decent time, like in a normal dream….’
Anyway, this world was the hidden world, influenced 200% by the mind. Could such a vivid lucid dream be unaffected by this world’s mental influence? Could he wake up just by lying still, feeling discomfort, or being externally stimulated, like in an ordinary dream?
Lee Jaehun thought the chances were very slim. He couldn’t be sure that if he waited, he wouldn’t wake up a year later or something equally absurd.
‘The most urgent thing is figuring out how to wake up from the dream.’
It was an unavoidable issue.
Why did he start having these dreams? What was the cause, and how could he stop them?
For now, Lee Jaehun had no certainties. He had to deal with immediate problems first. He needed to decide what actions to take within the dream.
‘Waiting it out isn’t an option.’
It would be great if he could wake up by just waiting, but he had a gut feeling it wouldn’t be that easy. The most reliable way seemed to be receiving a significant physical shock within the dream, as he had done before. But what would that be?
‘A shock. A shock…’
It was an unfamiliar concept for him.
In his past life, even with a regeneration ability strong enough to survive decapitation, he had faced death hundreds or thousands of times. Though his current body and mind were weaker, he was still somewhat accustomed to physical trauma and death.
‘Should I smash my head against a tree? Hold my breath until I die?’
But he was afraid that in the former case, his body would start acting like a woodpecker while sleepwalking. In the latter case, he worried his body might actually stop breathing, leading to death. He was also anxious about what might happen if he died in his sleep—would he get stuck between timelines like a lost child in a novel?
So, as he had concluded in similar dilemmas before, dying was the surest way out….
“……”
Honestly, it was frustrating.
‘How am I supposed to deal with this?’
With so little known, trying to escape the dream by dying without affecting reality felt absurd. Regardless of how he died, his companions would inevitably discover his condition.
Park Dahoon had already caught him on a night outing, and Detective Hong Kyungjun had seen him with blood streaming from his mouth and nose. Who knew who else might have been awake during the night?
In other words,
‘There’s no way to make them believe I’m okay anymore.’
Honestly, it was ridiculous to act like he wasn’t a patient when blood was pouring from his mouth.
“Director, you look really tired.”
“I’m fine.”
“…Oh, okay….”
Lee Jaehun glanced at Kwon Yeonhee’s swollen eyes and then looked away. She, in turn, approached Kang Mina. Though they seemed to be talking, Lee Jaehun was too preoccupied with his own thoughts.
‘What a headache.’
Among the group was a Dr Ha Sungyoon, and Detective Hong Kyungjun, who had climbed the ranks through tough experiences. They wouldn’t believe Lee Jaehun’s condition was normal, especially with all his external injuries.
To cough up blood, there had to be blood in his organs—lungs, stomach, bronchial tubes, etc. Unless he had filled a syringe with blood and injected it into his organs, he had to explain it as an internal injury or a related disease.
‘Of course, I could claim it’s due to the hidden world’s influence, but that’s a stretch.’
It was an unreasonable excuse in many ways.
He wasn’t injured or sick, so saying it was the hidden world’s influence? Then why wasn’t it happening to anyone else?
The only difference between Lee Jaehun and the other survivors was that he was a lot more mentally unstable. This would just reinforce his crazy image. It would imply that he was a lunatic acknowledged by the hidden world.
‘If I had stuck to my original plan, I might have welcomed that reaction….’
But after deciding to change course after meeting Detective Hong, he couldn’t afford to be seen as more of a lunatic than necessary. He needed to be within acceptable bounds, and being a recognized madman by the hidden world didn’t fit that.
So, he needed to attribute his previous blood vomiting to internal physical injuries.
‘But that’s tricky too.’
How could he plausibly explain such an injury?
If he had an injury severe enough to cough up blood, his current condition would be hard to explain. With blood in his organs, he should be experiencing intermittent coughing or nausea, occasionally spitting up blood.
Humans can’t easily produce a cup of blood. Even making that much blood internally, let alone storing it, is difficult. If he had vomited that much blood, it would be medically inexplicable for him to be walking around. He would’ve already died or passed out.
Unlike in novels, having a medical expert in the group was inconvenient because it prevented him from making up ridiculous excuses. Lee Jaehun had to come up with a plausible cause and effect.
It was really a headache.
“……”
“Director, would you like some water? You haven’t had any since picking those.”
“Oh… sure, thanks.”
“…It’s nothing….”
Team Leader Kang looked a bit puzzled as she returned to her seat, but Lee Jaehun, deep in thought, didn’t notice. He just kept drinking from the water bottle, continuing his thoughts.
After finishing some water, Lee Jaehun made up his mind.
‘I’ll stick with drowning as the method.’
It was the safest choice.
Anyway, he had already been caught coughing up blood by the detective. The group would soon find out, so it was better to stick with the current plan and keep showing signs of illness.
Rubbing his lips briefly, he thought,
‘A completely new problem would be more shocking for them.’
If he started bashing his head against a tree like a sleepwalker or stopped breathing, it would be alarming.
It was better to highlight an existing issue rather than adding a new one before the current one was resolved. It was already challenging for Jaehun to come up with plausible explanations for these various issues.
He didn’t know how to stop having these dreams. He didn’t know how to wake up quietly without any problems. Eventually, he had to be prepared for the worst and find the least painful way to deal with it.
However, the problem wasn’t completely solved.
‘How do I explain this blood?’
The small amount of lake water, the blood, he had coughed up in front of the group earlier could be explained as a nosebleed trickling into his mouth or a scratch in his bronchial tubes. It wasn’t a perfect explanation, but it was something they could reluctantly accept if he insisted.
But the amount of blood Detective Hong had seen was far more than that. He had described it as ‘a bottle of water.’ Jaehun had to figure out where in his body all that blood could have come from and why.
The most plausible scenario in this case was…
“……”
Ah.
The algae monster.
‘…Is this the point where I swallow my pride?’
Lee Jaehun had been dragged by the algae monster during the evening, and since he hadn’t shared the details with the group, they had no idea what he had gone through.
Moreover, with his exterior so battered, it was unlikely his insides were completely unharmed.
Instinctively, he covered his mouth as if to hide something.
“……”
“Wow! This is super sweet!”
“…Oh, you already ate it?”
Lee Jaehun responded to Kwon Yeonhee’s cheerful voice. Hearing her excited tone, it seemed like she was consciously trying to lift everyone’s spirits.
He glanced at the sky, which was slowly turning black, then approached the group gathered around the campfire.
“Look at these kids sitting around without waiting for the adult.”
“Director, even my grandpa doesn’t say things like that.”
“Are you picking a fight?”
The sky would soon be completely black.
Though not much had twisted, everything felt like it was spiraling out of control.
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