Chapter 36. You, Me, And The Nameless Store VI
Truth to be told, I don’t actually dislike the darkness of the night. In fact, I think I liked the sight of the flickering light slowly swallowed up into the night. Seeing the garden during nightfall made me realize that it was more silent compared to the afternoon. The night was a time where animals would quiet down as the supposedly sleeping leaves and trees would make their existence known. I can feel that the presence, sounds, and scents of the garden were more intense than it was during the day.
If I was alone, I would be afraid to go into the dark, for the fear of what might appear within the darkness. But with someone by my side, I would be excited as if it was the beginning of an adventure. So, I enjoyed the silence of the night. It’s when the same garden of the house can seem like a whole different place.
It was only after everything was over that I remembered that I wasn’t afraid of something that would appear out of the darkness, but actually, I feared the void that would swallow me completely. Furthermore, before this, I never felt threatened by it because I was ignorant of the reality that I deserved such an end.
After reaching the inn, we had our meals, completed the necessary preparation for tomorrow, and each of us had our baths.
The trees that were lined up by the sides of the streets made a soft, subdued sound as their leaves sway and dance along with the wind. Since the rest of the area was peaceful, the rustles of the leaves could be heard from the room with an opened window.
I used to listen to the whispers of the forest while walking with the wind and basking in the scent of the wood and leaves during the night. I found tiny white flower buds that I hadn’t noticed in the day. I was so happy when I found them and excitedly told her that we should come by again and see them tomorrow when it was light. She couldn’t help but let out an adorable chuckle. Even though I was laughed at, it wasn’t an unpleasant kind of laugh at all, so I was not bothered by it and laughed along. While being elated with joy, I said, “It’s a promise, okay?”
“Is there something worrying you, My Lady?”
Caron had called out to me so softly, only then I realized that I’ve been staring out the open window ever since I was done washing up. I frantically turned to face her. I was careless. I knew that Caron was already quite tired and she had to get ready for tomorrow. So, I should have asked her to retire earlier.
“I’m sorry, Caron. I think I’m a bit tired. It’s maybe because it has been a long time since I’ve been outside…”
“My Lady, May I be pardoned for my rudeness?”
“What is it?”
“You looked quite disheartened. If you don’t mind, you can talk to Caron here.”
When I heard that she was asking me as Caron and not as the head maid of the household, I couldn’t control myself but let out a smile.
“Fufu… Just like back in the days,”
“No, no. Back then, you were the one that used to listen to me all the time, my Lady. This time, it’s my turn. I want to be of help to you.”
“It’s not… like that. You have always made me happy. I am so lucky to have you in my life.”
I think of her as my best friend. She was, is and always will be. She was the first person to show me how enjoyable life would be if you were to spend it with a friend.
“Hey, Caron. Why don’t you come over and have a seat next to me?”
“Please keep it a secret from Jasmine and the others… okay?”
“Fufu… I’m sure that Jasmine and the others have more secrets to keep from you than you do from them.”
“Miss… You can scold me once in a while, you know?”
Caron pulled the chair that was nearest to herself and sat down next to me. Regardless if she was standing or sitting, she is still a little taller than me. Somehow that fact made me slightly sad – to think that I used to be taller. However, at the same time, I am so happy to see that she has lived all these times.
“I…was remembering a promise.”
“Was it the promise you made with me? I’m sorry if I got it wrong…but, are you talking about the little white flower?”
I was taken aback to hear Caron say the exact thought I had, and I could only blink in response. Then, I saw Caron’s face gradually twisted into a grimace.
“Please…forgive me. In the end, I couldn’t fulfil it despite making a promise with you, my Lady.”
Caron bowed her head so low that it caught me by surprise. The promise indeed went unfulfilled. On the day of our promise, she got news from her parents that her marriage had been decided. So, Caron was forced to head back home. However, I wasn’t staggered by her actions but rather…the regret that was showing on her face was so vivid.
Time waits for no one. Many years had passed since we had last exchanged the promise. I already died and was reborn. Even Caron, as she continued on living, had begun nurturing a new life and shouldn’t have a moment of standstill.
And yet, the emotions that were surfacing on Caron’s face were so intense and painful. It is hard to believe that such a long time has passed.
“Caron, have you been regretting about it ever since? No, you can’t do that. It’s already something of the past, and just a small matter. Besides… my life had ended once. If it’s about unfulfilling the promise, I was the same as well. Don’t look so sad, Caron… for making such a promise to me.”
In fact, I should be the one to be reprimanded. Despite making a promise for a reunion, I ended up giving my life away just like that. Instead, Caron looked as if she was a criminal that committed an offense.
“Why didn’t you throw it away? Such a promise that would only hurt you should have been thrown away and forgotten as soon as it became a fact that it was no longer able to be fulfilled.”
Cecil told me that to forget and be healed by time is one of the rights that only the living have. He is right. Only those who live on to mark their existence into time have such right.
So, why must Kaid, Caron, and Fennell always have that kind of expression on them – all the time?
Both Wilfred and I have been cut off of our time and got twisted to defy time. However, they are different. They have lived through time, and yet, why doesn’t time heal them? Even a trivial promise exchanged long ago has become a seed that consumes them slowly as time continues to flow forward.
I was completely ignorant of how a small promise that I had made so carelessly would turn out to be a curse that binds them for so long. It was just a harmless promise made at the moment, so why is it that it continued to haunt them for so long simply because it had not been fulfilled?
“Why is it that all of you refused to break free from the shackles of the curse that I placed on you…?”
“Miss… My Lady… Oh, please. Please don’t wear such an expression.”
Caron’s hands, which are warm and slightly bigger than mine, grasped hold onto my right hand.
Her face, her voice, her expressions, and her eyes reflected the aching feeling churning inside of her. She bit onto her lip tightly before opening her mouth lightly and muttered.
“Please… Don’t say that it’s a curse. Please don’t say such sad words…”
I could feel that her voice was filled with pain and agony – as if she could break down at any moment.
“It’s precious. A precious treasure of mine. All the memories that my Lady has given me are very dear to me… I’m sure it’s the same for Master as well. So please… don’t tell me to throw it away.”
“Caron… But I don’t want to see you guys looking sad…”
“Why do you utter such melancholic things? We want to grant whatever my Lady wishes us to. As it is important to us that we managed to carry it along with us. Even if we were to bear a new one with us, we will continue to hold onto it because we do not want to lose it. That is what we want. My Lady, I may not know what had happened, but you must never forget this. If we had lost the Lady that we held within ourselves, Laius would have been lost as well. We, who are part of Laius Lord’s factions are all connected to you, my Lady. It is thanks to you that we were able to maintain our foothold and press through those turbulent times. Please don’t take that away from us -who have clung to the memories that you have given us. If that were to happen, the Lordships of Laius will be scattered and fade out.”
At that instant, I wanted to tell her that it’s not true. However, I couldn’t bring myself to say it. That’s because Caron’s eyes. Her serious and unwavering eyes were looking straight into me.
“My Lady. Your existence itself has definitely saved, not Laius but us as well. Please don’t forget that. Can you… promise me that?”
At those last words, I felt my hand tighten around Caron’s. A warm hand that is a little bigger than mine. Her hands… my precious friend’s hands… reminded me of my mother’s.
It was hard for me to digest and accept everything that she had expressed. Things like me saving both Laius and them – that’s just impossible. Even if Caron was the one who said it, it was impossible to accept. Despite this…
I placed my left hand over both of Caron’s hands which are holding my right hand.
“Caron, will you… make a promise with me once again?”
If you had known that fifteen years ago, I threw all my responsibilities and commitments behind, where I chose death as a way for me to escape. Would you say the same to me?
I wonder how I looked right now. I saw that Caron’s face was slightly contorted as if she was either about to cry or smile.
“If you are willing to let me, my Lady, I want to make a promise with you. And when that promise is fulfilled, I want to make another one, again and again, and again. It has to be you. Only the promises that I make with you, my Lady, are the ones that hold meaning to me. My Lady, please, can you make a promise with me?”
“I’ll…promise. I promise you, Caron… The truth is, it is still hard for me to swallow what you have said. I think I will still think that I would be a curse to you guys – not salvation”
“My Lady! That’s not true!”
I interrupted Caron’s words that she cried out painfully and continued.
“I’m sorry, Caron. I may not be able to change the way I feel about it… But I’ll remember what you had said. I will never forget it. Since it’s the promise that belongs to both you and me. I’m so happy that I was able to make a promise to you. That’s the heartfelt truth. So, Caron… Don’t cry…”
“I’m… not crying! I’m the head maid!”
A small tear dropped onto my hand from Caron, who was facing downwards. If she wasn’t crying, then I she must be. I am the only one who knows the existence of this rain and the warmth of the raindrops.
“Caron, I like you. I really like you.”
“I love you too, my Lady…”
“I’m so happy. I love you too, Caron. My one and only Caron… I hope you’ll always be my friend.”
“Yes. Of course…! I’m delighted to be your friend, my Lady. Truly, I am honoured, but more than that, I’m happy.”
The expression that Caron had on her face as she looked up to me. It reminded me of the past as well as how Jasmine is. She laughed and smiled at me. As expected, Caron was just so adorable.
“Me too. I’m feeling overjoyed. I’m happy to have been your friend, and I’m also happy to still be your friend.”
“Yes…Yes, my Lady…!”
Caron let out one deep breath before puffed out her chest to take it all back in.
“The Lady may be in romantic terms with you but please don’t forget that I have received her love as well!”
I titled my head in slight confusion at her sudden and bold declaration. It was quite obvious that her words weren’t directed to me. I quickly took a glance around the room – it does seem that it was just me and Caron in the room.
Even so, the door slowly opened. What was revealed beyond the door was Kaid with a troubled expression on his face.
He was probably getting ready for bed since he will be quite occupied tomorrow. He just finished his bath since his hair was wet. However, I’m not sure if the servants had already swarmed around him to push him to go to bed or he had decided to do it himself because it will be busy tomorrow.
Kaid stood still right in front of the opened door – refused to enter the room.
“What were you doing here, Master?”
“No…Nothing. I was hoping to ask the Lady a few… questions.”
“There was someone else with the Lady, and it was me. So you hesitated on calling out, and as a result, you ended up eavesdropping?”
“Yeah… I’m sorry. But, then again, how did you know I was there?”
“Who did you think gave the order to get the Master in the bath? It’s only befitting as a head maid to be able to have a grasp on how long it would take for the Master to be done. After all, our Master is a very handful one, one who easily neglects himself to no end.”
“It’s quite reassuring to know that the head maid of Laius is quite capable…”
“Absolutely not. I’m not quite up to the standard yet.”
Without wavering in the slightest from her outstretched back, Caron’s voice was relaxed and her eyes averted towards me.
“Then, my Lady. I shall retire for the day. Tomorrow will be your first visit to the Capital after a long time. Please get some sleep as soon as you can.”
“Yes. I will. You too should do the same. Thanks for today, Caron.”
“No… It’s nothing much. It’s my pleasure.”
Seeing her smile so softly made me feel so happy that I unconsciously lifted myself and lightly pulled her hand. I gave a quick peck on her endearing freckled cheek as her eyes widened in surprise. After two and three blinks in response, she chuckled and returned the kiss. It felt ticklish that I couldn’t help but let out a giggle.
“I love you, Caron.”
“Me too, my Lady.”
This time, we did the same thing but instead onto the other cheek.
After exchanging our greetings with each other, Caron welcomed Kaid, who had yet entered the room, and stood at the same spot where Kaid was earlier.
“And now, if you’ll excuse me, Master.”
Kaid flinched the moment he got called out by Caron who bowed deeply. Without any concern towards Kaid’s actions, Caron slowly raised her head.
“I felt very much jealous and resentful towards you for your outing about the city with the Lady. But, right now, I feel very much refreshed!”
“Carolina turns into quite an honest and straightforward person whenever you’re involved – which I would have preferred…”
Caron, who was whistling while looking quite ecstatic with full of confidence, looked very adorable.
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