Michail was a child born from an unplanned moment.
He was born at a time when he was unwanted by all, to a famous dancer mother from the Empire and a second son of a status-conscious family.
The man failed to establish a position within his household, and the woman, who loved her career as a dancer, found herself with a child when it was least convenient.
Michail’s mother began having difficulties with her dancing career due to her growing belly.
Pregnancy, a gift of life, was like poison for a dancer who wished to maintain her honor. The woman, who wanted to keep her dignity as a dancer, chose to retire, while Michail’s father abandoned the dancer and disappeared.
A commoner dancer had no means of recourse.
Regardless of the unintended outcome, the world was not kind enough to listen to the story of a mere commoner.
Even if ht of day.
The woman hated the child in her womb.
Believing him to be the reason her life fell apart.The man she loved ran away.
She lost her job as a dancer.
Her life turned miserable, and she blamed it all on the child in her belly, leading Michail’s mother to despise him even before he was born.
-Waah… Waah…
-Shut up.
-Waah… Waah…
-I said shut up! All you do is cry, just shut up already…!
By the time Michail’s ears opened, the first words he ever heard were his mother’s harsh curses.
He learned the vulgar command to shut up faster than the word ‘mommy.’
-Shut up…
-…What?
-Shut up!
-What did you just say?
Michail thought his name was ‘shut up’ until he was two.
Every time he called for his mother because he was hungry, she always responded that way.
Still, Michail loved his mother.
Though she always yelled and got annoyed, she was his only ally in the world. He waited for her when she returned home drunk.
Though he had never taken a single step out of his tightly locked room, Michail loved his mother because to him, she was his entire world.
He also loved his mother when she returned drunk.
On drunken nights, she held him tight and apologized, saying, ‘I’m sorry.’
Four years passed.
Michail’s world started to expand.
His mother began talking to him and taking him for walks, holding his hand.
Every time, their walk was the same.
Buying candy at a familiar store and standing silently in an empty alley.
-Mommy, why do we always stand here?
-…
-Mommy?
His mother would hold his hand tightly and sigh before heading back.
It was a repetitive daily routine, but Michail cherished the moments spent outside with his mother.
Truly.
His mother started working.
Not as a dancer performing for high-ranking officials, but as a server in an adventurer’s pub.
There were more days she drank, often not returning home.
Every time she came back, she looked at the sleeping Michail and sighed deeply.
‘I should sot.
One day.
An unfamiliar man showed up at home.
Introducing himself as his father, the man was about five years older than his mother.
The man, who told Michail to call him dad, made his mother appear happy.
The man bought him toys.
He cherished the moments with them, though he knew the man probably wasn’t his real father.
Michail instantly knew this man wasn’t his father.
Perhaps instinctively.
He just felt that way.
Three years passed.
By the time the number of men telling him to call them dad exceeded ten.
His mother returned home with a hardened expression.
-I’m back, Mommy!
-…
-Mommy?
-Oh… right.
Seeing Michail, his deeply troubled mother forced a smile.
His mother, who had once despised him, now only disliked him a little.
Michail smiled, too, mirroring his mother.
-Good job today!
-Yes.
His mother, without removing her makeup, sat facing him. Michail asked, curious why she was being so kind despite not smelling of alcohol.
-Did you drink a lot?
-No, I didn’t drink.
-Wow…!
Facing him, she patted his head and embraced him. Feeling the warmth of her hug, Michail opened his eyes wide and looked up at her.
Blinking.
She then whispered softly while stroking his hair.
-Sweetie.
-Yes?
-Do you love Mommy?
-Yes!
-Then… would you also like Mommy to be happy?
-Yes! If Mommy is happy, so am I.
-Good…
For the first time, his mother bought him a toy.
A large teddy bear, not under the influence of alcohol.
Unlike the toys brought by the men, Michail adored the teddy bear his mother had bought especially for him.
-Wowww!
-It’s a birthday present.
-Really?!
-Yes.
Every time she saw her delighted son, his mother gave a bitter smile. Back then, Michail couldn’t understand her smile.
Deep inside, his mother’s troubled mind.
When night came, Michail tightly hugged the teddy bear to sleep. The strong scent of his mother’s perfume on the bear made him feel as though she was hugging him.
So a day passed.
Then two.
A week later.
His mother took him for a walk.
Farther than usual.
Seemingly heading to a place they could never return from by carriage, his mother silently stroked his head, smiling without saying a word.
-Mommy, where are we going?
-…
-Are we going on a trip?
-Yes.
-Wow, are we going to see the sea?
-The sea… yes.
Without a word, his mother patted his head while the carriage wheels kept turning endlessly.
The closer they got to their destination, the more excited Michail got. The thought of seeing the sea from his books made his heart race.
-Mommy, have you seen the sea before?
-No.
-Oh…
His mother’s expression hardened the closer they got to the sea.
-Squeak.
The carriage stopped in a place Michail had never seen before. There was no sign of the blue sea he had read about in fairy tales.
Instead, there was a bridge carrying sewage, with dilapidated houses looking ready to collapse on the other side.
Hugging his teddy bear tightly, Michail looked at his mother.
He was scared.
The staring eyes of children on the other side of the bridge frightened him, as did the scurrying mice.
Feeling an ominous premonition that he might never see his mother again, Michail clutched his teddy bear tightly.
His mother crouched down to look at him.
With a kind smile, she patted his tear-streaked cheek and spoke.
-Sweetie, Mommy has some things to do. Can you wait here for a bit?
Michail shook his head.
Without wiping his snotty nose, he shook his head while clinging to her.
His mother held his hand tightly.
-Mommy will definitely come back.
-…
-I promise.
-A promise?
-Yes.
-Will you really come back at thirteen?
-Yes. Mommy will bring your real dad. Just wait a bit.
Michail extended his pinky to his mother.
-A promise…
His mother hooked her finger with his and smiled.
-A promise.
As his mother walked away, Michail ran towards her. Despite falling and getting a nosebleed from his short legs, he didn’t cry because his mother hated it when he cried.
She had promised, said she would come back. Without wiping his nosebleed, Michail grabbed her coat and spoke.
-Mommy.
Turning around, his mother was crying.
It was the first time he saw her cry in front of him.
Michail asked her.
-Why are you crying? You said you wouldn’t give me a gift if you cried.
-No, Mommy isn’t crying. So, why are you looking for Mommy when I said I’d come right back?
-Because…!
Michail fidgeted his fingers as he asked.
-What’s my name?
-…
-You called me, but I don’t know what it is.
She bit her lip and bowed her head.
-Come to think of it, I never named you…
She paused briefly before speaking in a watery voice.
-Misa.
-…Huh?
-Misa. That’s your name.
-Misa?
-Yes. Misa.
Hearing his name for the first time, Michail smiled and let go of her coat.
He waved his hands energetically.
-Be right back!
-…
-Mommy! Come back soon!
-…
His mother never came back.
Michail waited for her.
He counted ‘one day, two days, three days,’ turning the ongoing nightmare into a routine.
Under the bridge they promised, he waited for his mother, ears alert, but she never came.
Strangers reached out to help him, but he bit and ran away, repeating the pattern.
Day by day.
As two, three days passed, the dark thoughts solidified into certainty.
He sobbed himself to sleep, believing, ‘She will be there when I wake up.’
On that particular rainy day.
Cold.
Dark.
He disliked the teddy bear soaked in rainwater.
Feeling cold with a feverish forehead, Michail slowly opened his heavy eyelids.
“Mommy…”
“Mommy isn’t here.”
“Huh…?”
A little boy stood with a cardboard box in hand.
Poking Michail’s cheek with his dirty fingers, the boy said.
“Really…?”
“…”
“Is this fate?”
“…Mommy?”
“Not your mommy. But then again, not your daddy either… Hm.”
The boy smiled.
“I guess I’m your brother?”
Raindrops trickled down the boy’s red hair, falling to the ground.
“Nice to meet you.”
“…”
“Call me Lee Minhyuk.”
That was Michail’s first meeting with the red-haired boy.
End of Chapter
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