She stared at him with hooded eyes as if she could not look away. She could hear his words, but her mind failed to comprehend them. One thing was running through her mind, wanting his lips on hers.
She longed to feel his arms around her once again. She had missed his body against hers. She wanted him to take her just like he did before.
"I am not sorry for kissing you." He continued. "I wanted to do it again.
He badly wished to lean over and touch her lips with his. To feel again what it was like to have her in his arms again. But he knew wishful thinking was far from reality.
"But I know I should not do it again. I should not have done it in the first place." Marcus defeatedly smiled at her while she remained silent.
From the way he was looking at her, he knew he could take her. He had her hypnotized by his charms, and she would willingly allow him to do whatever he wished.
However, once the spell was gone, she would eventually regret it. She would find herself in an awkward situation, blaming herself for being weak.
"Why?" She asked as if she was in a trance. It felt like it was just a dream. That nothing about what was happening was real. But she did not care. She wanted him. "What is stopping you?"
She had been denying her feelings for him for a long time, believing that she could move. She honestly tried. She almost thought she would succeed, with Sebastian, then with Lance.
Nonetheless, she still ended up alone. Not one of them came close to what she felt for Marcus. He was the only one who could drive her mad to the point that she was losing her mind.
"Because you are clearly with Lance now." He began, remembering seeing them together. "Then, you might regret this later on and hate me even more."
He had talked himself out of coming after her again, thinking that she would be better with someone like Lance. But how could he deny the strong pull he still felt for her.
"You think that I am with Lance." Something about what he said suddenly woke her up from her daze. It was like a cold pail of water was just dumped on her head, snapping her back to reality.
She swatted his hand away from his face and moved back away from him by a couple of feet. But her eyes never left his face as she watched his reaction.
"Yes, I saw you two at the party." He explained, then it dawned on him that he might have misinterpreted the situation. Based on her incredulous expression, she did not appreciate his assumption.
He ran his hand through his hair, feeling frustrated again. Maybe he was not thinking straight. His mind was, after all, deprived of rest and food. He just realized that he had forgotten all about dinner.
But he still kept his face focused on her.
"You saw me dance with Lance, smiled at his joke, then what, you add two and two, and you came up with ten." Her sassiness was back with a vengeance.
"Well, aren't you?" He was confused, but he believed he had jumped the gun. He probably screwed it up again with her without waiting for his response.
"Do you really think I will kiss you if I am involved with someone else?" She uttered in disbelief. "What do you think of me? I will never ever cheat on someone. I am not..."
She stopped before saying what she was about to say, suddenly feeling she had said enough. She did not intend to bring up the past. It had never been her intention.
"... like me." He finished the sentence for her. "I already said I am sorry about that. I was a dumbass for treating you that way. I regretted every day that I hurt you."
He dropped his head down, suddenly unable to look her in the eyes. This precisely was what he was talking about. His past actions would continuously hunt and bite him in the ass.
"But, it is not only me who was jumping to a conclusion. Just earlier, you were thinking that I might be in bed with another woman." He stated his conclusion to the statement she said when he found her at the door.
"No, I was..." She was about to deny it but swiftly changed her mind. "Fine. I am sorry, but can you blame me." She felt ashamed of her action, but she had a valid reason.
But then again, it was like a pot calling a kettle black, she thought. She also made her assumption without checking her facts. Now, she was more confused about her situation.
"No, I can't." He could only agree with her. She had a right to feel that way, anyway. "Anyway, if all you came here for was about the kiss. Then, I already answered your question."
He grabbed his glass and drank the remaining content, feeling the warmth of the liquid soothing his nerves. He believed the more he talked, the more his situation worsened.
It would seem like he was digging himself an early grave. It was time to end it while he had not reached the point of no return. He could do nothing more to remedy the situation.
"I guess I am done here. I am sorry for barging on you like this." She stood from her seat, not even touching the drink he offered.
Not that she was expecting anything would happen between the two of them. She had no plan of going back and reminiscing the past. She was done and had decided to move on.
At least, she had made it clear to him that he should not be kissing her whenever he felt like to. He already lost that right. Now, that should clarify things between them and end whatever she thought was still there.
"Jacky, for what it is worth. I am sorry for what I did. I only wish for you to be happy." He told her before she reached the door.
He could not keep fighting with her. It had to end sometime. He was hoping that they could finally move on after this. He was ready to let her go.
"I think I finally understand." She turned around before she could open the door. She smiled at him, finally ready to make peace with him.
When she learned she assumed wrong about him, she felt ashamed of her actions. She had been judging him ever since that night.
In truth, she had not seen him go out with another girl since then. She heard that he went on a date, but he never went beyond dinner. The date always ended without finishing in bed.
She knew this because Dani had told her things about him even when she was not asking. She believed it was an unconscious act on her part because Marcus was Alex's bestfriend. Marcus' name and life were bound to come up in their conversations.
Subconsciously, she might have forgiven him for what he did to her a long time ago, but her pride had prevented her from realizing it until now.
"What?" He asked, finally looking at her again. He had no idea what she was talking about.
"This." She walked back into the room.
Without another word, she sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Then, her lips landed on where it was supposed to be all this time.. It was like coming home.
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