The Mech Touch

"You are great company, and our design philosophies seem to match so well at first, yet..."

Ves hung his head low. The earlier footage was already damning enough. How could his meeting with Professor Oodiv of the MTA be leaked to Gloriana? There should be a law against that!

Still, no matter how much he protested, it wouldn’t change the fact that Gloriana had the wrong idea about him! When he spewed all of that nonsense about creating gods to the MTA, he merely wanted to fool them into believing he was a nutjob. He never wanted his date to witness him at his worst!

"...yet it’s even better. In fact, it’s almost perfect!"

"Please don’t misunderstand, Gloriana! I was not entirely myself at that moment." He tried to explain. "I’m not as extreme as I looked like during that meeting! I.. wait what?"

"I said it’s perfect!" Gloriana reiterated with a brilliant smile. "You sound so sincere and passionate of your ambitious beliefs that I have no doubt you expressed your true feelings at that moment!"

Ves blinked at the woman. "You are not.. repelled or anything?"

"Repelled? Why should I?" She look genuinely confused.

"Because of the wild stuff I said?"

"Oh, my goodness, Ves! I can see why you would think that way, but I am not like most mech designers. You see, much of the beliefs you express back then happens to resonate with my own."

"Uhh.." Ves became speechless.

"I’ve looked into the Ylvainan Faith and though I don’t agree with many of their tenets, there are some points that it shares in common with my own faith."

"You’re a believer?"

"I never told you that I wasn’t." Gloriana giggled in a happy manner. Her eyes practically curled with glee! "I suppose it’s time to come clean with you. I’m a proud follower of hexism!"

"...Hexism? You mean the not-quite-state religion of the Hexadric Hegemony? But that would mean..." His eyes widened even further. "You’re a Hexer!"

"You guessed it! The Wodin Dynasty may not be one of the matriarchal dynasties, but we are loyal vassals to one. To be more precise, we are strongly aligned with the Evern Dynasty, who are the foremost proponents of hexism!"

Ves had heard a bit about hexism. Although the Hexadric Hegemony wasn’t entirely religious, many citizens believed in this strange and very eccentric faith.

Perhaps one of their most famous habits was that they worshipped the number six! They liked to be ruled by six matriarchs. They liked to deploy their mechs in half-squads of six, and their larger mech units ultimately consisted of multiples of six!

Their worship of the number six extended to other areas!

For example, they preferred to eat six smaller cookies instead of two bigger bigger. They liked to wear shirts with six buttons. They liked to round out the prices of their products with the number six!

While they didn’t insist that everything should conform to the number six, the more, the better!

And this was only the least of what it meant to believe in the religion or philosophy of hexism!

"Since you’re familiar with hexism, you should know what we believe about the afterlife." Gloriana remarked. "We believe that life and afterlife are two sides of the same coin! We believe that humans have the potential to become equals to gods, and that gods are nothing different from empowered humans. While we are not as enthusiastic about the Ylvainan notion that the same applies to aliens, other than that there is a lot of overlap between our beliefs! Isn’t that great, Bright Martyr?"

Ves felt like puking. "I never approved of that nickname. I’m a Brighter!"

"You don’t have to be modest, Ves." Gloriana leaned forward and placed her hand on his arm. "You don’t have to hide that you are special and that you carry a great purpose. Ever since I listened to that recording, I became convinced that you are the mech designer that I have long been waiting for. Your design philosophy is so radical and extreme that my heart has never felt any hotter. You are perfect!"

It was only now that Ves realized why he ended up in this absurd situation. It was because of Callisto’s sophisticated matchmaking process! Irene claimed that Callisto drew from the records of the MTA to help them find a suitable match.

Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem, because no mech designer would be stupid to be dishonest in front of the MTA. Normally, their records on mech designers were very accurate.

The only exception was his own record! Professor Oodiv probably described him as a superstitious, delusional mech designer in his record. Perhaps the Senior had outright judged that he was a religious nut!

Ves thought that would be the end of the matter, but he overlooked a very important detail.

Callisto Professional Relations tried to match him with another mech designer by taking his record into account!

Who paired best with a religious nut?

Another religious nut!

Although their beliefs didn’t entirely match with each other, Callisto probably judged that they could reconcile their differences. Obviously, their sophisticated matchmaking AIs and highly-experienced experts all thought highly of their pairing!

Yet it was all a lie! Gloriana was anything but a perfect match to Ves! The cold, hard truth was that she was compatible with a mistaken impression of him! It was all based on a lie!

"I’m not a follower of hexism. I don’t think I’ll ever convert to your beliefs."

"That’s fine, Ves. Hexism isn’t as strict as the Ylvainan Faith when it comes to demanding piety! Just acting in the interests of our philosophies is sufficient! Let it not be said that we are narrow-minded!"

This was starting to creep Ves out! He firmly tried to jerk his arm away from Gloriana’s grasp, but her fingers began to dig into his skin. She didn’t want to let go!

"Could you let go, please?"

She ignored his request! "Your design philosophy is perfect! Although I had to adjust some of my beliefs, I’m fully taken in by your ambition to elevate mechs into gods! In fact, I believe that the mech pilots who use your mechs will be raised into gods as well! Isn’t that what symbiosis implies? With my assistance, your design philosophy stands a much greater chance of being realized! The mechs we design together will be so perfect that they will eventually become indistinguishable from real gods!"

"Please, Miss Wodin. This is all a horrible misunderstanding! I’m a secularist. You shouldn’t take some of the stuff I’ve said so seriously."

Gloriana’s eyes sparkled at him as if he was her soulmate! "You don’t have to pretend with me, Ves. And don’t call me Miss Wodin. My name is Gloriana. I love nothing more than to hear you say my name. Only few men ever get to call me that, and you are definitely one of them! You should feel honored!"

Ves tried to lean away but Gloriana firmly kept hold. Although Ves could have used a bit more force to separate himself from the woman, he really didn’t want to offend a Hexer!

"Gloriana, you’re an esteemed citizen of a second-rate state. Why would you waste your time with a pathetic third-rater like me? The gulf between us is too wide! I could never match your worth!"

The woman briefly frowned. "That’s not a problem. The Wodin Dynasty will accept my betrothal to you if I have anything to say about it. As a promising mech designer, my word will be heard. Besides, despite your humble origins, your family isn’t too bad either. You don’t need to put yourself down. You’re a Journeyman! Have some pride!"

"Erm, but you’re still a Hexer. Don’t you people believe that women should be in charge? I don’t think I can feel comfortable in your company."

"Ves, Ves, Ves. While it’s true that I’m a Hexer, I think it is you who are misunderstanding something. Just because I agree that women are the superior doesn’t mean that men should be treated like dirt! Goodness, no! Like boys, men need our protection! Don’t worry, Ves. Once I’m in your life, I will make sure to protect you like any proper woman ought to do! That is what being a Hexer truly means!"

Was Ves some kind of baby who needed to be breastfed or something? This was ridiculous! If nothing else, it should be the men who were required to proclaim they would protect their lovers!

"I don’t think we’ll be a good couple. Just look at our cats! They’re practically about to claw each other’s faces!"

Both Ves and Gloriana directed their gazes to their cats.

"Meow~"

"Miaow~"

Different from what Ves expected, Lucky and Clixie hadn’t drawn out their claws. Instead of looking like they were about to fight, they were instead pressing against each other! Clixie comfortably purred while Lucky groomed the Rubarthan Sentinel Cat by licking the top of her head!

"...That wasn’t according to the script." Ves belatedly said.

"Hihihi! They’re so cute!" Gloriana giggled. "Cats always need some time to grow familiar with each other. Both Lucky and Clixie are smart, so it’s no surprise that they’ve come to like each other! In fact, if Lucky wasn’t mechanical, I’d even allow him to breed with Clixie!"

"What a shame." Ves replied flatly. "Even if Lucky and Clixie have gotten along, that is no indicator that our relationship can be just as good. We’re too different!"

"I don’t think so." Gloriana stubbornly shook her head. "I think there’s hardly any mech designer who’s more compatible to me than you, Ves. The moment Callisto called me up was the moment I knew that I would no longer be alone. Now that I’ve met you in the flesh, I’m pleasantly surprised. You’re charming, handsome, honorable, daring and brilliant! Not only that, but both our pets and our design philosophies go well with each other!"

"I am flattered by your praise, but to be honest I don’t identify with your description. I’m not a good person. I’ve got blood on my hands. I’m a liar, swindler and a cheat! I’m selfish and a coward! I’m one of the most deplorable mech designers in the galaxy!"

"Ves!" Gloriana harshly admonished him. "If this is your attempt to make me pity you, then you should cut it out. There’s no need to belittle yourself. I know you’re a wonderful mech designer. Everything I’ve said about you is definitely true! Please believe me when I say that you are perfect as you are right now. If there are any difficulties between us, I’m sure we can work it out!"

Okay, Ves was getting increasingly more disturbed by Gloriana. She was a complete nutjob! The longer he stayed in her presence, the more he feared for his sanity!

Although Ves really didn’t want to be too forceful, he no longer cared about that. He gripped her hand which clung tightly on his other hand and pried it away.

"I’m glad you think so well of me, but can you wait for a minute? I need to visit the bathroom for a moment. Can I have some time alone?"

"Oh. Sure. I’ll be awaiting your return." Gloriana smiled.

Ves tried to maintain his calm. He casually rose from his seat and maintained a brittle smile on his face. He crept over to Lucky and picked up his contented cat.

The traitor had been cuddling with Clixie!

"Meow?!"

"I’ll be taking Lucky with me as well. You don’t want him to treat the floor as his litterbox. Not only does his waste products smell, but they’re also radioactive!"

"Meow!"

Lucky objected to that description!

Ves didn’t care whether Gloriana bought his excuse. He pressed Lucky against his chest and hastily jogged out of the balcony.

Once he went out of sight, he broke out in a run! He passed right by the entrance of the men’s restroom and ran straight down the stairs and to the exit of the cafe!

As soon as he emerged outside, he jumped out of the floating building and practically fell to the ground! Only when he fell halfway did he engage his smart clothing’s antigrav module.

"I need to get out of here!" He panicked. "The sooner I’m rid of Gloriana, the better!"

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