Sarah wept and went to her brother.
“Sorry. He died because of me. He died because of me. Sorry.”
She reached out her hand to her brother’s face. She could feel his cold skin on her fingers.
While lifting his face a little, Sarah said,
“It is fine. Everything is alright.”
Even though she had tears, she smiled brightly, wanting to reassure her brother a little.
“It wasn’t because of Brother that he died. Dad bet his future and hopes on you.”
“Sorry. He died because of me. He…”
“What would Father be feeling from heaven if he saw you like this? The only person who can protect the happiness and peace of our family is Brother. So, do not beat yourself up.”
“Sorry. He died because of me.”
However, Sarah’s words weren’t reaching Jamie. It seemed impossible to pull him out of the self-created abyss.
Sarah couldn’t figure out how to wake her brother up.
“Get yourself together, Brother!”
She tried grabbing his shoulder and shaking him roughly, but he only shook like a paper doll. She raised the power of life and pushed it into Jamie.
She thought that with that, there might be some change in him, but there was no response.
Sarah’s heart ached.
“This is not your fault! It wasn’t your fault!”
“…”
“Even if it is your fault, how long will you stay like this? Do you want to be a monster and live like this without another thought?”
“Sorry.”
“Do you want to forget everything and stay like this?!”
“He died because of me.”
“What about those left behind?!”
“Sorry. He died because….”
“Mom is waiting!!”
At that moment, for the first time, Jamie looked up at Sarah’s face.
“Mo…m.”
No matter what she did, her brother, who didn’t react, had finally reacted because of ‘mom.’
Sarah’s emotions were running wild, but more than that, she hoped that her brother would get out of this cage he had built.
“Yes. Mom. Mom is waiting. She is so worried for Brother.”
“Mom is…”
“Let us go back together. While drinking the tea that she brews, just like in the old days. Reading books together in the garden and listening to funny old stories. Just like that, let us all stay that way, okay?”
“Mom is waiting.”
“Right. Mom is waiting. She is always waiting for her one and only son.”
“But he died because of me.”
Again, Jamie’s head fell, and Sarah pulled him by the collar.
“That is why you need to stay by Mother’s side even more!”
“I…!”
“You are the eldest child. The son. Come with me to see Mom. Show that face to Mom.”
“Father, I…”
“For the sake of Dad… Let’s go, please…”
Sarah buried her face in Jamie’s chest and cried.
“What would he say if he saw you like this… Why, why are you acting like this, stupid… Family is about being together when things get tough. We are stronger when we are together….”
“Family.”
“Yes. Family, me, Brother, Mom, and Dad. We are a family. And a family should be with one another when times get difficult. But Brother, why did you have to do….”
“I am here….”
Jamie looked up.
A tear fell from his eye.
“I…”
Father was dead.
At the moment when they won the war against Zenith and the allied forces came closer, he was careless, and Father died to protect his foolish self.
If he had been more careful, if he had known the enemy had something planned, Father wouldn’t have died.
It was all because he was foolish.
He was foolish, so he watched his family die in front of him. The man who sacrificed his life to protect his son.
And his son was left devastated. He was pathetic and hated himself.
Why did he let his father die?
Who was the killer?
‘It is me.’
He died because of me.
I am sorry, Father.
You died because of me.
If I had been a little more aware and prepared for all kinds of situations, that wouldn’t have happened.
No one would have died.
Even now, our family of four would have been sitting together, having a meal or tea time, and laughing loudly.
The one who destroyed that peace was none other than me.
Jamie Welton.
‘Sorry. He died because of me.’
Let’s get revenge.
But on whom?
It was I who killed my Father, though?
My father died because I was too stupid and careless, so who do I get revenge on?
Right. Let’s get revenge.
On myself.
What is the king of mankind, what is the guardian, and what is the enemy?
‘I am just trash.’
A trash who couldn’t protect the ones closest to me, both in the past and now.
Nothing could be protected.
There is nothing I can do.
It is better not to have someone like me.
‘… Really? Really?’
The things I need to protect. The things I promised to protect.
Family.
And I couldn’t protect my father. I already failed in that part.
Is there anything left for me to protect now?
Mom and Sarah.
Who would protect them?
If not me… Who would protect them?
‘I couldn’t protect Father, though.’
Then will I give everything up?
If I couldn’t protect Father, then I would have to protect everyone else. If I would just let go of their hands and turn into an emotionless being, how would that be different from the past?
‘But I do not have the confidence.’
Just run away for the rest of your life like a coward.
‘Coward…..’
A coward who gets scared and tries to run away when there is work to be done.
That is you, Jamie Welton.
Right.
I cannot do anything.
No, not a single thing.
I can run away.
And live like that for the rest of my life.
Hiding all by myself, belittling myself, and living like a bug.
‘I am not a bug! I am…!’
The one who would save mankind from the hands of the 12 Gods! Who was the one who spoke such words and then ran away because he couldn’t protect his family?
A liar, a betrayer, and a coward.
Accept it now.
A human like me.
“…”
Isn’t the hero who would save the world.
So struggle.
Even cowards struggle.
Even if you are a betrayer, you have to struggle to be the winner in the end. Even if you lie, it is to save the world!
Use your bug-like mind and make what you want real!
Do you want to end up as trash? Do you want to live like a bug until the end?
“I don’t want to. I don’t want to see someone die in front of my eyes like Father again.”
Then there is only one thing that I, Jamie Welton, have to do.
Get up.
“Stand up.”
Right. Even if a crisis arises again and even if I cannot stop it any longer.
I need to get up.
Run for a while now, be a coward, and even lie about it.
But the one thing you can never do is…
“If you give up, then everything ends.”
Now, the world was reaching its climax.
Sarah is crying.
Mom is waiting.
My family is still there.
“Right. I still have a family.”
He couldn’t stay like this forever.
A voice from within him set his broken spirit back together.
The biggest reason that happened….
Jamie looked at his sister, who looked hazy. He saw her weeping in his arms.
Thanks to this child coming this far, he could move forward.
It could happen.
“Brother, get your mind straight. Please….”
Sarah clung to Jamie’s arms, who sat blankly without a word. Even when he reacted to the word ‘Mother,’ she thought something had changed, but seeing that he hadn’t spoken any other word after, she thought his condition worsened.
“Please wake up. Wake up now… Uh?”
Sarah, who was buried in his arms, raised her head full of tears and a runny nose when her brother suddenly got up.
“Brother?”
Sarah was shocked at this. Until now, her brother looked dead.
Sarah, wondering if he had a change of heart, slightly got up and looked at her brother. His eyes were still dark and hollow.
But she felt something change a little, and right then…
“Sarah.”
Jamie called out her name for the first time. Sarah looked at her brother with shocked eyes.
His sunken eyes were turning normal, and he smiled.
“I am here.”
Sarah looked at him.
“Brother….”
And she cried her eyes out.
“You bastard!”
And a tightly clenched fist hit Jamie in the face.
“Kuak!”
Jamie, who was hit, flew in the air and landed on the ground. It was such a sudden punch that he couldn’t react.
No, it was so fast that he couldn’t even react to it if he had noticed it.
‘When did Sarah get this strong…’
His little sister, who was so small and delicate, had just blown him away with a single punch.
How should he accept this?
But the problem wasn’t the punch.
Jamie looked at Sarah as he rubbed his hand over his face. She seemed angry, like she wanted him to burn.
“S-Sorry.”
Jamie immediately apologized. If not, he was sure there would be another hit.
‘I’d be happy if you could, but it hurts a lot more than I thought.’
Maybe his jawbone would crack this time.
Sarah glared at her brother and then sighed. It felt like she would hit him one more time.
Jamie looked into her eyes and got up.
Should he dodge it?
‘That won’t do.’
He made a mistake, and there was nothing he could say, even if she beat him to death.
Sarah asked Jamie with her eyes. And it felt more frightening.
“Are you really my brother?”
Was it right for her to hit him and then just ask him that now?
Jamie wanted to ask that, but he nodded instead, thinking he would get hit again.
“Huh. You are right.”
“You really are my brother.”
Sarah clenched her fist. It looked like she was going to hit him again.
Jamie closed his eyes tightly. But the fist didn’t come.
Instead, he opened his eyes at the feeling of Sarah in his arms.
“Thank goodness. Really… I am happy.”
“Sarah.”
“I was so scared when I realized Brother was gone. I no longer have Father, and if Brother is gone, how will Mom and I live alone… Really… I am glad.”
“Sorry. I am really sorry.”
Jamie realized what he had done wrong to Sarah. And it wasn’t just her.
He didn’t even support his mother.
Buried in guilt, he distanced himself from his family. That wasn’t just enough, so he threw his emotions away and even did something he shouldn’t have done.
He felt so sorry that even saying sorry felt like it was a lie. But all he could do was apologize.
Jamie covered Sarah’s face with both of his hands and asked for forgiveness.
“It will never happen again. Will you forgive Brother?”
“No.”
Sarah refused to forgive him, and Jamie was shocked.
“I think I will have to hit you one more time to do that.”
“Huh.”
And she clenched her fist and struck Jamie in the stomach. Looking at her brother, who was slumped on the ground, Sarah said,
“I can forgive you now.”
Her expression looked calm.
And Jamie mumbled with a forced laugh,
“T-Thank goodness.”
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