The Beautiful Monster

"We'll see," Elias replied before winking at her.

Alyssa looked back down at her book as she smiled to herself. She had really been trying hard to split up her time lately.

She studied by herself most of the time, but she allowed some study sessions with Elias and Zoe too. It made studying way more fun.

"I'm so glad that break is soon. I'm running on empty at this point," Zoe sighed as she leaned back in her wooden chair.

Alyssa nodded her agreement. Her plans for Thanksgiving break were still up in the air at this point.

She had to let her resident assistant know by tomorrow if she was staying at the dorm or not for break.

"Christmas break will be better. Nothing to study for," she pointed out.

Thanksgiving break was so short, and it was right before exams. The timing was off for her. She would rather plow through her exams, and then enjoy Thanksgiving break and Christmas break combined instead of separated by a week.

Zoe scoffed.

"Like I'm gonna be studying while stuffing my face," she said.

Elias chuckled as he listened to them.

"Don't eat yourself into a food coma," he warned her.

"Maybe I won't have to take my exams then," Zoe pointed out with a shrug. "My dad cooks the best turkey. I'm so ready to eat a home-cooked meal not made by me."

Elias nodded his agreement.

"My family cooks enough to feed a village," he replies.

Zoe then nudged Alyssa.

"What's Thanksgiving usually like with your family?" she asked.

Alyssa's smile wavered at the question. Her eyes shifted over to Elias, who gave her a comforting smile. He knew that it would be hard for her to answer this question.

If regular days were awful with her family, then he knew how rocky holidays were.

All that she could think about was all of the fights and awkward silences at the dinner table. Any happy moment was always ruined by some snide comment or back-handed compliment.

She hated holidays. Her mom would always make her help cook, but she would turn around and get angry at Alyssa for messing something up. Then, her dad would get mad at her too.

It was a never ending cycle of fighting, but Alyssa couldn't help but feel a little jealous hearing about Zoe and Elias' holidays with their families. She wanted normal holidays with her family.

She wanted to look forward to going home and spending time with her parents. Why did she have to draw such a bad card? It wasn't fair.

She wondered if she tried to put in a little more effort that things might change. Maybe her parents would try to be nicer too. Maybe they could just tolerate each other.

That was as close to normal as her family could get. She would take that so that she didn't have to spend holidays alone and sad, while her friends got to have a good time with their families.

"Alyssa?" Zoe's voice broke through Alyssa's thoughts.

"Oh… it's fine. Kind of boring," Alyssa replied with a shrug. She loved Zoe, but she didn't want to get into her family stuff with her. She only felt comfortable talking to Elias about it.

Maybe one day she would tell Zoe, but that would have to be later when she felt more comfortable opening up more about her family.

It was a heavy topic for her to talk about. She had a feeling that it always would be. So much of her anxiety and insecurities came from her parents and how they treated her.

It was something she couldn't ignore, but she was trying to move past it. She wanted to grow from her pain.

"Oh, maybe you'll have a better Thanksgiving this year," Zoe said with a bright smile. She nudged Alyssa playfully before flipping the page of her textbook to continue studying.

Alyssa looked over at Elias, sharing a quiet look with him before going back to normal. There was no need to dwell on the holiday now. She could figure out what she wanted to do after they finished studying.

"I'll miss you guys over break. It'll be the longest period of time we've ever been away from each other," Alyssa told them as she looked between them. Here, they were her family.

They gave her all the comfort and support that she needed to get through the days. She wished that they could spend the holidays together, but she knew that their families came first. Hers never did because they never put her first.

Elias smiled at her as he reached across the table to hold her hand.

"We'll be back together before you know it," he assured her.

"I'm not going to be that cheesy, but I'll miss you lovebirds too," Zoe smirked.

Alyssa would take that. She wrapped her other arm around Zoe's shoulders, drawing her close in a half hug. She really hoped that they still got to see each other next semester.

They were going to try to get classes together, but they would still try to hang out if that didn't work out. Alyssa couldn't imagine drifting apart from either of them.

"We'll have to have a get together before Christmas break," Alyssa told them. She was sure that they'd be apart for Christmas break too, which was about a month long.

She wanted a proper goodbye with them before they finally saw each other next semester.

"We can drink and bake cookies!" Zoe said excitedly.

"Why do all of your plans involve alcohol?" Elias smirked.

Zoe shrugged.

"Easiest way to have fun doing anything," she pointed out before tossing her hair behind her shoulder.

"Well, alcohol or not, I want to do it," Alyssa replied. She wasn't a big drinker, but she could stand a drink or two to celebrate. She knew that Elias was there to watch her if things started to spiral too.

"I'll find a spiked eggnog recipe," Zoe said.

"I'll cook something," Elias said.

Alyssa clasped her hands together eagerly.

"I can't wait," she said. She couldn't remember if she had ever had a good Christmas celebration.

There was always drama or awkwardness. It would be nice to finally feel the holiday spirit, and what better way to celebrate than with the people closest to her?

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