The Beautiful Monster

"I hope. Like, I feel a little bad because they're family, but they've never acted like it," she sighed. She wished that things were different.

She wanted to love her family, but they made it so hard for her to. How could she love someone who disrespected her and didn't care about her?

Elias nodded his understanding.

"It's kind of hardwired in us to love and accept our family, even if they don't deserve it. It's a flaw," he said.

Alyssa was glad he understood. She couldn't stand when people claimed that family was the most important thing in life, that they couldn't do any wrong. She didn't want to feel expected to forgive every bad thing her parents did to her. They were only family by blood.

"Right? Family can hurt you so badly. It's not fair that it's not encouraged to cut just them off when they do. We're supposed to look past it or forgive them just because they're family. If it was anyone else, we could walk away from them," Alyssa said, feeling her anger start to ebb away.

She had never ranted like this to someone before. She didn't like being so negative, but it did feel good to get the words out of her head.

She felt lighter, freer. She should've never expected herself to bottle all of these things up forever. They would destroy her from the inside.

"Is anything really connecting you to them? Can't you cut them off?" Elias asked her.

Alyssa's shoulders dropped a little. Unfortunately, there were some ties. She was trying to figure out how to cut them, but it was hard to as a full-time college student.

She could only support herself on her own so much.

"Health insurance. I live there during the summer because I haven't gotten my own place off campus yet," Alyssa explained. She couldn't afford either of them right now, and she wasn't sure when she would be able to.

Elias frowned as he nodded.

"At least summer is short," he pointed out.

Alyssa cracked a small smile. He wasn't wrong. Summer usually flew by, especially since she busied herself with work.

She didn't like going home and arguing about something new with her parents, though. She preferred being at work, even if it was tiring and hot.

"I like being here," she admitted. College felt like a safe space for her. She didn't have to walk on eggshells or expect to be yelled at for any little thing that she did wrong.

Her parents could only get in contact with her if they called or showed up on campus for some reason.

"Me too. It's an escape," Elias agreed as he gazed around the busy campus. People rushed from class to class. Some chatted with friends in the shade or on benches. It was a whole other life here.

"You like to escape from your family too?" Alyssa asked him. She was curious about his family. He didn't speak about them much, but she could tell that he was trying to distance himself from them. Something was going on between them. She was familiar with family drama.

Elias shrugged.

"I love them, and I know they want the best for me. We just don't see eye-to-eye on some things," Elias said.

"They're helicopter parents?" Alyssa questioned. It sounded like they made decisions for him, even if he didn't agree with them.

She could somewhat relate to that. Her parents tried to push her in directions that she wasn't interested in going in. All they cared about was themselves and what they wanted. They couldn't care less about her dreams.

"A bit. They want me to be successful. In a certain way," Elias explained.

"But you want to go about it a different way," Alyssa replied. She figured as much. He needed to pull away so that he could fully spread his wings.

He didn't deserve to be trapped in a small place when he was meant for so much more and so much bigger.

"They didn't even want me to go to college. They thought it would put distance between us," Elias said.

"It seems like it has," Alyssa pointed out. He was trying to move out. If there were no issues with his family, he would've stayed with them. It would've been cheaper and easier than trying to get a place on his own. 

Apartments were ridiculously expensive, and the requirements to even qualify for one were atrocious.

She hoped that she could find a good roommate when she made the leap from the dorm to an apartment.

Elias drifted his fingers through his hair, drawing the dark strands back from his face.

"Yeah, it has. I can just picture more for my own life now," he replied.

"Good. You should. No one can dictate your life but yourself," Alyssa said as she brushed her arm against his.

They weren't their parents. They could be anyone they wanted to be. She held onto that belief and let it drive her forward because the last thing that she wanted to do was to move backward.

Elias slowed his steps to an eventual stop. He turned to Alyssa with a smile.

"I'm supposed to be the one consoling you," he chuckled.

Alyssa shrugged as she laughed. She liked being able to help him out too. She didn't want him to always have to make her feel better.

The last thing that she wanted to be was a weight on her friends. She wanted to offer more than she took from them.

"That's what friends are for, right?" she replied. She was glad that they were friends, but she couldn't help but wish that they were more.

She wanted to get closer, but she was afraid of being pushed away. She had already experienced that so much throughout her life.

"Right," Elias said warmly. He held her gaze for a few moments, merely looking into her eyes. No words. No interruptions.

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