Chapter 270: I Want You (2)
After about a minute of silence, Shizu-senpai replied to what I said, "… I told you my thoughts about that."
"And I decided to respect it. You shouldn't sell yourself short by trying to reward me. I'm helping you on my own volition, senpai." I let go of her hand when it stopped trembling and went to pick up the papers she already finished working on earlier to organize it. "This is for the Cultural Festival, right. Why are you already working on this?"
At first, she was troubled at how to answer me but when I abruptly changed the topic to the work she was doing, Shizu-senpai fixed her glasses and the way she was seated before replying to my inquiry. "It's always better to be prepared. Besides I'm just tallying the empty rooms so we could rent it to those who will need more than just their classrooms or clubrooms."
"I see." I tersely answered.
Although I'm interested in what she's working on for the Literature Club, I only asked that to clear the somewhat awkward air which built up. I don't want to pressure her but that still ended up happening.
After that, silence once again reigned in the room. Aside from the sound of the pen as it danced on the paper or the sound of the stacked papers as I tried to cleanly organize it in piles, Shizu-senpai and I worked together efficiently.
Not even half an hour later, I picked the last paper from her table and put it in the category where it needs to be. Once I'm done with that, I picked her now empty cup and went to the side where the leftover tea was located. I heated it again before pouring another cup for her.
All those times, the silence continued. However, I could feel her heated gaze on my back. When I turned around to face her, she instantly turned her gaze away. The girl didn't have a lot of experience and her acting oblivious didn't have that much convincing power. Only the super dense ones would think that she's acting normally.
"Are you leaving?" Shizu-senpai silently asked after picking the teacup.
Upon hearing her question, I stopped my hand that was about to pick up my teacup and turned my head to her. She's still at her seat while I'm seated on the chair nearest to her around the long table. "We finished earlier than I expected. It depends if you don't want my company anymore."
Why am I pushing her to make the choice? I don't know. I guess I'm also a little frustrated myself. But this is what I decided to do when it comes to her or Arisa-senpai.
"Do you really want to make it this hard for me?"
"What do you mean?"
"You said you want me but you're not doing anything else. You're not like this to others, am I right? Then why do this to me?" Shizu-senpai asked. Her voice was a little higher than normal which speaks of what she's feeling right now. Frustration.
I guess I'm really making it hard for her. But as long as she stood by what she wanted, I will have to draw this line. I know there are other ways to change her mind but specifically for her, I want to do this kind of approach.
"Because you are precious to Nami, senpai. It's true that she's the one who first brought up the idea of making you mine as well but I only decided to do so upon truly falling for you. Also, if I did succeed, even if she's the one who brought it up, she will feel something, maybe slight jealousy. There's no way she won't. That's why… I will not force it on you or go at it slowly by taking up the rewards you're offering."
Though Nami appeared to be looking forward to Shizu-senpai's change, that girl will surely find it awkward when at some point I will hold both of them.
Shizu-senpai stood up from her seat and walked towards the long table. Compared to last time, she's the one who picked up a chair this time and put it close to mine. Only when she settled her back on it did she open her mouth without looking at me. "… What if I just want to spend time with you? Like this. You know that only with you can I take off my mask and be my real self."
"Then it's fine. You're Nami's precious sister, senpai. I will treat you well. Besides, isn't my official title President's Secretary? My time here is all devoted to you. Unless I get your permission, I will not leave ahead of the appointed time."
In fact, the two days of secretary work I'm doing for her can probably be seen as something truly special by the other girls. I can't stay that long with Kana or Rae. Even visiting Haruko and Himeko is too limited. And even if we're all in the same class, Satsuki, Aya and Nami cannot show our relationship to others.
In here, within an hour or two, I can be with her alone, without any other girls who can take my focus away from her.
"Onoda-kun."
"What is it, senpai?"
After deliberating for a while, Shizu-senpai posed a question. "Can I not wish for a normal relationship?"
"You can. I'm not holding you to anything. However, can you put that on hold while I'm still helping you? Even if I can't get you to be mine, I don't want to see you getting together with any other guy in front of me…"
If I see someone getting close to her, I might not be able to restrain myself and go back to old ways. That's why it's better not to see it. When we finally achieved the goal of her gaining the confidence to be the real her and she still stood at what she decided, I will give up… That's still ways off in the future so I still have a lot of time to make her change her mind.
"You're really cruel, Onoda-kun. Is it not obvious yet?"
"It is… But I cannot be in a normal relationship. You see. Yesterday, I met nine girls who I hurt in the past and I managed to reconnect with them. I took them all in."
Of course, it's already too obvious. At some point, Shizu-senpai started to get drawn towards me. I'm just not sure at what level her like towards me is currently. She wished for a normal relationship with me. Something I couldn't give even to Akane.
Upon fully understanding what I just said, Shizu-senpai dropped the teacup to the table with slight agitation. "N-nine?!"
That reaction… Satsuki, Aya, Nami and Hina also had that reaction when they found out that it's not just one or two but nine girls. Good thing that they can just directly ask for details in that group. When I passed by the Literature Club, I also had Kana and Rae join the group by asking Aya to invite them. Himeko was invited by Haruko herself so she's also privy to what happened yesterday.
"Yes. I also have girls from another school. It's not just the ones you managed to discover here. I'm far from normal." I nodded and downed the tea from my cup. With a slight smile on my face, I admitted to it without denying anything.
Even if she knew, Shizu-senpai would not tell it to anyone else. And even if she did, It will be an impossible-to-believe story that will lead to her being called out as someone making things up.
"Then why are you wasting your time with me?"
I reached for her hand and held onto it. She didn't resist at all and even opened her palm to let our fingers fit at each other's gaps. This is the reward she was giving earlier but this time, it's not a reward but just a normal interaction between us.
With her reading glasses still on, her cheeks turned scarlet. Seeing her like this, that pair of reading glasses added more charm to her and it sets her apart from Nami.
"I already answered that, senpai. Also, let's change the subject, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."
"N-no. Let's not change the subject, Onoda-kun. Tell me the things I don't know yet. I want to know everything about you. Don't leave out any details." With her hand tightening its grip on mine, Shizu-senpai's slightly faltering voice conveyed what she wanted at the moment. Everything she knew about me was what I showed and what she managed to observe from me.
Just like with Nami, she now wanted to know everything about me. But will the result be the same?
"It's not a great story to be told. You'll hate me."
"I will be the judge of that. Perhaps, through this I will be able to decide properly on what to do about you and me…" Shizu-senpai shook her head and stared at me with her eyes glittering because of her determination and conviction to hear about it at this moment.
I stared back at her and slowly, my free hand went to her cheek, feeling the warmth of it in my palm.
"I see. Then let me pour another cup for you. This will be long, senpai.
With a sigh, I let go of her cheeks and reached for the teapot to refill my cup and hers.
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