Chapter 256: Series of Realization
Realizing things like this, I guess this could be considered as growth. When I told Ririka about it, she was more than happy and even offered to let me remember more of our past to solidify that truth which I just realized.
I accepted it but with the limited time we had today, I told her that we could continue it next time or in Messenger. Though she felt a little sad about it, Ririka nodded and called the next girl.
Like with Yukari and Elizabeth, I had her choose who will be next. It is better this way rather than I picked them myself. They might think that the order of who I talked to was an order of priority. Even if I said that everyone's equal when it comes to how much I like them, those kinds of notions were unavoidable.
A minute later, I could hear someone's heavy footsteps approaching the room. Just from that, I already guessed who's next.
When the door opened, I raised my arm and waved at the newcomer.
"Mizuki, you still haven't changed that habit of walking with heavy footsteps."
Upon hearing my words, the girl glared at me and promptly closed the door behind her.
"You're already used to it that you could recognize it even from a distance. It's fine like this. At least, this way, I know you wouldn't forget about me."
She walked towards me and sat at the table like a prim and proper lady she is while tapping the space beside her, wordlessly telling me to sit with her.
Since that's what she wanted, I sat next to her. And when I did, her head instantly rested itself on my shoulder. This girl's way of showing how she missed me is always this unique. She wouldn't voice it out. Instead, she would be a bit commanding like this before softening up either resting her head on my shoulder or using my lap as her pillow.
"Now that I took you back, there's no way I will forget about you again, you know? Didn't I tell you through our conversations on Messenger?"
Among the eight of them, Mizuki seldom talked to me but when she did, she would have a bunch of topics that wouldn't end in just an hour or two. Good thing, she would always time it when I was a bit free as if she already knew my schedule.
There's even one night when Akane noticed my phone lighting up when we're about to sleep after doing a round in bed. When I showed it to her, she waved her hand and let me reply to Mizuki but she kept clinging to me until she fell asleep. A show of her slight jealousy.
"You already forgot me once that's why I wouldn't gamble on it again... Do you still remember? That day when you told me upfront how you wanted to steal me from that boy… I noticed how you watched me for days before pulling up that stunt."
Mizuki lifted her head and stared at me. Her hand crept up from my chest to my shoulder. To answer that, my hand also moved to her waist, grasping it lightly.
"I remember and you already told me that when I successfully stole you, right?"
"Yes. But you never asked for the reason why I let you try to steal me."
The reason, eh? I never really thought about it back then, since she already agreed to let me attempt it. I already cast off any unnecessary thoughts.
Well, unlike with the others where I didn't ask for permission, that wouldn't work with this girl. She's too headstrong for her own good after all. She always wanted to be the one at an advantage. That's why she picked someone subservient to her to become her shield by giving him the title of her boyfriend.
"Will you tell me the reason today? Or should I guess?"
"We have limited time. It will just be wasted if I let you guess about it… I also planned to make you as another shield of mine. However, that backfired on me."
Another shield, eh? When I started my conquest on her, she really did try to use me to fend off some of the guys and a few girls who wanted to approach her.
"I see. I think I did that role perfectly even without noticing that kind of intention from you."
"You did… And unlike the boy, you never stopped trying to make me look at you as more than just that."
"That's normal. I'm true to my words. Once I targeted you, I won't stop at nothing until I get you."
Because of her nature of trying to become always on top, I did something that could be said as despicable. I drugged her during one of our study sessions. I put a mild aphrodisiac on her tea.
However, I didn't do anything to her and instead, took care of her as if she was hit by the flu. Since it's a mild one, the effect isn't that strong. I think that event was what pushed me one step further on my conquest to get her for myself.
To add details on that, her boyfriend was there. But he only watched as I took care of his girlfriend in front of him. Well, he's somewhat spineless and he knew that he's just being used by her.
That guy was probably even cheering for me to take his place. But yeah, that never happened. I could only satisfy my desire if there's another guy in their life back then after all. If there's none, my interest would die down instantly.
"I never loved that guy. He's just a tool and you know that."
"That didn't matter to me. My mind was twisted after all. The real goal was you. To hold you, to kiss you, to bed you and take your everything while you're still tied to another guy."
That's how it always is. But this girl, why are we talking about this again? Is she trying to let me realize something? This time she's deliberately trying to do it. Unlike with Ririka where I reached that point of realization by recollecting the things that I did to get her.
"At this point, you're still denying that you just wanted my affection."
"Is it really like that?"
Am I really denying it? If I looked at it with the same outlook I have right now…
... She's right. Stealing her from someone who she didn't share any affection with was quite pointless. I used that as an excuse.
And she probably noticed all of that when I told her the whole truth after I successfully stole her. I thought she just accepted it calmly as if it didn't matter to her… However, the truth was she had seen through me thoroughly.
At that time, I already got her full affection.
"Yes, it is. Tell me, Ruki. You call that stealing but all that you did was to make me fall for you. You made me change my mind about that subject. I thought love was an unnecessary feeling. I could reach my goal of lifting my standing in the society by marrying someone influential and someone I could control in the future."
Mizuki's hand tightened her grasp on my shoulder and gradually, the volume of her voice started to rise.
"And since I am aware of your desire, I never expressed my feelings in words. Thanks to that, the dense you never had any idea about it. However, like everyone else, once I graduated, you cut me off heartlessly…"
After the sharp rise in her volume, the last word she said was filled with emotions she bottled up from more than a year that I haven't seen her.
"I tried moving on from you, you know? To once again focus on my earlier goals… But I couldn't focus on that anymore. What you let me feel was something else. If I can call it something, then it's like a valuable gem with almost 99% purity. The 1% was your illogical way of doing things."
"Mizuki…"
"I also tried dating someone else during the year that I haven't seen you. I thought I could feel the same thing from them but… they're like a child playing house compared to you. We couldn't even last for a few days. They're all wearing a mask when they're wooing me and their real self will start to leak out as soon as I said yes. You… you never put on any mask. You did doubtful things, true but as soon as you deemed that your conquest was done, you told me everything that you're keeping from me…"
I see. Of course, a lot of them will really try to move on and be content with their normal life. However, this girl… she's someone hard to please. Well, it could be said that she also hadn't tried enough. None of those she dated persevered from her attitude.
With her hand grasping my shoulder tightly, Mizuki started catching her breath. She then put her forehead on my shoulder to break our gaze.
"It's enough, Mizuki. You already opened my eyes. And I'm happy to hear all of that from you. I couldn't really be sure about my feelings back then, but looking back at it. I most likely did all of that to steal your affection. No. Not just steal. To grab it and make you be mine completely."
I could only move my arm and put her in my embrace. I neither have any words to refute anything she said nor a reason to do that. I loved this girl ever since then but because of my unstoppable desire, my mind never recognized any of that.
It feels like this meeting with them is turning into a series of realizations about what I was doing from my past… But yeah, they're probably the exceptions. I would probably be smacked in the face if I heard words from someone who didn't chase after me like them.
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