Going inside this couple's park all alone certainly invited odd looks toward me. Nonetheless, with most of them busy enough to enjoy the Christmas and romantic mood with their partners, none of them cared enough about my existence.
Like the notorious Valentine's Day, today was the only chance they could flirt in public with no one going to point at them for doing so.
Seeing all of this should be stimulating for my desire but somehow, I could feel my stomach churning as if I ate something bad. The earlier throbbing of my desire immediately died down as if this atmosphere immediately spoiled its effect. Rather than get the excitement from scouting prospective targets, I found myself walking out of the park after doing one lap around it.
I couldn't stand it.
I admit. This wasn't the first time I felt like this but at the moment, it was frustratingly more intense.
Was it because of Nagisa? I had no idea. And I couldn't find the motivation to confirm it.
That smile I saw from her wasn't because of me, right? There's the possibility that she got stood up and had no other places to go.
No. Wait. It's fine for me to act oblivious but I shouldn't deny reality. I wasn't that dumb yet to not understand why she showed up today.
Even yesterday, I convinced myself that denying me was her way to not get involved with me again. I disregarded the undeniable longing gaze she focused on me when I was paying for that cake.
And even when she stretched her arm out to me, I ignored it and escaped without giving her a second glance.
Yeah… That was horrible of me. But at the same, that wasn't like me to think about this.
Did my resolve get shaken? Was that it?
Perhaps.
However, even if that's the case, I would stand by my decision to send her away without talking.
I had already made an exception by turning a blind eye to Yae's feelings for me, keeping her by my side until she graduated. On the off chance that Nagisa also felt the same, it was a lot better like this. The girl didn't confess and I cut her off like any other girl last March.
That should be the end… There was no point looking over my shoulder to check if any of them were staring at my back.
Yes. There's no need to be fixated on it over and over…
They deserve a chance for a normal life while I… I wouldn't be surprised if I eventually get the retribution for ruining their lives just for the sake of fulfilling my desire…
Mhm. My situation was already hopeless but for those girls, they deserved to step away from my shadow.
-
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After clearing my head and walking out of that park, I found myself in a corner cafe with little to no customers to pass the time.
Ordering a coffee just to not get kicked out, I planned to spend a few hours there, to do nothing else but straighten up the conflict in my mind.
Unfortunately, this day had proven to be a pain in the ass for me.
Not even five minutes after I got my coffee, batches of customers poured in, filling up every seat and disturbing the peace and quiet.
Giving up on that plan, I got up and tried to leave and look for another place to pass the time.
But once again, an obstruction appeared before me.
Ria, a junior in my middle school and obviously one of the girls I stole blocked me on my way out.
She's also wearing winter clothing that made her look like a sushi roll from how tight-looking it was. But for sure, it's only because of her small body build that even a 6th grader could rival.
"I finally found you, Dumb-senpai! I told you that you can call me if you want to go out today but you… Ugh."
Facepalming at the end, the girl then grabbed my wrist with her hand covered in mitts. Yanking me out of that doorway, the girl then apologized to the other customers that I inadvertently obstructed.
After doing that, the girl started dragging me with her. I could've said something but decided to just go along with her.
Not because I was surprised by her appearance but because of what she said.
What did she mean by 'finding me'? Did she follow me from somewhere?
And while it was indeed true that she told me to call her, I never considered doing that at all.
This girl wasn't like Nagisa. Even if she could daringly act like this to the guy who tormented her, she's someone who would never develop any feelings for me or even show any hint of sorrow just because of my actions. There's just no way. She's a smart girl, after all.
That's why I'm Dumb-senpai to her.
Haa… Was Christmas normally this tiring? Why couldn't they let me get some time alone?
First there's Nagisa. Then Akane showed up and decided to wait for me at my house. This time, Ria followed me from somewhere.
"Dumb-senpai, let's go to that park with a huge Christmas tree." While sporting a silly grin, Ria suggested.
If she really followed me from somewhere, she should've seen me strutting out of that place with an uncomfortable expression.
She's probably trying to get a reaction from me.
"Nope. I already went there. I don't like the atmosphere there." I answered and pulled my wrist out of her hold.
We're now under a covered sidewalk close to a bus stop, evading the continued downpour of snow. If I would choose to separate from her, this should be the place.
"Heh, that's unusual, Dumb-senpai. Not liking the atmosphere when you can take a pick on who will be your next target?" Ria teased, boldly elbowing my stomach. But because of her small stature and meager strength, my thick winter coat didn't even cave in. That didn't faze her though.
"Then, what about a hotel? I will cuddle you in there. We can also, you know?" She continued as an unusual naughty smile peeked from her lips.
"Can you hear yourself? You don't like it and even if I bring you to one, they won't let us in." I answered.
Right. Even though I had already conquered and tasted her everything, she wasn't the type to like going to a hotel or a motel. Besides, that one thing I tried pulling her in, but we got denied because of her appearance.
While I look mature for my age, she's the opposite. Why did I steal her again?
"Eh… Just say I'm your little sister." Ria suggested and once again grabbed my wrist. But this time, she moved closer and hugged my arm. She then pressed her cheeks on it, acting rather flirty.
"Girl, are you trying to seduce me?"
Perhaps she heard something unbelievable, Ria put on an incredulous expression, "Seduce you? Dumb-senpai, let me return your question, are you hearing yourself? If it comes to doing those unspeakable things, you're never holding back to fill up your desire."
Well, that's true but…
"Today is not the day for that. I told you, you're free to do what you want to—"
Not waiting for me to finish my words, Ria raised her head to meet my gaze, "And I chose to spend it with you, Dumb-senpai. He's on a trip with his family. I'm also alone today."
That… I never considered that. But still, why go to me when she could do something else instead?
"Oh. I can read that expression. You're thinking why I went to get you instead of spending this day on something worthwhile, right?"
This girl…
"Stop reading my expression. But yes, you're on point. So, go on now. Stop disturbing me." I ended up scowling and attempted to break away from her.
But unlike earlier when she obediently let go, Ria only tightened her embrace, clinging as if her life depended on it.
Furthermore, with a smug expression, her boldness once again showed.
"Heh. This is really interesting. If today is any other day, I won't possibly hear you saying that. Should I start hoping that everyday is Christmas Day?"
This girl… Am I acting too soft toward her? No… She's just this persistent at annoying me.
"Dumb-senpai, stop making that unfunny expression. Come on, let me spend this day with you." Repeating the same words as earlier, Ria then resumed dragging me with her.
And as though waiting for us specifically, the next bus arrived and opened right as we reached the bus stop.
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