"I am scared."
Those three words started it all. Even though there was no explanation for what terrified Cosette, but Maxen remembered embracing her as tightly as he could. In the end, she wasn't able to prepare anything since she just cried and cried. He didn't raise questions when morning rolled in, but he served her and tried to cheer her up.
Patience dominated that weekend. It was Maxen's practice to wait until Cosette was ready to tell him the problem. But she didn't. She simply stayed quiet throughout the weekend, and then, when Monday rolled in, she acted as if nothing was wrong.
The following week went by as if that night didn't happen until Cosette and Maxen had a dinner date with the Blacs. That was when everyone's world stopped.
"I… will not have children," were the words that put a halt to the warm atmosphere in the dining where Conrad, Marcel, Gretchen, Maxen, and Cosette were enjoying a feast.
Maxen, Conrad, Marcel, and Gretchen slowly set their eyes on Cosette. The two elders were happily talking about their grandchildren, so her remarks took them off guard.
"Dear, what do you mean you will not have children?" Gretchen was the first to recover, putting up a gentle smile. "I'm sorry. We're not pressuring you if that is what you felt. We're simply excited when the time you and Maxen are ready —"
"It's not that I don't want to." Cosette slowly lifted her eyes, casting each of them a look. "I might not be able to… is what I mean."
Maxen furrowed his brows while Marcel and Gretchen looked at each other. Meanwhile, Conrad maintained his stoic front.
"And why is that?" asked Conrad calmly, waiting for his daughter to look back at him. "Is there something wrong, Cozie?"
"I'm sick."
There was a moment of silence after Cosette's remarks. This time, Conrad's unchanging countenance cracked as it revealed confusion.
"I kept thinking that I needed to wait for the perfect time to tell you guys about it, but…" Cosette smiled bitterly, recalling the festive atmosphere they had moments ago.
Her grandparents accepted Maxen and treated him as their own grandson. Conrad had always been welcoming to Maxen. Seeing how happy they were, the guilt that had been weighing her down felt unbearable.
'There was no perfect time' was what flashed in her head. It would be now or never. Thus, Cosette opened her mouth before her resolve waned.
"Dear, what do you mean, you're sick?" Gretchen asked awkwardly, crawling her hands on top of the big round table. "Do you need rest or do you —"
"I don't." Another wave of silence descended in the hallway. If they didn't know Cosette, they would think she was simply pranking them for how she delivered everything with a straight face. "An early onset dementia, leukemia, myeloma, and other complications. I am dying."
They looked at Cosette with wide eyes, unable to process everything that slipped past her lips.
"That's why I said I might not have children." The corner of her lips curled up, picking up her cutler to eat. "I don't even know how long I will last or whether I will remember this night. I just don't want to give you guys false hope when I already know having children is impossible."
SLAM!
"Cosette!" Conrad slammed his hand against the surface of the table, making the plates and cutleries clang. "What nonsense are you saying now? Maxen, what is the meaning of this?!"
Maxen was lost, casting the furious Conrad a look before he set his eyes on Cosette. He reached for her arm, tugging it gently.
"Love, what are you —"
"I'm scared." Cosette cut him off, facing Maxen squarely. "I want to make you as many lunch boxes as I can. Maybe ten years' worth? That way, I am sure you will eat properly for the next ten years."
Maxen's breath hitched, watching her smile with tears in her eyes. Didn't she say these exact same words just a week ago? Why was she repeating… just before Maxen would wonder. He recalled this wasn't the first time Cosette repeated something as if she was genuinely clueless about it.
Meanwhile, Conrad furrowed his brows at his daughter's sudden change of subject. Gretchen and Marcel were stupefied.
"Did you say… early onset dementia?" Maxen blurted out under his breath, and her expression changed into a panic.
"What?" Cosette laughed awkwardly. "I was talking about the kids. What are you —"
Cosette was unable to finish her sentence as he suddenly pulled her into his embrace. Her eyes slowly went wide, furrowing her brows as her eyes slid to the corner.
"Max, is there something wrong?" she asked with a gentle smile. "Was work tough? Should I tell dad to stop giving you a hard time?"
Maxen gripped her back tightly. The more he listened to her, the more he could feel the inexplicable pain that took his heart hostage. Conrad watched Maxen and Conrad with blank eyes, unable to absorb the situation. Meanwhile, Marcel suddenly gripped his chest, making Gretchen panic.
"Marcel!" screamed Gretchen, holding her husband from the side. "Conrad, you father! Help!"
That night didn't end well for everyone aside from Cosette. Marcel was rushed to the hospital as he almost died from a heart attack. On top of Marcel's condition, Cosette also fainted when multiple people rushed inside the private dining.
That was the start of their endless night; they had never seen the light after that.
******
[ PRESENT TIME ]
"You acted as if nothing happened," Maxen continued under his breath. "So, Dad and I agreed to pretend we knew nothing. Although we have to plant people — sometimes it would be me or dad — to escort you while you go to work, keep their distance so you can live your life without ever knowing their presence. There were nights you will remember your confession and ask me a few questions; you will also answer some of mine. So, we knew you didn't want to get treated."
Maxen took a deliberate pause, facing her squarely. "The only question you didn't answer is, why? Why don't you want to get treated, Cosette?"
"Don't you want to stay with us?" he added, holding back his tears.
After listening to him, Cosette sort of remembered some snippets of it. Her eyes grew blurry because of the tears that were covering her eyes, forcing a smile on her face. She stretched her hand, cupping his face to wipe the tear that managed to escape his eyes.
"Around several ago, I made a promise," she whispered, smiling. "I was in the front passenger seat while you were on that spot. I promised that I will never forget you, Max. Getting treatment will prolong my life, but I might not remember you anymore… I don't want to forget you. I don't want to forget us and everything."
"Let me live this life remembering you, remembering us, and all the memories we created together," she added while Maxen broke down, unable to hold back his tears. "I know this is unfair and selfish, but… can you please continue to live the way we did?"
Maxen was sniffing and crying, holding her hand as if his life depended on it. When he recovered slightly, he looked up and nodded.
"Should we go on a trip?" his voice was shaking and almost breaking. "Are you free?"
Cosette maintained her smile and nodded. "I sent my resignation, so I have all the time in the world. A beach trip sounds nice, don't you think?"
"It does." He wiped his tears with his arm, recomposing himself. "Should we go straight there?"
"Mhm."
Maxen and Cosette stared at each other, smiling. Yet, tears filled their eyes despite the curl on the corner of their lips. With that being said, Maxen drove off to a private resort owned by the Blac to get away from the city noise and to enjoy every second they had left.
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