[ PRESENT TIME ]
Maynard excused himself to go back to his room, as he had drunk a few shots before asking Asher to drink with him. He swayed at each step back to his room, and when he reached his destination, Maynard didn't enter. Instead, he leaned his side against the jamb of the door.
"Hah… why am I acting like this now?" he murmured, dragging his feet inside. But Maynard didn't go straight to bed. He went straight to the bookshelf, raising a hand to take out the book he would usually pick each time for whatever reason.
The book was old and used, very unlike the books that were on the bookshelf. When he opened it, Maynard searched for a particular page until he found the reason he would take this book out occasionally.
There, kept inside the book, was a woman's portrait.
"Stella," he whispered, planting his fingertips on her portrait's beautiful face. "Darling…"
His eyes slowly swirled with affection and longing, staring at the old photo of his past lover. Strange that Maynard didn't have a single picture of his wife inside his room. It was mostly the pictures he had with his son, but the woman who gave birth to them couldn't be seen in his room.
For him to keep his former lover's portrait, even though it had been almost two decades, showed how much he had loved her.
"I wonder where are you now?" His lips curled up bitterly, wondering where this woman was now. "I didn't look for you just as you wished… but how can you just live without me? I did many things for you, but… just why can't you choose me?"
Perhaps it was the alcohol that amplified all the bottled emotions Maynard had suppressed for almost two decades. But his voice clearly revealed there were many things he hadn't understood.
"Even when we're free…" Maynard took out the portrait, sitting on the edge of the mattress, eyes on her beautiful smile. "Even when you replaced me, I forgave you. Yet, why didn't you come back to me? I was willing to accept your son too and raise him as my own."
Until now, Maynard couldn't understand why Stella chose to leave him. He did a lot of bad things, and he wouldn't deny that. But why did she not understand his reason for that?
"I really miss you, darling." His lips stretched into a subtle smile. "I really, really miss you every single day since you left."
Maynard collapsed on his back, bouncing slightly on the bed. He turned his head and raised his hand to look at her picture, thinking of what had happened in the past.
Back then, Rocco just suddenly trespassed the Quinn's headquarters, intoxicated. Rocco was devoured by anger that he attacked Maynard like a madman. And since Maynard had his grudges for Rocco's 'betrayal,' it became a fierce fistfight.
In the end, Maynard's people stepped in with the police because Rocco surprisingly overpowered Maynard. Rocco beat Maynard until the latter passed out, and thus, he was charged with attempted murder.
When Maynard woke up and heard the news, he did nothing. Even when Conrad came to meet him, Maynard feigned deaf and mute. At that time, his foolish young self was so angry that he thought if Rocco was in jail, Stella would leave him.
She did, after several months.
But Stella still didn't give in to Maynard's harassment. Instead, she only met him once to end everything between them once and for all and disappeared as if she didn't exist. Maynard wanted to look for her, but he didn't.
Out of sight, out of mind.
He thought if he let her go, he would eventually forget about her. But obviously, he didn't. But he couldn't find her anymore, and all he could do was long for her.
Two years later, Rocco was never the same person. He heard Conrad offer help to get him out of prison, but Rocco stubbornly refused. Maynard didn't know why Conrad listened to Rocco's refusal, but he eventually got enlightened when Rocco was released from prison.
Rocco would kill Maynard if he was out of prison.
Maynard would've died, if not for his late wife. Yet Maynard didn't feel anything toward his wife's death. He lived because of her, but at the same time, she stole many things from Maynard, and her death was a cheap price for repayment.
"It's good for her that she died early." He let out a short snicker while keeping his eyes on the portrait. "If she survived, she would only suffer with me. No. I might actually just kill her myself before she destroys my kids too."
"Stella." Maynard slowly moved his hand until the portrait was lying on his chest. "I hope we won't meet in this lifetime. Wherever you are, whether you got married or have a family, I don't want to know. You're better off without me."
He closed his eyes to rest, letting the alcohol kick in and force him to sleep. It didn't take long before Maynard fell asleep, holding the portrait on his chest, putting back the lid he had in his chest where he had bottled all his pain from the past.
Little did Maynard know, Asher followed him to his room because his son was worried about him. Asher leaned his back against the wall beside the open door, keeping quiet at the remarks his father recklessly spewed.
'I've always known he doesn't love her…' he thought, lowering his eyes. '... but isn't it just plain cruel to not feel the slightest remorse for the death of your children's mother? On top of that, how can you… yearn for someone else while openly hating on your deceased wife? '
Bitterness flickered across Asher's eyes as his jaw tightened. He couldn't detect what he was feeling at the moment, but he could feel this unpleasant feeling in his heart. He couldn't understand, and maybe he would never understand his father.
"I guess it's really better that she's dead." Asher glanced at the open door before turning on his heel to walk away. "At least, she wouldn't be just as unhappy as I am with this broken family built by broken people."
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