Cosette and Maxen lay down on the bed, facing each other. Their hands were intertwined between them, staring at each other, smiling. With only the golden light from the nightstand as their source of light, she still looked pretty. From her point of view, she could still barely see Maxen, since his back was facing the lamp.
"Why?" she asked after a long silence, making his brows raise in confusion. "Why do you trust me so much? Aren't you afraid I am lying?"
Maxen smiled, peeling one hand from her hand to place it on the side of her head. "You never lie to me."
"How did you know I won't?"
"I just know." His smile looked kind, melting her heart. "I just know you."
Lying was the last thing Cosette would do to Maxen. There was not any memory in his mind that she ever lied to him. Cosette might keep something a secret, but she wouldn't deny there was a secret if he ever confronted her.
It wasn't like Maxen never saw her lie. Cosette could lie with a straight face, but there was a subtle difference that one wouldn't notice if one didn't pay attention. Or perhaps, he just paid too much attention to her that he could discern whenever she was saying something untrue and whenever she was speaking the truth.
"Though I am curious," he continued under his breath, holding her gaze sincerely. "Why did you accompany him and drink that much?"
Cosette pursed her lips, taking his question more natural and calm after she explained the details of that night. "I feel bad for him."
"You feel bad for him?"
"Well…" She lowered her eyes, thinking of Asher and how he desperate he looked that night. "... have you seen someone who always acts strong and nonchalant, but deep down, they were trying their best not to fall apart?"
Cosette raised her eyes back to him. "I feel like he will fall apart that night, and I didn't want that to happen. So, I want to be there for him."
"You…" Maxen caressed her hair, which was on the back of her ear. "... are kind, Cozie."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"No. I just wondering if you are an angel."
"Max." She chuckled weakly, blushing a little. Maxen also laughed and then stared at her.
"You make me proud," he added after a minute. "I want to keep you all for myself, but I can't change you and your nature."
Cosette smiled, reaching for his hand that was on the side of her head. "I'm not a good person, Maxen."
"You are not perfect," he corrected. "Being kind or good doesn't mean you have to be kind and good all the time. We are only human; we get angry, and sad, make stupid decisions and do things like that. But not because you tried to protect yourself from that Ezekiel, it doesn't mean you're just bad."
"But our family —"
"Your family cares about you more than them, Cosette." Maxen leaned his face closer, having witnessed how the Blac's protected her. "Whether he physically harmed you or emotionally attacked you, it's the same. They'd still react the same way."
His eyes softened, squeezing her hand that was between them. "Don't feel bad."
"If I am your daughter, I will become spoiled."
"You're my fiancee." He blinked. "We'll make a daughter when we're older."
Cosette opened and closed her mouth, but her voice was stuck in her throat. What did he say? Seeing her stunned reaction, Maxen chuckled.
"What?" he teased. "Didn't you say you'd want to get engaged to me? Did you change your mind?"
"No!" Cosette defended in panic. "I was just surprised that you suddenly said having a daughter… so… I was flustered. Gosh. Why do you say things that always surprise me?"
"I should say the same thing to you." Maxen laughed playfully. "I mean, who is the person who suddenly brought up marriage and engagement in front of her elders? It's the first time I met your grandparents, so you can imagine how shocked I am until now."
His eyes softened as he thought about his interaction with Marcel and Gretchen. Although Marcel was the loud type, he was more like the loud version of Conrad. And just like how Conrad and Cosette didn't bring up Maxen's upbringing or questioned his background, Marcel and Gretchen judged Maxen by his personality.
"It still feels surreal." He raised his eyes back to her, smiling subtly. "At times like this, our age is sort of frustrating."
"Why?" Cosette arched a brow playfully. "Because you think we're too young to have sex?"
Maxen laughed. "Yes."
"Really?"
"Cosette, do you think I will just hold you like this after telling me you slept in another man's bedroom?" his brows rose, blinking almost innocently. "Although I trust you, I don't trust Asher. It's a good thing he has a conscience. Even so, my girlfriend is just so wonderful it takes a lifetime of energy to resist her."
Cosette blushed at the consecutive compliments that were backed up by those sincere eyes. If only he knew the butterflies in her stomach that were flying straight to her heart, he would how pretty she felt at the moment.
"I'm glad," she expressed under her breath, relieved at how things turned out. And the more she thought about it, she could not help but tear up. "I'm sorry, Max."
"What for?"
ραпdα nᴏνɐ| сom "For thinking bad things to happen."
"To who? Me?"
"To us." Cosette bit her inner lower lip to give her some strength to speak her heart. "I thought you'd misunderstand and leave me. I was scared that I'd hurt you."
Maxen kept his subtle smile, leaning over his face, and searched for her eyes. His lips parted, but no words came out of his mouth. He didn't know how to word what was in his heart. After all, how could she say she was scared she would hurt him when earlier, it looked as though she was the person who was hurt by whatever news she was about to tell him?
"At this point…" he trailed off, moving his face closer until his forehead was touching hers. He breathed in her hot breaths, closing his eyes ever so slowly. "... the only time you can hurt me is you being unhappy or miserable."
There were more things he wanted to tell her, but he simply condensed his feelings into that one sentence. He didn't know when and where or how and why, but deep in his heart, he simply wished her to be happy. Even if he wasn't the cause or a part of that happiness, as long as Cosette was happy, that was good enough for Maxen.
Cosette smiled, closing her eyes. "Can you stay here tonight?"
"Mhm."
They held each other's hands and eventually fell asleep, leaving whatever heaviness she was carrying behind.
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