"You... disgusts me."
"Cosette." Asher held her wrist, but Cosette flung her arms away violently to avoid his touch.
"Don't touch me!" Cosette yelled, pushing herself to sit up. She looked around aggressively, recognizing she was in a hospital right now. Her mind was filled with blanks, but the last memory she had in her head was having a breakdown, trying to kill Asher out of hatred.
"Cosette –"
"Touch me, and I will kill myself."
Asher froze as Cosette glared daggers at him. Her hand was raised, signaling him to keep his distance. This was the reason, Asher, although heartbroken seeing her, knowing nothing, deemed it better than when she knew everything.
The story between them was just pure tragic.
She hated him more than anyone in this world, and his feelings? She didn't care about them. All she cared about was her own pain, and even when he thought it was unfair, he couldn't fully blame her. It wasn't that the feeling wasn't mutual; Asher loathed Cosette more than anyone.
Wasn't that the reason he married her to punish her for the pain and shame she had inflicted upon him?
Yet, despite the deep hatred he had for her, his love for her was just as intense. He hated her to death, but at the same time, he love her so much it was driving him insane.
"Mister Quinn!"
Asher heard a panicking voice behind him. He looked back, only to see multiple doctors and nurses by the door. Cosette also glanced at them, and the growing repugnance in her heart swelled.
"It's okay," said Asher, waving at them dismissively. "We're fine."
"But Mister Quinn —"
"Leave us alone!" Asher cut the doctor off with a shout, taking everyone by surprise. He was panting with just that one yell, his heart was heavy, looking up at Cosette, who was glaring at him.
"I will deal with my wife. No need to sedate her," he breathed out, making Cosette laugh in ridicule.
"Mister Quinn…"
"Leave us alone." Asher kept his gaze on Cosette, gulping the frustrating tension in his throat. "It's fine. We're fine. Do not… scare her."
The doctors and nurses looked at each other worriedly. This wasn't the first time this had happened. There were times Cosette would turn very aggressive, and they would initially sedate her because she was a danger to herself. However, this was the first time Asher asked them not to, and they could only assume it was because sedating his wife hurt him.
Yes. Everyone thought of him as a loving husband for taking care of his dying wife. A martyr.
"Mister Quinn, if anything happens, we're just right outside," said the head doctor before signaling everyone to leave the room. They all waited outside nervously, staying attentive lest Cosette throws another huge tantrum and turn the room upside down.
Little did everyone know that when they left the room and shut the door, all Cosette did was let out a dry, ridiculing laugh.
"So, you got what you want?" she scoffed, looking at him with nothing but mockery. "Your wife? Me? How come?"
"Cosette, calm down."
"How!" Cosette took a deep breath and breathed it out sharply, grabbing his collar aggressively. "How, Asher? How?"
Her eyes shook just like how her lips quivered, gripping his collar tightly, and wished she had a stronger grip. If only she had enough strength, she wouldn't be grabbing his collar but his neck.
"You killed him." Her voice lowered with a tinge of helplessness, tears coating her red eyes. "You killed him, took advantage of me, and now you portray yourself as a good husband. How can I calm down, knowing you will use even my death to your advantage, Asher Quinn?"
Cosette ground her teeth, aware this hate wouldn't last long. As someone who was aware of her multiple illnesses, Cosette was certain once she forget about everything again, he would shamelessly hold her hand and pretend there was no deep problem between them.
Asher's eyes shone with bitterness and pain upon hearing her remarks. Would they argue about this again? Again? Asher was tired of having this argument over and over and over again. It was just on repeat, but the pain was just as fresh as the first time.
"I… honestly do not want to get better or even remember who I am, who you are, and everything," she remarked with intense emotion, shaking her head mildly. She also said these exact words before, and they still slice through his heart the same.
Just as Asher mentioned, it never gets easier. It was just as hard as the first time, much worse honestly.
Cosette pounded her fist against his chest weakly. She wanted to hurt him just the way he had hurt her, but this pathetic strength was all she had and all she could muster.
"You killed him," she repeated, punching his chest while he let her. Asher remained silent, taking everything willingly. "How dare you? After every damn thing… isn't having me enough? Why would you kill him? Why can't you just let me die as well?"
Tears blurred her vision as her punches grew weaker until she was only clutching his chest.
"I don't know if I should feel grateful for keeping me alive, or insulted for making me last this long." Cosette raised her eyes and faced him, tugging his chest weakly. "What do you want from me? The company? Don't you have it already now that I am incapable of refusing the merging? What else do you want from me, Asher Quinn? What else?"
Cosette tugged his suit weakly until Asher held her wrist to stop her. Her vision was completely blurred from the tears in her eyes, but she could see the bitterness in his eyes.
"You," was all that he said and Cosette's face crumpled, closing her eyes and shaking her head at how painful his answer was. "Cosette, how can you be so blind? I killed him… for you. He will kill you, and I cannot just stand idly by."
"Then let him kill me!"
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