Return of the Runebound Professor

Noah scoured the ground as best as he could through the pulses of dizziness that ravaged his mind. Bodies didn’t just up and vanish. And, if they’d somehow managed to eat his corpse in the minutes he’d been gone, then there should have been blood all over the ground. For that matter, he’d never seen the monkeys drag his corpses anywhere and, even if they had, there should have been some form of trail in the dirt.

There was no sign of either. A tiny blur of beige caught Noah’s eye and he staggered over to it, kneeling and picking up one of the claws that he’d ripped free of a Slasher. Noah picked it up and straightened, checking around the nearby trees.

Nothing. His body was just… gone.

Did a Skinwalker take it? Or did my body just get kidnapped by some monkey?

Noah groaned and rubbed his forehead. It was too difficult to put thoughts together right now. Sunlight pierced into his skull, digging in like little jagged knives and forcing him to shield his eyes with a hand. It wouldn’t be too long before they were pulled back to Arbitage. Noah couldn’t remember the exact time they’d left anymore, but he was fairly certain it was close to a day ago.

He froze.

Shit. Where are Todd and Isabel?

Noah swore under his breath and, after taking a few moments more than he would have liked to orient himself, stumbled in the direction that they’d gone. The fog filling his mind had nearly made him completely forget that he wasn’t alone.

Are they alive? Did they see what happened? Maybe they grabbed my body and are currently mourning me? Damn, that would be awkward.

He forced his rebelling body to accelerate, nearly tripping over the protruding roots of a tree. Noah barely managed to catch himself on a branch before he fell. It creaked dangerously and he shoved away from it, following the outlines of Todd and Isabel’s tracks in the packed dirt.

The world wobbled and twisted around Noah like he was looking at it through the mirrors of a funhouse in a circus. Trees swirled at the edges of his vision in a mocking dance, snapping still the moment he looked in their direction. Several times, he could have sworn something was watching him from behind, but there was nothing whenever he turned to check.

Damn it. Of all the times to get myself killed, this was probably the worst.

Noah raised his vision from the burnt ground directly before his feet – nearly tripping over them in the process. A monkey corpse lay sprawled on the ground before him, scorched and smoldering.

He raised his gaze up the tree behind it. Todd and Isabel sat in its branches. Their eyes widened in shock as they spotted Noah, and relief flooded through him.

“Professor! You’re alive!” Isabel’s face shone with shock and relief. Her words caught in her throat for a moment. “I heard the rock hit you and–”

“And yet here I stand,” Noah said, struggling to find words through the haze enveloping him. He shook his head in a futile attempt to shake the fog away. “Never mind that. What happened after you ran?”

“We didn’t turn back, just like you told us to. A monkey saw us running and gave chase, so I fried it,” Todd said. He didn’t bother hiding the pride in his voice, and Noah gave him an approving nod after taking a second to process his words.

“Well done. Literally.” Noah chuckled and immediately regretted the action as it sent waves of pain rocking through his head. He gritted his teeth and pressed a palm to his temple.

“Are you okay?” Isabel slipped from the branches of the trees to the ground beside Noah. Todd dropped down right after her.

“I’ll live. Chuckers are a little too strong for me to deal with casually, as you saw.”

“How’d you live through getting hit like that without a shield?” Todd asked. “I heard the crunch. There’s no way you should be walking around right now.”

Noah opened his mouth, desperately trying to think of a good excuse, but his mind refused to comply with his pleas.

“He’s got a healing potion, idiot,” Isabel said, pointing at the gourd hanging from Noah’s waist. “What did you think? He even told us to buy some earlier. It would be stupid if he didn’t follow his own advice.”

You are now officially my favorite student.

“Good deduction. You’ll have to excuse me, though. Fighting that thing took a lot of energy, and I’m pretty much spent. Consider our lesson for today complete. Just keep an eye out for more monsters until we get yanked back to Arbitage.”

Isabel and Todd nodded, their expressions turning serious. They squinted into the trees, searching for signs of monsters that Noah desperately hoped weren’t there. Meanwhile, he leaned against a tree and slid down to a seated position.

The next hour ticked by in stressful silence. Nobody said anything, which Noah was grateful for. His headache didn’t abate, but the silence at least made it slightly more tolerable. An odd mixture of curiosity, satisfaction, and pain mixed in his mind, and all he could do was sit along for the ride.

When a familiar tug pulled at Noah, the only thing left in him was relief. Isabel and Todd both cried out in surprise, but their calls were lost as the three of them were ripped away from the Scorched Acres and summoned back to Arbitage.

Noah slammed into the metal of the transport cannon’s tube, sliding out of it and onto the ground with a grunt. He barely managed to keep the presence of mind to roll out of the way before Isabel and Todd followed him in, collapsing in a pile of curses and limbs.

“I hope your trip went well,” Tim said with a cheerful smile. “I see your clothes survived this time as well.”

“A rare mercy,” Noah said through gritted teeth. “Class is dismissed. We’ll meet again in two days. Don’t stop training.”

Without waiting for their responses, Noah stumbled into the lift. Tim, who was already used to this particular side of Noah, just raised his hand in farewell and sent the lift rattling down toward the stairs.

The rest of Noah’s trip back to his room was a hazy blur. He didn’t even want to consider what people thought as they saw him stumbling drunkenly across campus in broad daylight. Frankly, he didn’t care much.

It wasn’t like Vermil’s reputation could get much worse.

He reached his room and barricaded himself within it, falling into bed with a relieved groan. Noah buried his head under his pillow in a motion that was becoming all too familiar for his tastes, then let the hours slip away as he waited out the consequences of his actions.

The next day didn’t come fast enough. When Noah finally regained full control of his mind and lifted the pillow, the sun was low in the horizon once more. It was early dawn, by his estimate. He sat upright and leaned back, letting his head thunk against the wall. The events of the previous day ran through his head and a frown scrawled across Noah’s face.

“What the hell happened to my body?”

Noah scoured his memories to see if he’d somehow missed something in his pained haze, but nothing came to mind. He hadn’t found the wrong spot because the monkey he’d killed and the dagger were still there. His body had just disappeared, and there was absolutely no clue as to where it had gone.

He started to stand, then froze, his heart jumping in his chest as he saw the bulbous eyes of a Chucker staring at him from the shadows of his room. Noah leapt to his feet, his heart thundering.

There was nothing there. It was just an empty corner. He pressed a hand to his chest and leaned against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut and letting out a slow, heavy breath through pursed lips.

He took a few moments before opening his eyes again. He’d been fighting far too many monkeys recently. Maybe they were haunting him.

“Well, I hope whatever ate my body had a good snack,” Noah grumbled. “I’ve got to be single handedly keeping half of the monkeys in that damn forest alive.”

His annoyance didn’t last long, and the frown was quickly replaced by a satisfied grin. Todd and Isabel had performed incredibly well. He’d been concerned that they might have been unwilling to push themselves too hard, but both had put everything they had into the task. There was no doubt in his mind that he’d be able to prepare them to pass the exam coming in three weeks.

I’m going to undo all the damage Vermil has done and then some. Todd and Isabel are too hard working to get shafted like this. Anyone who puts the work into succeeding should have an equal shot at it. Besides, it’s ridiculous that the school doesn’t provide shields to students with all of those ones they had lying around in the arena. Even if those don’t work outside the arena, I’m sure they could afford to have some loaners. I don’t see how other instructors are going about things if everyone is too scared to fight monsters without shields. Do only wealthy students get good educations?

Noah stood up and paced across his room, moving more from habit than by intention, and pulled open his closet. His nose scrunched in annoyance. He’d gotten his clothes ruined so many times that there was only a single set left.

“Damn it. I’m going to need to get more, but I’ve still yet to find any money in Vermil’s room. Wasn’t this guy supposed to be a trust fund baby? Where’s all my money? I wonder if there are banks here. I need to find someone to annoy with questions.”

Noah chewed his lower lip. As far as he could remember, the map didn’t have a bank on it. He didn’t exactly have a lot of options on who to speak with about things either. Asking his own students how to get paid felt a little low, even for him. And, aside from them, the only people he’d spoken to were Tim, Moxie, and Richard.

He was willing to bet that Richard despised him, and Moxie wasn’t much better. Tim was an option, but he was also working and asking the old man too many questions was probably a poor idea. He struck Noah as a little too talkative to trust with secrets.

Well, I guess Moxie’s pretty close. If that Skinwalker she was chasing got to my room, she would have to live near me. Maybe she’s home.

Noah headed out into the hall and in the direction that Moxie had come from when he’d been attacked by the Skinwalker, scanning the nameplates on the doors as he passed them. It took several minutes, but he quickly found his target.

“Aha,” Noah said, coming to a stop before a nameplate engraved Magus Moxie. The door, just like all the others in the hall, was plain stone. He raised his hand and rapped on the door.

Several seconds passed. He heard some shuffling from within the room, but nobody responded to his knock. Noah frowned and knocked again, harder this time.

“What do you want?” Moxie’s voice snapped from the other side. “I’m busy. Who is it?”

“Important delivery,” Noah drawled.

There was a moment of silence. The door clicked and Moxie pulled it open. Her eyes narrowed at Noah.

“You. What do you want?”

“I decided I had more questions.”

“That’s not part of our deal. There’s nothing between us.” Moxie glowered at Noah. “Get lost.”

“Just one quick question,” Noah promised, bracing his foot against the door before Moxie could slam it in his face. She pressed her lips together and raised an eyebrow.

“What, are you going to beg? It probably won’t do you much good, but it would be fun to watch.”

“You really seem to have a grudge against me,” Noah said. “Would you be more receptive to letting me in if I were a Skinwalker? You seem to have a soft spot for those.”

Moxie’s cheeks reddened in embarrassment and anger. “Not the best way to convince someone to help you.”

“But it’s a great way to annoy you, and I’m not leaving until you answer my question.”

Moxie ground her teeth together. She let go of the door and crossed her arms. “This is why everyone hates you, Vermil. What do you want?”

“Where’s my money?”

“What? I don’t owe you shit.”

“Not you. My money. Like, the money that actually belongs to me,” Noah said. Moxie’s stare remained flat. “My pay. You know? The thing we receive in exchange for goods and services?”

“I know what money is,” Moxie snapped. “Did you seriously blow through your monthly pay already?”

“Well, it’s more that I can’t seem to figure out where it is. You remember those slight memory loss issues I told you about, right? I can’t find any money in my room.”

If there’s any sort of bank in the area, Moxie will probably call me an idiot for not trying to use it.

“You lost your money,” Moxie said flatly. “Or you spent all of it. And now you’re trying to make excuses as to where it went.”

No mention of a bank. Good thing I didn’t bring it up, then. I guess people just keep their coin sitting around in their rooms, which begs the question – why didn’t Vermil have anything? Wasn’t he supposed to be rich?

“Yup. You got me. While we’re on the topic, I’ve also managed to destroy all of my clothes. Do you know where I can get more made?”

Moxie stared at him. When it became clear that Noah was serious, she ran a hand through her hair and let out a heavy sigh.

“How incompetent can you be?”

“Do you want a demonstration?”

“I’ll pass. What do you want from me, Vermil? You’ll get paid again at the start of the month, which is in a week.”

“How about a loan?” Noah offered.

“You can’t be serious. You’re asking me for money? Really?”

“A loan. I’ll give it back.”

Moxie glared at him. “And you ask me? Of every single person you could have approached, you come to me?”

Noah looked to either side, then shrugged. “I guess. You’re just that trustworthy. I’m too scummy to get anyone else to speak to me. Only you’ve shown me such pity, and I must beg to take advantage of it one more time. Your kind, giving reputation precedes you. Besides, you’re strong enough to beat the money out of me at the start of the month if I don’t pay you back.”

Moxie rolled her eyes. “Please stop. I’m going to throw up if I hear any more compliments come out of your greasy mouth. Fine. I’ll give you enough to get by if you promise to leave immediately and not bother me again. Deal?”

Aha. The good ‘ole ego stroke. Never fails to succeed.

“Deal,” Noah said, extending a hand.

Moxie stared at it distastefully, then turned and slammed the door in his face. It reopened a few seconds later and she tossed a small leather bag at Noah. He snagged it and Moxie made a shooing motion.

“Get lost. You got what you wanted.”

“Thanks,” Noah said with a cheerful grin. He turned on his heel and strode away, whistling to himself. Back on Earth, he’d never had enough money to do anything more than shop at secondhand stores and even that was a rare treat.

Now, he couldn’t even think on what he actually needed the money for. No, things were different here. Killing monsters gave sustenance through their energy, and he’d discovered a free teacher mess hall a few days ago, between his trips to the Scorched Acres.

That meant he could spend money on whatever he wanted to – and right now, Noah needed some new clothes.

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