He didn't know if he wanted this story to be Li Caiyi's or not. If it was indeed her life story, then how bleak and depressing it was.

He didn't know if he wanted this story to be Li Caiyi's or not. If it was indeed the story of her life, then how bleak and depressing it was. He was her closest friend but he almost had no idea that all that was happening under his nose.

If he didn't read this today, he would never know that she was still looking for that keychain even after months passed.

And also the fact that Li Caiyi, his wife, was actually in love with him.

Meng Renshu wasn't sure if he wanted this story to be Li Caiyi's or not. If it was indeed her life story, then how bleak and depressing it was. The wound in her heart was so deep, even before their marriage.

Meng Renshu knew Li Caiyi didn't have many friends, and he was her closest friend. Still, he almost had no idea all of this happened under his nose.

If he didn't read this today, he would never know she was still looking for that keychain even after months had passed.

And also the fact that Li Caiyi, his wife, was actually in love with him.

Meng Renshu's chest constricted in pain, making it hard for him to breathe. Cold sweat ran down his spine when he recalled Li Caiyi's hurt expression when he pushed her into the car, which was also the last time he saw her alive.

Then, the memories were replaced with Li Caiyi's ghastly state, making his stomach churn uncomfortably.

If only he didn't push her away at that time. If only he listened and believed her words. She wouldn't end up dead.

Meng Renshu was the one who nailed the final nail to her coffin.

"Ugh!"

"Renshu! Are you okay?" Li Junjie quickly ran forward and checked on his condition.

Meng Renshu pushed his friend's hand away. "Leave it. I'm fine, just shaken up a bit."

"Did you take your medicine properly?"

"Junjie, I didn't come here for you to lecture me about my health. I said leave it," Meng Renshu replied in a low voice. There was a hint of warning in his words, which left Li Junjie helpless.

"Renshu, I think you'd better talk with the editor of this book to make sure if this was indeed written by Xiaoyi or not."

"Yeah, I should. Thanks for informing me about this." Meng Renshu smiled or at least tried to since his smile was feeble and awkward.

"And I think each of us played a role in Xiaoyi's suicide. We have neglected her too much, thinking she would always be there with us. We took her for granted for too long."

Meng Renshu didn't want to respond. He didn't want someone to tell him that it wasn't his fault. He wanted someone to blame him instead. Compared to what Li Caiyi had gone through, this much was nothing.

"Xiaohua… Did she know about this?"

Li Junjie was surprised by the sudden change in topic. His face darkened when he heard that.

"Why do you ask that? Do you still not give up on meeting her again?"

Meng Renshu could sense his hostility from miles away. A bitter smile appeared on his face.

"Junjie, I haven't seen her since Xiaoyi's funeral. Can't I meet with her for a moment? I want to talk with her."

"You already know my answer when you feel like you need to ask for my permission, why still bother asking?" Li Junjie's eyes narrowed down dangerously. "Xiaoyi's grave is still fresh, and you can't wait to fly to Xiaohua's side now?"

Meng Renshu was appalled by his accusation. "What are you saying? That's not my intention! I only wanted to ask Xiaohua a few things!"

Gone was the brief friendship, and it was replaced with vigilance and hostility. Meng Renshu never wished for their relationship to turn out this way. He was happy when Li Junjie reached out to him first after months, but sure enough, it would end up this way eventually.

"Renshu, I meant what I said about Xiaoyi. What happened to her was not entirely your fault, so you don't need to be so harsh on yourself. But I still don't want to have anything to do with you. I forbid you from going anywhere near my family. This is also what Xiaohua wants as well."

"Junjie, listen to me first. I–"

Li Junjie raised his hand, refusing to listen to any words from him.

"I think I have said everything I wanted to tell you. You have no other business here with me, so you can leave. If you still treasure whatever bonds we have between us, I hope you listen to me and stay away from my family."

Meng Renshu swallowed the words that almost came out of his throat before walking out of the room gloomily. He didn't only lose his wife but also two of his best friends.

***

Meng Renshu re-read the book several times after that. Reading it gave her a false belief that he actually understood Li Caiyi for once. Even her deepest and ugliest part.

It tortured him when he read how much she had suffered by herself. But the thing that made him feel the worst was why Li Caiyi was so repulsed of him after their first night.

At this point, he already felt numb to everything. He didn't know what to feel when he first read it. He cried his eyes out during his next multiple reads. But now, he just silently let the agonizing pain in his heart slowly kill him.

There was so much bitterness, pain, and regret in every word of this book. Li Caiyi ended it on a happy note, but that caused a huge debate among the fans.

It succeeded in gaining mass due to how relatable the story was to many aspects of real life. Many women felt sympathetic to the main character. They expressed their desire to meet the writer, but their words would never reach the writer's ears.

There was even a talk that the story would be adapted into a movie if it weren't because the writer couldn't be contacted for some reason.

"President?"

Meng Renshu jolted when someone tapped on his shoulder. His assistant stared at him with concern before carefully asking.

"Are you feeling alright, President? Should I clear up the schedule for you today so you can rest?"

"No. I was just zoning out a bit," Meng Renshu massaged the bridge of his nose.

The assistant cast a complicated gaze on him before glancing at the opened book on top of the desk. He thought the President could finally regain some life after his last impulsive decision to take a leave. But who would have thought he would return to the office the next day with an even more somber look than before?

And the assistant noticed that the President always felt more depressed whenever he read that book. The President even asked him to find a way to arrange a meeting with the editor of the book.

"More importantly, have you finished the important task I have told you before?"

"Ah, yes. I was actually just about to report it to you, President."

"Tell me."

"I have arranged a meeting in a restaurant for you and Mr. Shao Jingfei, the editor of Solitude and Happiness."

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