Rebirth in the Apocalypse: Third Time's a Charm

The goody-two-shoes in me cringed as I walked out of that store, a line of employees following me as there were too many things for me to carry alone. The new me, the two lives smarter me, reveled in the feeling of power, of doing something for myself without caring about what people thought of me.

Opening the door to the empty apartment, I showed the people to the kitchen, and they quickly dropped off the sweets before high-tailing it out as fast as their little feet could carry them. Seriously, they didn't even bother to shut the door behind them when they left.

I guess that customer service only took you so far.

You might ask yourself why I was so adamant that I buy every last pastry and confection in that store and the answer was simple. I needed to prove to myself that I could.

It was not a matter of money, this body had more money than I could spend in a lifetime, let alone a year. It was a matter of throwing off the shackles that I had bound myself in, the mentality that I did not matter as much as the person beside me did. That I needed to take them into consideration before doing anything on my own.

I had lived 40-plus years, two lifetimes, thinking that everyone else's opinion mattered and that their thoughts, beliefs, and actions were more important than mine. For those years I dealt with the hateful comments of "You need to work harder, my son doesn't have enough to eat" and "You don't know what you are talking about, I believe the complete opposite of you, and my opinion is the only thing that matters". After a while, you begin to lose yourself in the quest to make others happy. w

But in this lifetime, I was on a quest to make myself happy.

I was always putting everyone else first, to the point that it killed me. If I truly wanted to start over, to follow my steps to a better life this time around, the first thing that I needed to do was change my attitude, my whole way of thinking. Buying all the sweets in the caf?? was just a bonus.

But I did it. I ignored everyone's feelings, I ignored the hateful looks and the nasty comments. I made a decision, and I followed through on it, despite all opposition. I took my first step of putting myself before others. And it felt good.

It took me 45 minutes to put all the desserts into the kitchen of my space. I wanted to organize everything so that when I had a craving, I could easily find what I was looking for. It was one thing to collect things into my space, it was another thing to have it all organized.

And apparently, my OCD was kicking in.

Only time would tell if my space had the capability to stop time and keep things fresh. Honestly, I didn't particularly care either way. If it did, it would just be icing on the cake. Or more like keeping the icing on the cake

I took a piece of cherry cheesecake out of the fridge and, with my notes and colored markers in the other hand, I left my space.

Once again, I sat down on the floor, my notes around me, and a fork and cake in my hands. Time to get to work.

Step two was to buy a farm, and so far, none seemed to be what I wanted. I would have to put step two on hold for now and think of what step three was going to be.

I couldn't start the big fence or buy animals to fill a space that I didn't yet have... my own space not included.... But I could start collecting shelf-stable food from grocery stores and seeds to plant in the future.

Still under step two: set yourself up for success, a second subset was: to buy seeds and pantry items that will last a while.

This world didn't have mason jars, the most perfect thing in any place, but I could live without them... I guess...if I was forced to... still, I would need the supplies to can things, dehydrators to process fruits, veggies, and meats to make them last longer, and all these things I would want for the future as well.

My list of what I needed seemed to be getting longer and longer the more that I looked at it, but I was fine with that. Money, right now, was not an issue, and I wanted everything on hand to make my life easier later.

Canners, dehydrators, freeze dryers, rice, flour, white sugar, brown sugar, icing sugar, vanilla, fruits, veggies, meats, oils, and sauces all made the list. Luckily I was filling up on cake so my list of desires, while long, was not as impractical as it could be.

As it happens, night slowly crept up, blanketing the world in a darkness and quiet that could only come when the sun went to bed. I walked towards the patio doors, leaning against the glass, and took a deep breath. There were no stars where I was. Oh sure, without the light pollution of the city and the clouds covering them, I knew there were stars out there, waiting for the world to end so they could shine brightly once again.

Me, I reveled in the peace and tranquility of the night. The feeling of a blanket surrounding me like a lover's embrace. I came alive at night in a way that I never did during the day. The night was my time.

I stared out into space a little while longer before going back to my notes and plans for tomorrow. I would start with the supplies and then the food. I had a plan and now all I needed to do was see it through. Feeling calmer than I had in a while, I took out my blankets and made myself a nest in front of the patio doors.

In the quiet of the night, I never would have guessed what would happen next and just how much of an impact on my life it would have.

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