Chapter 261 It's all your fault
As Rachel left and the academy town gate was closed, there was a long silence between them. Felicia remained silent as the carriage pulled out, as did Allen, who had a sad face.
Felicia turned around without saying a word. She went to the river and walked along it. Allen was behind her, following Felicia without knowing where she was going.
The river's crystal-clear waters glistened in the gentle sunlight, creating a picturesque backdrop for the enchanting scene. At the water's surface, you could see a siren swam gracefully. Each splash of water transformed into a small, vivid rainbow that hung in the air for a brief moment.
"Allen, look. Aren't they very pretty?" said Felicia, who finally began to speak.
"I... don't really understand," Allen replied.
"Those sirens are creatures that like to show off their beauty; they use water spirits to create rainbows. For us, their appearance should also be pleasing to the eye. So we pay for their performances with admiration and smiles. Because they like to be praised."
"I see..."
"Gosh, you really can't create a good mood."
"Mood?"
"You're so gloomy today! Walking with you is annoying!"
"Is that so? Susan also said I'm not a good chatter."
As Felicia's gaze remained fixed on the river, devoid of any passing sirens, Allen shared the silence. He raised his head, his eyes drifting upward to the expansive blue canvas of the sky. However, in the depths of his crimson irises, there appeared to be a vacant reflection, as if the boundless sky failed to resonate with his thoughts or emotions.
"I heard about your problem with Miss Jane from Rachel," Felicia said.
Allen had also heard about it from Rachel. Rachel had confided in him the previous night, expressing her intention to divulge the truth about his past to Felicia. The gravity of the situation had hung heavily over him since the moment Rachel left, knowing that Felicia desired an important conversation. As he recalled, Felicia was leading him to the secluded part of the riverside, Remembering that he had deliberately taken her to see the river in the loneliest place. He couldn't help but wonder if it was meant to be a farewell or a form of retribution for his past actions.
Yet, it wasn't the prospect of facing his own punishment that clouded his countenance. Instead, his heart was heavy because he no longer cared about the consequences because he would give his life to Jane one day.
"They say you're a murderer. You killed many of Jane's family soldiers, including her friends who joined the raid into the dungeon."
What made Allen's eyes even darker and his face even grimmer was... the lies that kept piling up.
"That's right; I've knowingly and angrily killed many people with my hands."
Lie after lie kept piling up. It was like a piece of iron was hanging over his heart, which was getting heavier by the day until his heart felt like it would fall out.
"No wonder Miss Jane is so angry."
That night, Rachel told Felicia everything that had happened, with a bit of spice of lies related to Waldo's death.
First, Rachel that the Barkaley family had discovered Allen long before the ill-fated Leofric and Barkaley dungeon raid. So Allen had always been locked up in Barkaley's prison long before the dungeon raid. With this, her suspicion that Allen killed Waldo would disappear.
Secondly, Jane's anger was caused by her friends whom Allen killed. By telling her that Allen is a murderer, Felicia is made to believe and accept Jane's actions toward him. So that Jane and Felicia still have a good relationship.
"What about now?" Felicia's voice trembled with worry as she gazed at Allen.
"Eh?"
"How do you feel now? Would you do it again? Do you regret it?" Felicia's questions hung in the air, heavy with anticipation of Allen's answer. But sure, she knows the answer.
"Of course, I regret it now."
"Then that's enough," Felicia replied with a warm smile, her eyes brimming with understanding. She turned to look at Allen, her words laced with a deep emotional connection.
"I can't imagine the current Allen committing an unprovoked murder.
Allen... I trust you... I will try to make Miss Jane forgive you."
How kind this person is, how forgiving, and how naive this person is. But as soon as he thought of the lie and thought that Felicia might hate him as much as Jane when she found out the truth, it made him sadder.
But he couldn't do anything about it now; he was powerless to change the past.
He could only whisper, "Thank you for accepting me as myself, Felicia. I'll do my utmost to protect you."
…
That night... After Allen and Rachel came out of Kethrillya's particular room. Allen, who saw Rachel still injured in pain because of Jane's stab, tried reaching out her hand.
"Rachel, it seems the healing isn't working as well as it should. Let me try once more," he offered, his voice laced with concern.
-PLACK
Rachel angrily swatted his hand away.
Her eyes bore the same intensity that had haunted Allen for three long years, a constant reminder of his past deeds. Even the passage of time had not dulled the fear those eyes instilled in him."You murderer," Rachel said while holding his hand. Her body trembled, and tears came to her eyes.
-ILLUSTRATION
"You murderer," Rachel seethed, clutching her hand and trembling, tears welling in her eyes. She let her anger and despair flow freely.
"It's all your fault!
It's truly your fault!
Why did you have to kill Mr. Waldo? Do you know what it's like for me to witness Lady pining for him every night? Do you know the agony I endured, crafting lies to protect my made-up lies?
WHY? Why has everything turned out like this? Why did you have to kill Mr. Waldo? Why it was you… who has killed him…"
Allen lowered his head, just like how he had been dealing with the people who scolded him. He was so afraid to look straight into their eyes.
"I... I'm sorry," Allen stammered, the weight of guilt pressing heavily upon him.
Rachel fell into a heavy silence, then slowly turned away, distancing herself from Allen.
"I never should have entrusted Lady Felicia to you," she said with a deep sense of regret, her voice trailing off as she walked away.
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