Again, Allen was dreaming the same dream, where he killed everyone in the dungeon. Every night, The longer Allen remembered everything that happened in his dream: about people he had killed. In the town of Biverlay, bandits, and even Servus entered his dreams.
Repeatedly in his dreams, he felt the sensation of tearing flesh, warm blood splattering on his face and arms. He did that for the sight of his agony filled him with dread and anger, leading him to swing his sword recklessly. This feeling of violence and destruction was something he couldn't control, even when he realized that his enemy had surrendered. The dreams haunted him, filling him with a sense of guilt and shame. They left him with an overwhelming feeling of dread because of the violence he inflicted and the sight of his mother, who he couldn't save.
In his dream, he saw his mother, Queen Orc, standing in front of him with a body full of wounds and a large hole in her body. Queen Orc said
"Allen, humans hate monsters, not fellow humans."
"Mother!" Allen shouted at her.
Queen Orc then smiled,
"Allen, L-" before hearing what his mother said, he found a corpse grasping his leg.
"!!!"
Allen woke up...
Now he fully remembered what happened inside his dream.
Allen fell asleep on the cold wooden floor. As soon as he woke up, he walked to the table and picked up the headband his mother had given him.
He clasped it to his chest, then he sat up, crying.
"Mother... I finally understand what you meant.
I understand why you told me not to hate humans.
But it's too late! I've killed so many humans because of this hatred.
Mother, I was a bad kid...
Even after your death, I couldn't obey your last words."
-TWACK
His door room suddenly burst open, causing him to jolt upright. To his disbelief, standing in the doorway, was Susan holding a steaming pot of homemade soup
"H-how did you get in? I am sure I locked it-"
"Hey Allen... You must have heard about my brother from Mr. Rodion right?" Susan's face looked dark; Allen had no idea what Susan's expression was. All he knew was that her voice was shaking as she asked.
"Yes, I heard it from the master a few days ago.
I am the one who caused your grief. I am responsible for your brother's loss," Allen said, trying to answer it honestly. He was broken this time, and he wanted someone to punish him.
Susan immediately answered Allen's wish,
She hurled the piping-hot soup directly at his face, scalding him in the process. As if that wasn't enough, Susan screamed at him
"You murderer! You murderer! You murderer! You killed young master Barkaley! And you drove my brother away from me!
After you've done all that, you think that by helping people, your sins will be forgiven?!"
"Susa-"
After he wiped the hot soup from his face, he realized that Lord Barkaley was standing behind her, along with Theda, Peter, Iva, Pascoe, and all of the other people whose families Allen had cruelly taken away. It was like a courtroom full of plaintiffs, ready to condemn him.
Lord Barkaley, with a hateful look, said,
"That's funny...
After you killed all their families,
now you're having fun here, cooking for those whose families you killed.
ραΠdαsΝοvεl.cοm What a disgusting peasant.
Once they find out that the food came from the murderer of their family, they will definitely throw the food you made."
Susan then walked back and said
"Allen, I will never forgive you."
The floor of his room suddenly collapsed, then shattered, creating an abyss that Allen couldn't see the end of. He fell into the abyss.
Allen tried to reach out his hands, asking for their help
"Susan! Master Rodion! Peter! Ivaa! MISS LAVINIA!" but they only saw his lowly fallen figure, full of vengeance and hatred. Just like how he had always looked at other humans. He knows that everything he does to others is as cruel as how the prince has taken his mother from him.
Then Allen saw Felicia.
She also stood there, looking at Allen with a face full of disappointment.
"Felicia! Felicia! Please help me!"
"Allen, you failed to protect me. You must have never tried to protect me in the first place. That night you left me alone outside the castle. You only cared about your grudge against Leofric.
Thanks to you, now I can't get up anymore," Felicia said,
Felicia left, letting Allen continue to fall into the abyss.
"NOOO! PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE ME!"
Allen fell off his bed.
He woke up again from his dream.
His body was full of sweat from fear.
"Reig!"
Reig appeared from within his shadow.
"Reig... thank goodness..."
He was relieved to be able to confirm that it was no longer a dream.
The implications of the dream hit him hard - this was his subconscious speaking to him, revealing how much guilt and shame he carried. It was a painful reality check, forcing him to confront the harsh consequences of his past actions.
"Allen, live," said the Queen Orc.
"Allen, live," Isabelle cried.
"Allen, live," Felicia shouted.
All three of them were telling him the same thing.
To live.
Allen hugged his legs together and cried again.
"Am I someone who deserves to live?"
"Is someone like me allowed to live?!"
"No matter how evil someone is, they must have been born from their mother's womb like Iva's two babies.
Their mother must have loved them and waited for them to be born from her womb.
And their mother must have labored hard to give birth to them, just like Iva, who almost lost her life giving birth to those babies."
Allen looked at his hands, which were already calloused from holding swords and blades.
And those calluses were proof of how many times he had killed humans with those two hands…
"These are the hands of a murderer, who has taken away the hopes of many mothers while giving birth to their children."
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