Volume 2 Chapter 42 - The Rowdy School Lunch
"Uhmm… Koneko-chan? What was that for?" Kisuke asked at the approaching student with a deadpan expression.
"I just heard you dissing me," Koneko explained herself to him.
"No, you got it wrong Koneko-chan. I'm not dissing you." Kisuke put on a serious look.
Koneko didn't speak and just urged him to continue.
"Your stature is surely in-demand and a plus point for your cuteness. As a businessman, I guarantee it." Kisuke gave her a light smile.
Koneko smiled feeling a bit happy at his words, but Kisuke next words froze the smile on her face.
"But I'm sure as hell won't purchase one though." Kisuke gave a brighter smile.
Koneko's expression turned cold and those around her has cold sweat on their backs. She didn't say anything else and walked passed him. She grabbed the embedded ball and turned around to throw it again at Kisuke.
"Die!" She only used a substantial amount of force but it's still enough to create rough winds.
Kisuke leaned to the side and jumped back to create more distance from the hulking cat.
Koneko grabbed more stones from the ground and started throwing nonstop at Kisuke, while Kisuke seems to be having fun playing the 'Deadly Dodge Ball'.
"Hey, aren't you going to comment on this ridiculous sight?" Aika asked the trio while looking at the unbelievable scene where a petite girl is throwing rocks like they were bullets cutting the air while the target does all the annoying poses to dodge the deadly bullets.
"So you're not aware of the saying in this neighborhood." Motohama fixed his glasses and looked Aika.
"Saying?" Aika was confused. 'How is that related to this craziness?' She thought.
" 'Never question the freak's existence.' " The trio simultaneously said.
"Kisuke is a freak of nature since he was young and most of the hoodlums in the town probably got a taste of his cane. And it looks like this Koneko Toujo is also a freak." Matsuda followed up.
"What the hell?" Aika is, even more, confused now, but Aika knew she wouldn't get anything from the three idiots and just choose to stop using her brain and watch the event unfold.
Issei is thinking differently, however, 'I can understand Koneko-chan having an ability to do all of that, but what the hell is Kisuke? Buchou told me that he is a human, but can a human really move like that?'
Koneko who saw Kisuke just playing around while dodging her rocks got pissed and started to think that she should just uproot a tree and hurl it at him.
Kisuke who saw the changes in Koneko immediately shouted, "Wait, Koneko-chan, let me explain!"
"You want to eat fruit and there are two available at the store, an orange, and an apple. You like oranges but you don't eat apples. It's obvious which one you would buy right? See my point here?" Kisuke spoke fast.
The four at side were once again speechless, but thinking again, he is absolutely right.
Even Koneko can't say anything against that, but she still approached the tree intending to uproot it and hurl it at Kisuke for real.
Kisuke runs towards Koneko and shouted, "Stop! The tree has done nothing wrong!" He reached her side and grabbed her arm.
Koneko suddenly turned around and jab Kisuke to the stomach. She is using Touki(Fighting Spirit) of Senjutsu to full power. Kisuke knelt as he felt the small fist got buried in his stomach. He didn't use any defensive stance as he wants to appease Koneko even a little bit because he knew teased her too much.
"Is teasing me really that fun?" Koneko looked at Kisuke with cold eyes while he writhes in pain and asked.
"Y-Yes, very much so," Kisuke answered honestly.
"Hmmph." Koneko just snorted at him, "I want some Japanese sweets later."
"Got it." Kisuke sat up and smiled at her.
"She managed to broke through Kisuke's 'Iron Body', really another freak," Motohama commented.
'That is all you want to say?' Aika thought and looked at the two 'freaks' again and felt a little jealous at their interaction. When she reached that point in her thought process, she slapped herself awake, 'Wake up Aika! That's just Kisuke and a big pervert. You don't have to be jealous because of him. Stop being aware because of that little 'kabedon'.'
Koneko sat down beside Kisuke and pulled out a transparent plastic container with colorful macarons in it. She opened the container and picked up one of the macarons and started eating without minding others.
Kisuke reached out to his unfinished lunchbox and continued eating it. The four who are watching felt incredulous at how fast these two change their pace.
They approached the two and the trio also started eating their leftover lunch.
Aika also sat down after Koneko offered her some of her macarons, "Thank you."
They all kept quiet while they finish their food, while the two 'freaks' are having a good time, the rest were feeling a bit awkward. Aika couldn't take the silence and suddenly asked, "Are the two of you really living together?"
"Hmm? Yeah. You didn't believe me?" Kisuke finished his food and drank his tea from his tumbler bottle before he replied.
"I believe you. You're also known as the most honest person in school, it's just that you choose what you say and tend to cause misunderstanding in your words." Aika also finished her macaron and answered Kisuke.
"Kisuke-senpai told me that he would take care of me forever." Koneko suddenly blurted out.
Issei, Motohama, and Matsuda all coughed out their food and said, "Isn't that a proposal!?"
Aika was speechless and her train of thought went into a sudden halt.
Kisuke also spat out the tea he was drinking and looked at Koneko, "Did I word it that way?" Kisuke saw a weird glint in her eyes and followed up, "Eh… well, whatever."
Koneko raised a satisfied smug when she saw Kisuke back down.
"Kisuke you animal! How does it feel!?" Issei shouted at Kisuke. He and the two perverts can't take the injustice. Although Issei already has a good relationship with Asia Argento who he just saves, he is a greedy guy.
"Eh? Feel what?" Kisuke looked at them in confusion.
"Don't play innocent! We mean the u-union of the man and w-woman!" Motohama is very agitated.
Kisuke remembered his experience with Yoruichi and absentmindedly said, "Feels great."
"YOU BASTARD!!!" The perverted trio howled to heaven.
Koneko just pouted slightly and didn't say anything. Aika didn't miss this small action though, 'She isn't the partner? Then who? Toujou-san obviously has some feelings for Kisuke, but she is still somehow getting close to him even knowing Kisuke might have a girlfriend?'
"WE THOUGHT THAT YOUR STRIKE ZONE IS ON THE MATURE SECTION!!!" They continue to cry out.
"Don't question my taste. I at least have a minimum threshold." Kisuke replied back in an attempt to defend his honor.
"Hoho? And what is this minimum threshold of yours?" Matsuda asks while crying tears of blood.
"Hmm… Let's see." Kisuke suddenly stood up and looked at Aika. He walked towards the place where she is sitting and stopped beside her, "Aika-chan here has my minimum requirements." Kisuke rudely pointed to her.
Aika didn't know what to feel, she should be angry but she can't find that emotion. Instead, she is feeling a little bit happy?
"How!? It's very obvious that Aika Kiryuu doesn't have much to speak in terms of breast department." Matsuda stated the obvious… rudely. The two others nodded in agreement.
'I'll smack this perverted trio later with a wooden plank.' Is what on Aika's mind.
"Tch, tch, tch. Kids, you still don't understand." Kisuke shook his head at the three's immaturity.
"What?" The trio was obviously confused.
"It's the hips! It's this wonderful hips!" Kisuke declared to the three.
"Not the boobs?" Issei asked.
"That's why you're still kids, you don't know the wonders of the hips! Aika-chan might be a bit modest at the chest department. But her hips is the most exciting part of her!" Kisuke preached at the three making them stupefied.
Koneko is looking at them like she was looking at an unbearable trash heap.
Aika, on the other hand, is burning red. She's too shy to face Kisuke.
"Hmm? What's this? You're actually shy at this? Don't you often talk about our manhood sizes?" Kisuke questioned her after he saw her state.
Koneko looked at herself, then to Aika. She pours all her frustration onto the macarons in her hands.
Aika noticed Koneko's frustration and wanted to put on her usual smug face, but strangely she can't seem to do it right now.
The trio also saw Aika's reaction and they thought, 'Damned Kisuke, another victim!?'
Aika wouldn't mind talking about this, but she is too aware of Kisuke giving her a new experience as an innocent girl she thought she would never be.
"Kisuke-senpai, please die, twice over!" Koneko snarled at him.
Kisuke returned to his seat and wanted to change the subject, he asked Aika, "Ahem… Aika-chan, you mentioned that you want to ask me something, what is it?"
Aika was woken up when Kisuke called her out. She is still blushing hard but she chooses not to think of what happened earlier for now, "Right, earlier this morning, a rumor is spreading around that you're blackmailing the StuCo President to do you sexual favors."
"What!!?" The trio shouted again. There's just too many bombs around Kisuke today that they weren't able to keep up, "Kisuke you bastard! You got hold of Koneko-chan and you still want to sink your fangs on our lovely StuCo President!?"
"That's slander!" Kisuke shouted back, "I'm just blackmailing her to tease her!"
"Ah… Is that so." The perverts conceded.
"That isn't any better! You're still blackmailing her! And you three! Why did you stop!?" The glasses girl said in disbelief.
"Well, it's Kisuke here we are talking about. We saw him blackmail other people before so we're used to it. And if it's anything not sexual, then we're fine with it." Motohama explained.
"This damned perverts." Aika gritted her teeth at the trio's attitude.
"Senpai, what material are you using?" Koneko joined the conversation.
"Oh… Are you curious?" Kisuke grinned at them and they all nodded like chickens pecking.
Kisuke put down his tumbler bottle and put his hand under the blazer of his uniform. He pulled out a photo and showed it to them, "It's this!"
"This is!?… What's this?" All of them looked confused as they looked at the photo. Truly, the photo has the StuCo President in it, but it's all censored except the embarrassed face.
"I coincidentally and fortunately saw our President in a secluded corner of the school cosplaying as a magical girl," Kisuke explained still with a large grin on his face.
"So you used your 'Instant Camera Shot'. Your fortune is unbelievable." Matsuda commented.
"That's really a thing?" Aika followed up.
"Kisuke, why is censored? Kaichou's embarrassed face is a treat enough, but can't you show us the real thing?" Issei is intently looking at the picture and said.
"Right, aren't we best friends? Show us the whole thing." Motohama can't wait any further.
"You can get the real thing… for a price of course." Kisuke did a money sign with his right hand.
"H-how much!?" The trio was about to attack Kisuke.
"Just 10,000 Yen and-" Kisuke revealed his price and the perverts didn't let him finish speaking.
"We'll take it!!!" They all simultaneously pulled out a 10,000 Yen bill and shoved it in front of Kisuke.
"-and Sh*tori-kaichou's personal grudge.~~" Kisuke finished his sentence and the perverts were frozen.
They remembered the super strict President and shuddered. Those eyes of her can freeze the soul of any student and have her personal grudge? No, thanks.
"Too expensive, I'll pass." Issei is the first one to give up.
"We still value our lives more than a picture." Matsuda and Motohama agreed.
Aika and Koneko sneered at them and continued eating the remaining macarons.
"Don't you have other pictures that won't our lives into danger?" Issei still hasn't given up and asked.
"Hmm… Now that you mentioned it, I do have one." Kisuke thought for a bit and said.
"Really!? Show us!!" The perverts enthusiasm returned.
"Hold on…" Kisuke rummages his blazer again to look for something, and he took out another photo.
"Kyaah!!!" It was Aika who first reacted.
The photo shows Aika who is cuddling a calico cat with a blissful expression that you never expect to see from her because of her usual attitude.
"Why do you have this!?" She grabbed Kisuke collar and shook his while asking.
"Eh… Good fortune?" Kisuke didn't really know what to say as it is another fortunate encounter.
"Hey, do we even need this?" The trio started discussing among themselves.
"Right, it just Kiryuu. But that face is really a rarity." Motohama fixed his glasses and said to the other two.
"You two do know that Kiryuu has some strange fans, maybe we can resell this for 10,000 Yen and upwards." Issei suddenly reminded of something.
"Your right, I personally knew some of them and we can easily fork out some cash from them. It's also our chance to take revenge for all those humiliations." Motohama agreed and proposed.
"So, even if we weren't able to sell it, it should be fine to just distribute it to everyone." Matsuda had this enlightened face.
"These bastards!" Aika heard them clearly as they didn't try to conceal it. She gritted her teeth and promised to get back at them one way or another.
"Let's ask for the price first. Since it's just Kiryuu, it shouldn't be too expensive, but we still have to make sure that there are no strings attached." Issei suggested to the two and they nodded in agreement. They all face Kisuke who was still being grabbed by Aika and ask, "How much is it?"
Kisuke thought for a while and a nasty grin appeared on his face, they couldn't tell the difference though, only Koneko noticed it, 'This guy is up to no good again.' Koneko saw Kisuke looked at her and gave her a wink, she just sighed and thought, 'I only have to help him?'
"Since this a special occasion, this picture is the only copy that can be bought but I'll throw in another one as a bonus for the purchase." Kisuke for the third time rummages his blazer again and took out another photo. It is a photo of Aika being chased by a rabid dog while crying.
"Whaaat!!?" Aika was speechless and started beating up Kisuke but it has no effect whatsoever, "If you're there then you should've helped me you demented bastard!!!"
"Puhahaha" The three idiots started laughing their asses off, "We have to get this!! How much!?" One of them asked.
"60 Yen." Kisuke named his price and all of them stopped moving.
"Printing price!!? My picture is that cheap!?" Aika asked in disbelief. She already stopped beating Kisuke as her hands are already hurting, 'This pervert is too stiff.'
"Ahahaha, what are you talking about, Kiryuu? That's just the price of the photo paper and ink! There is no price for your picture!" Motohama laughed at her face.
"It's time for our revenge! We'll take it!" Matsuda pulled out a 100 Yen coin.
"I'm not letting you lot have it! 500 Yen!" Aika pulled money of her own.
"What? When did this become an auction?" Issei asks and looked at Kisuke.
"500 Yen from this dear customer, any higher bid?" Kisuke ignored him and said.
"Damn it. But it's still cheap for our revenge. 1,000 Yen!" Matsuda raised his hand.
'Crap, I only have 5,000 Yen on me. Maybe they'll back off if I raise the price 5 times just like those tips from the internet?' "I'll bid 5,000 Yen!" Aika raised her voice.
"5,000 Yen from this Miss! Anyone else?" Kisuke raised his fan. He is having fun now, 'I should do this more often.'
"Kukuku, 5,005 Yen." Aika was shocked at this bid. She turned around to the source of the bid and saw Motohama fixing glasses with a smile. 'Damn, he saw through me! He's strangely sharp at times like this. What to do now?'
"5,005 Yen from this gentleman. Any more bids for our item today?"
"Toujou-san, can you lend me some money?" Aika turned to his last resort. She knew the three idiots won't let her bid any longer, and Kisuke is the one selling it so she can only ask Koneko for help.
"I didn't bring any money on me," Koneko answered. All she needs is good food, and she can get it from either the club room or Kisuke's shop so there's no need to bring any money.
Aika was devastated at her answer and saw the trio's smug faces. She gritted her teeth as she wants to bash it to oblivion. Ever since she met Kisuke, more and more thoughts of violence started to rise from her mind. She couldn't win any minds game whenever Kisuke is around and her thought process is slowly proceeding to the not-so-peaceful side.
"Can I pay later?" Aika hasn't given up and turned to Kisuke.
"Nope.~~~"
"Hahaha, Give it up Aika Kiryuu! Tomorrow, your weird fans will fantasize about you using these photos." Matsuda pointed at Aika and declared.
Aika looked at the ground still thinking of the way out while biting her thumb.
"Going once~~~." Kisuke started the countdown
Koneko saw this and approached her side and whispered something to her ear. Aika looked shocked and conflicted at what Koneko suggested. 'Do I really have no choice?'
Koneko returned to her seat and watched the proceeding of the perverts with a deadpan expression.
"Going twice~~~~." Kisuke looked at Aika with a grin.
'Dammit, he's already expecting this! I fell for his trap!' Aika was finally aware.
The trio started celebrating and imagining the expression of various students who will see the photos.
"And s-" Kisuke was about to announce but Aika interrupted him.
"Ahh geez! I don't care anymore! I'll cosplay for you!" She shouted.
"Sold to Aika-chan here!" Hence, the end of 'Doki-Doki' auction.
"WHAT!? What the hell Kisuke!?" Of course, the trio protested.
"It's the buyout price. Nothing I can do." Kisuke shook his head.
"Bullsh*t!"
Aika sighed in relief when she got hold of her pictures. Issei saw this and commented, "You do know that you may have stepped into deeper sh*t, right?"
Aika's face coagulated after hearing this.
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