Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

"I'll let Crux know she's on full patrol today." Evalyn said with a grave expression, "Separate the civilians and get in groups to patrol areas. Let's send a message that monsters can enter their location anytime; we'll use fear to keep people in line.

You're authorized to use lethal force, but we should avoid killing at all costs."

"Understood, General Skye." Sandra nodded, studying the blonde's complex expression, "Is there something else bothering you? You look conflicted."

"No, I'm not conflicted; I'm just thinking." Evalyn chuckled bitterly, memories of the Immortal Skye parties flashing before her eyes, "I'm realizing that my outlook on training and leadership was flawed from the start.

I should've paid more attention to what Kaze was doing."

"I don't think you should compare you two's situations." Her captain asserted, "While he's been training peaceful people with high morale for a month, you're working with political landmines which were already warring before you came here.

Cultivation training can't prepare you for the horrors of war, and less than half of the Immortals got any experience last time. You're doing the right thing."

"Don't misunderstand." Evalyn replied somberly, "The flaw isn't my training or philosophy; otherwise, Kaze wouldn't have trained me like this.

However, when Kaze and Crux trained me, the faction was peaceful, morale was high, and all the work was getting done. So I could train around the clock like this.

These soldiers must train and do the work, which requires morale they don't have. So training like this was never an option. That is the flaw that I didn't see."

"I see." Sandra replied sympathetically, "But that underscores the real problem, right? You're comparing yourself against someone when your situations are apples and oranges."

"You're wrong." The blonde laughed, shaking her head, "Kaze created that advantage by tackling every problem we're now facing while I silently criticized his solutions.

I criticized the Luxe and RP system as childish, thinking soldiers shouldn't need incentives to do their jobs. Now, his incentives have Immortals training non-stop after work with maximum morale.

I judged the Underground Bizarre, letting [bombshells] run freely and throwing parties. Now, I realize they keep morale high and resentment and stress down.

Now, the stress and resentment those systems mitigate are poisoning our people, breaking down communication and cooperation, and sparking conflict.

I would've always ended up here, Captain Mills; this is on me."

"I suppose you're right." Sandra replied, trying to suppress her astonished expression, "That man... is there anything that he is bad at?"

"Being monogamous and losing." Evalyn chuckled wryly, "That's all I've found so far."

The soldier snorted uncharacteristically, cupping her mouth in embarrassment. "Ahem! So are you giving up on winning your bet?"

"I don't give up." The Ice General grinned fearlessly, "After admitting my mistakes and ignorance of economics I think I've developed a strategy to turn this around—and it's a game changer."

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-

Meanwhile, at Immortal Skye, training continued as usual. However, contrary to Evalyn's viewpoints, it was far cry from peaceful, and cooperation wasn't common.

"Dayyyyyyymn." Kiera said dramatically, "I feel like if your hormones got hit with a final boss debuff you could still make a baby just by looking at each other."

"I-It's not like that." Veronica said, turning beet red and looking away like an embarrassed schoolgirl caught holding hands with her crush. The life in Jake's eyes disappeared as well, but everyone expected as much.

Kylie giggled, seeing the duo looking so cute.

"It's not?" Kiera gasped cutely, "Giiiiiiirl, hold the phone, pick up the convo, and drop the deets—what level of power cuddle do you have to be at to nuke a crowd with Level 99 phermones? I'm 15 seconds from calling Kaze here to put me out of my misery."

Sage developed a slight smile on her bitter face, caught up in Kylie's giggling. Even Martha, more relaxed now that she wouldn't die in practice, smiled involuntarily.

"Guys…." Jake blushed with a mortified expression.

"Bro, why are you looking so bashful?" Kiera asked in perplexion, "You just went to the planet of the giants and caught yourself a mythical-grade pixie—that's a big fuckin' deal.

She'll be able to fly again in six months, and you'll be in for a magical treat. Brag about it."

Kylie snorted in laughter, watching Veronica turn red to the tip of her ears, hearing Kiera call her a mythical-grade pixie. Jake felt lucky, Sage was amused, and Martha couldn't help but smile.

No one understood why the slang riddler was so happy and charming, but the bright smile on her face stole everyone's heart away.

It was hard to imagine she spent two days mercilessly degrading Sage. Everyone adored her, slightly understanding why Kaze loved her so.

"Ahem. Whatevs." Kiera cleared her throat, "Now that you've found your inner zen—let's fuck it all up. Lot~us, party peoples.

We're working on the basics. If you can't cultivate well, you can't become proficient in Qi control. And if you can't regulate your Qi, you're straight fucked against the gaudy Skythenians.

You learned that yesterday when Exhibit A roasted your ass despite being outnumbered, right?

Luckily, you can learn breathing and Qi control simultaneously, so let's hit it. It's back to waterfalling."

Martha frowned, hearing the plan.

"Hmmm?" The slang riddler hummed, "If you're planning to diss our training regiment—just don't. Consider that—"

"No, no!" The cultivator cried, fearing that she offended her, "I'm just shocked that you'd teach waterfalling to people who just learned a heaven-grade technique… that feels like you're trying to tame a cyclone. Waterfalling is a very advanced technique… right?"

Advanced? It took masters a century to learn and master waterfalling in the Sky Plane—for one technique. She couldn't even do it properly!

"Cor~rect." Kiera smacked, "It's not just you—I'm guessing most people can't waterfall correctly.

But that's because they don't have sexy~chalk or a death trainer. Moving~on, let's get ya marked up."

She turned to the cultivator mockingly when she didn't get into the lotus position. "That means you, cock repellent.

If you don't learn how to cultivate right, you'll be low-key useless even with half days."

The brunette's face heated up in humiliation, getting told that she couldn't cultivate properly by a mortal who had just got introduced to cultivation a couple of months prior!

Getting called hideous was the least offensive bit of her statement!

"Yeeeeeeeeaahhhhhhh-hhaaaaaa~" Kiera yawned, stretching her limbs, "I know you're real offended and all, but can you save that shit for later?

Otherwise, we'll have to restart the whole [oh no, my ego is crushed—AND I look stupid!] dynamic. And I gotta tell ya, Skythenian. Livin' around Kaze—it's gettin' pretty old."

Martha's eyes narrowed, but she yielded and got into the lotus. There wasn't the slightest bit of doubt written in the teen's expression, making her wary. "I was just curious."

"Nothing wrong with pickin' apart greatness lady." Kiera smirked, "You ready super pixie?"

Veronica rolled her eyes with a smile and nodded, closing her eyes and cultivating.

pAn,Da n<0,>v,e1 Martha smirked when an erratic vortex of the Qi rushed into her meridians like a large-mouth drain without a plug. She was an amateur!

The cultivator's eyes got drawn to a piece of blue chalk that materialized out of a strange gold-glowing spatial ring on the slang riddler's finger.

"What is she doing?" Martha muttered in confusion, "She couldn't possibly draw a waterfall… pat…tern."

Her jaw progressively lowered as she watched Kiera mark clockwise circles in an intricate pattern!

"Is that a zen garden!?" Martha scoffed under her breath, watching the pattern get increasingly complex, "And why is that woman moaning!? Wait, what—how!?"

The cultivator had never been more flustered in her life. Kiera was drawing an abstract psychedelic freestyle on Veronica's white v-neck, the latter started moaning, and as if the sex gods approved—the Qi started waterfalling!

Sure, it was extremely crude, but it was waterfalling! It was like the pixie found enlightenment in a mild orgasm and doubled her skill. And it only got more extreme!

"Turn it off—turn it on only at the top." Kiera reiterated.

Veronica nodded and took a deep breath, cutting off her cultivation and restarting it directly from the top.

"N-No way!" Martha cried, watching the Qi waterfall fluctuating between a trickling waterfall and a broken faucet.

It was clear it would take a year to get it to a respectable place, and a year wasn't even a century! It was a hundred times less than a century!

She just watched a once-in-a-century genius learning cultivation!

Kiera ignored her and turned to Kylie with a light frown. "If you claim this is sexual—"

"You'll rip off my nipples to use as the nibs of your and Kaze's baby bottles." Kylie replied sassily, making the teen's frown deepen.

"Yep." Kiera replied dryly, "Let's get this over with."

Martha watched in disbelief as the same scene played out with Kylie! Not one genius but two!? Moreover, the pink-haired-one said it [wasn't] sexual, so what was going on!?

"What about you?" Kiera asked the depleted redhead.

"I'd appreciate it if you would." Sage sighed. There was a difference between a [life debt] and a training exercise, so it wasn't a big deal—especially since she owed Kiera three life debts!

Martha watched in disbelief as the stewing redhead developed a genuine smile, feeling the chalk moving across her back. "Is this why she called it sexy chalk?"

After Sage's minor relief session resulted in explosive results, as customary, the teen looked at the cultivator with a smirk.

"There you have it." Kiera clapped, turning to Martha, "It's your turn. Try not to water the grass—this is one of the few places in the Mortal Plane that [doesn't] need more Soul Qi."

Martha blushed furiously, connecting the fiery teen's meaning. She looked at the chalk with trembling eyes, afraid of undergoing an orgasm touching it.

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