Two weeks had already passed since the start of my university life.
Both Eun-ha and I had naturally adapted to our changed routines.
-“Lee Han-gyeol. Could you show me your notes for Intro to Business Management? I couldn’t take notes because I had to go to the hospital today.”
“That should be in my locker. Uh, number 76. Just take it out, copy it, and put it back. And buy me a can of coffee.”
-“Sure~”
I hung up the phone and refocused on Eun-ha sitting in front of me.
“Who was that? A classmate?”
“Yeah. She went to the hospital and asked to see my notes. I told her to get it from my locker.”
“If it’s your notes, they must be super detailed. Is a can of coffee enough?”
I wanted to tell her to buy me a meal at the cafeteria, but I didn’t want to make Eun-ha uncomfortable.“I can ask for a favor later. Don’t we have to head to class soon?”
“Yeah...! I want to hang out with you a bit more, though. Want to audit my class?”
“That’s a bit much~ I’ll study at the library until my class starts.”
“Your class ends at five, right? Then I’ll come to your lecture hall after I’m done.”
“Got it~ Let’s get going. You’ll be late, Eun-ha.”
“Alright~”
After leaving the campus cafe, Eun-ha walked off to her class.
She’s been looking tired lately with all the assignments. Maybe we should go out for some fresh air this weekend.
Living together means we’re always around each other in the evenings, but having different classes makes me feel a bit lonely.
Eun-ha used to sit next to me every day in high school...
“It’s a bit sad.”
I watched Eun-ha enter the academic building and then headed to the library.
It’s only been two weeks since the semester started, and it’s rare to see freshmen in the library.
But I don’t have time to waste…
I need to study for TOEIC and prepare for certifications before I forget.
I’ll spend my twenties in university, then enlist next year.
I’ll probably be twenty-three, a second-year student, when I return.
By then, Eun-ha will be a fourth-year, about to graduate.
Even if Eun-ha gets a job, I’ll still be a student for two more years, and it might take even longer if I consider job hunting.
In my opinion, the difference between a working professional and a student is quite significant.
Financial conditions and daily routines are quite different...
So it’s better to prepare to get a job as soon as possible.
Should I take summer classes to meet early graduation requirements?
Maybe I should also start volunteer work early.
Once I started thinking, my thoughts kept spiraling until it was time for class.
When I arrived at the lecture hall, Seunghoon had saved me a seat.
“Lee Han-gyeol. I saved you a seat here.”
“Thanks. But why do you look like that?”
“Don’t even ask... We drank until five in the morning. I feel like dying.”
“Lee Han-gyeol... If you had been there, we might have drunk less.”
Seunghoon and Jaehyun, who were sitting next to me, had recently been attending drinking sessions every day, saying they were releasing the stress of being exam-takers.
Well, if there were typical freshmen, they would probably be more like Seunghoon and Jaehyun. I guess I’m the odd one for quietly going to the library.
“We’d probably have all passed out together.”
I answered as I took my writing tools out of my bag.
“They’re right, Lee Han-gyeol. Why don’t you ever drink with us?”
“What? Were you here?”
“Could you please pay attention to me? I’ve been here from the start!”
The girl sitting in front of me was named Chae-in Jeong. I had seen her at lunchtime on the first day, and she was the one who kept making me drink at the welcome party.
She had a cheerful and bold personality and already had a good reputation in our department.
“Did you put my printouts in the locker?”
“Of course. Oh, by the way, we’re going to have drinks with the seniors after school today. You should come too. Seunghoon and Jaehyun are coming.”
“Can’t you see these guys are half-dead? How are we supposed to drink with them?”
I said, looking at Seunghoon and Jaehyun.
“Let’s ask them. You guys want to go drinking, right?”
They quietly raised an OK sign while lying on their desks.
Crazy. Their livers must be rotting away.
“See, they’re coming. You should come too, Lee Han-gyeol.”
“Sorry. I don’t really enjoy drinking that much, and I get terrible hangovers the next day.”
“Hmm—then I’ll be your black knight. Just trust me. I can drink well!”
“No, thanks. I don’t really enjoy crowded places.”
“You didn’t come to the MT* either.”
“For the same reason.”
I kept refusing, but I felt like if I kept saying no, I’d start to feel out of place. But Eun-ha said she’d come pick me up after class, so it’s not possible today.
“I have plans today, so I can’t. How about next Wednesday? I can make it then.”
“Oh—! You better keep that promise! Let’s drink with our classmates next Wednesday.”
“Sure.”
I wonder if Eun-ha would be okay with it.
****
“That’s it for today’s class. Good job, everyone.”
As soon as the three-hour lecture ended, everyone rushed out of the lecture hall.
I was about to contact Eun-ha on my phone when I saw her sitting at a table in front of the vending machine.
She looked around for me among the students and smiled as soon as our eyes met.
I was about to walk over to Eun-ha when Cha-in blocked my way.
“Han-gyeol! I forgot to give you the can of coffee I promised.”
She handed me the can of coffee and walked away.
Receiving a can of coffee from a female classmate right in front of my girlfriend... Is this okay?
Now that I think about it, I didn’t mention earlier that the person borrowing the printouts was a girl.
Eun-ha, sitting at the table, was watching Cha-in walk away rather than looking at me.
This is trouble.
“Eun-ha.”
“Oh—yeah! Must’ve been tough with all those classes.”
“Not really~ Shall we head back?”
I tried to act as if nothing had happened.
But Eun-ha kept glancing at the can of coffee in my hand.
“Was the person you lent the printouts to a girl?”
“Oh—yeah. I forgot to mention that.”
“Oh, why make a big deal out of it? Let’s go.”
We left the campus and headed towards our place.
Given how quiet she was today, it seemed like it did bother her.
What did we usually talk about when heading home?
Why can’t I think of anything to say now?
Before Eun-ha brought it up—
“So, are you close with that girl?”
Eun-ha’s slightly chilly words broke the silence.
“We’re not that close... She’s just one of those people who gets along with everyone in the department. That kind of relationship.”
“I see. Sorry for asking. I was just curious because I didn’t know her... Haha! What should we have for dinner? How about buying some tofu and making tofu stew? Or kimchi stew?”
Eun-ha is more rational than I often realize.
She might seem emotional on the surface, but she possesses a significant amount of rational judgment.
When determining right from wrong, she tends to rely on objective facts rather than her emotions.
I think we’re similar in that regard, but she maintains this objectivity even in our relationship.
Just like now.
It’s rare to find someone who wouldn’t feel anything in that situation.
I would also wonder if someone gave Eun-ha a can of coffee.
But from an objective viewpoint, it’s nothing more than a small thank you for lending printouts.
That’s why Eun-ha discarded her subjective feelings and apologized for asking.
It would be nice if she were more honest about her feelings. Lately, it seemed like she was hiding them a bit.
“Sometimes I think you’re quite a rational person, Eun-ha.”
“Hmm?! Me?! Really...?! Mom always nagged me for being clumsy sometimes...!”
“Well... It might seem that way on the surface, but you have a very cool-headed way of looking at things.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“It’s a good thing. But do you need to be like that in a relationship? You can be more honest with your feelings.”
When I gently leaned in, Eun-ha took a step back and said, “B-but...! That girl was simply returning the favor to you, Han-gyeol! It’s a bit much for me to make a fuss over that, don’t you think?”
“So you were thinking that way. But if someone gave you a can of coffee, I think I’d feel a bit uneasy. Isn’t that the same for you? Or is it just my imagination?”
It’s a bit ironic to be saying this when I’m the one who received the can of coffee, but it’s best to get this out in the open.
“Of course, it does bother me a bit, but...”
“I don’t think we need to be so objective in a romantic relationship. Relationships are fundamentally emotional, right? So it’s okay to express your feelings more openly.”
Eun-ha pondered for a moment before speaking.
“Really...?”
“Yeah. You used to speak your mind more often. Why are you hiding your feelings lately?”
“That’s because—”
“Go on, tell me.”
Eun-ha hesitated, then looked me straight in the eyes and spoke.
“I think I have a strong sense of possessiveness over you. When you’re not around, I keep wanting to see you and talk to you. When we were always together, I didn’t realize it, but now that we’re apart, I feel like I might become overly attached, so I thought I should restrain myself.”
“Oh, Eun-ha, you don’t have to worry about that. If it ever feels overwhelming, I’ll let you know.”
“Really...? But you’re so kind that I feel like you’d just put up with it and try to understand.”
She was right. If Eun-ha had felt that way, I would probably have acted exactly as she described.
Eun-ha sees right through me.
“Your silence is telling, isn’t it?”
“Well...! But now that we’re talking about it, I’ll be honest. If it ever feels like too much, I’ll tell you directly, so you should also feel free to speak your mind.”
“Really...?”
“Yeah.”
“Really, really, really...? You won’t hate me?”
“I could never hate you, Eun-ha.”
After thinking for a moment, Eun-ha opened up and started speaking rapidly, letting out everything that had been on her mind.
“Don’t get too close with other girls! No being alone with another girl! Don’t create situations where another girl might find you attractive. I’m not saying you should be mean, but don’t go out of your way to help them either. I don’t want anyone falling for your kindness. It’s fine to lend your printouts, but nothing more than a can of coffee in return...”
“What about group activities, like drinking together?”
“It’s fine if there are guys too... But no black-knighting for girls! And don’t take a girl home if she’s drunk! Call me if a girl needs help!”
“Got it. Thanks for being honest. You should have told me sooner.”
I smiled and pulled her cheek playfully.
“There’s still one more important thing.”
“What is it?”
“Since we can’t have any physical affection at college... give me more affection at home!”
--- The End OF The Chapter ---
[TL: MT: Membership Training (MT) is an event held among university students in South Korea. These events last roughly two days and are considered a free-form training session, where students spend time socializing with peers in the same academic majors or clubs, often at a remote location.
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