My Servant System



Entering my room, I let go of her wrist and threw my stuff onto my bed, plopping down beside the pack and looking towards the Lioness, my eyes narrowed as I said "We can talk now. So talk."

Taking a deep breath, she grabbed a nearby chair and pulled it over towards my bed, taking a seat in front of me and remaining quiet for a moment, just staring at me as she gathered her thoughts.

"Katherine made a point. I was unfair to you. I was unfair to you in so, so many ways... Pushing ideals onto you that I knew deep inside were ideals that you would reject. I tried to force you to court me like you were a Noble, even though I know you despise acting on those expected actions. It was never in your nature to act like a Noble, even when your parents would ask you to accompany me to any of those events... I knew that, and yet I wanted to experience what I'd seen happen to my peers, to go through the proper steps of being courted so that I could feel like a Lady, even if I am a warrior first and foremost. I just..."

She let out a sigh, resting her head in her hands and shrinking in on herself a little, the Lioness who usually stood tall and proud now slumped back on a chair.

"I just wanted to feel that special feeling that they were talking about. To feel like I was being swooned by someone who wanted to treat me like a Lady... Even then, I knew you wouldn't want to do so, that you might still try, but it would feel unauthentic and forced. Something that I didn't want to hear, yet something I still wanted you to try to do, to try and woo me, to treat me like a Lady..."

"But you just said it! You KNEW I wouldn't do it, because I don't do that flowery shit! So why were you getting angry at me for not doing something that you knew I wouldn't do?! What sense does that make?!"

The Lioness just smiled wryly at me as she shrugged her shoulders, looking back up at me with a tired expression and answering in a quiet voice "It makes no sense... but I just didn't care. I... wanted that feeling. Seeing all of our friends from when we were children, listening to their stories and listening to my cousins talking about how their spouses had courted them, or how they went about wooing their lovers and asking for their hands in marriage. I... I had been on the battlefield for so long, and... well..."

Drumming her fingers on her knee, the Lioness sighed again before continuing on, her golden eyes slightly distant as she looked at the floor.

"It... was something that I had always wanted when I was a kid, y'know? Just as much as I wanted to be a Knight, just as much as I eventually wanted to be a Commander as well. I wanted to have that magical experience of being courted, being treated like I was some... damsel in distress, some fragile girl who needed to be protected by her strong partner..."

That made me raise a brow as I stared at the Lioness, her words a tad surprising and making her chuckle wryly as she stared back at me, shrugging her shoulders.

"Yes, I know... the young Commander of a Legion, who has a rather storied career so far in her short time spent inside the military, wanted to be treated not like a soldier or a warrior who was capable of defending herself, but instead like a frail, weak Noblewoman that needs protecting. Stupid, isn't it? It's so stupid... but it's what I want. It's what I've wanted since I was a kid, even if it makes no sense for someone like me. I... want the same thing my parents had, y'know?"

"But why try to force it? If you wanted someone to protect you, someone to be your rock or whatever, I was more than able to do that Adelina! So why take something that had been going so well and sour it with those last few weeks?! And why were you so determined that I was going to make you do something you didn't want to do?!"

She nodded quietly, her golden eyes still locked to mine as she answered "I don't know. Those months spent together were some of the best in my life, but... you know what my family is like. The beliefs we hold. When... when you saw me like that..."

Her cheeks reddened as she looked away, the woman taking a breath before continuing on, saying "I saw the way your gaze changed afterwards... it scared me a little, how you showed such blatant desire, such lust. I knew about your past, how you were... open. It made me worried that you would want me to do something... and you did eventually ask."

"I asked, yes, but that was all; I wasn't pressing or pressuring you to do anything. I didn't remember how strict your beliefs were, so I thought we could try to do something... tame. But I never pushed you to do so; you made it sound like I was going to push you down and take you by force! I would have never done that Adelina! And yet each time I tried to tell you that, whenever I tried to tell you that I was fine remaining celibate until we married, even if that was years down the road! I told you that I was willing to do so, that I didn't need anything! But you just blew up on me about it whenever I said anything!"

She nodded again, her cheeks still incredibly red as she said "I... I have no real reason for that... I was scared, I was worried, and I just refused to hear reason. I thought that you would ask for more and more, ask for me to break my beliefs for you... and I couldn't stand that. It was eating me away inside, and I just couldn't stand it."

Rubbing my temples, I let out a sigh before looking at her, muttering "So, was that it?"

Adelina flinched, the Lioness wringing out her hands as she looked back towards me, her golden eyes unsure as she replied "I... I don't want it to be it."

Getting up, I loomed over her and whispered "Are you sure you don't want that to be it, Adelina? Are you going to be able to be realistic this time..? Are you going to be able to accept that I won't be your valiant, dashing Knight in shining armor treating you like a princess all the time, but instead treating you like my equal? My lover? I'm not gentle and noble, Adelina, but crass and honest. I want to be with you again, I really do, but if you can't accept me for who I am, then we shouldn't do this."

Crouching down, I looked her straight in the eyes, my hands resting on hers as I added "Seriously Adelina... I want to be with you again. I want to hold you and walk with you, to train with you and joke with you. I want to eventually... maybe, potentially, have a future with you. Create something that we see all of our peers creating around us. I accept that there would be some hardships with that, but if I can't trust that you won't close yourself off and refuse to listen and communicate, then I don't want to risk this. So tell me, can you change? It's not like I'm not changing for this either, so are you willing to change with me, so that we can work? So that there can be an 'us'?"

Rubbing my thumbs over the back of her hands, I quietly waited for her answer, idly realizing that all the anger and irritation that I felt earlier had washed away, that everything I felt negatively about for this interaction had been swept away by hope and something else.

Something warm.

That warmth only spread as Adelina gave me her reply, though it wasn't verbal.

The Lioness took a deep breath before nodding, and before I could say anything she leaned forwards and pressed her lips against mine, giving me her answer that way.

Of course, we had kissed before, though it was sparingly and rather tame, so I felt the need to hold back even as I wanted to slide my tongue between her lips and taste her directly.

One of my hands found themselves on her cheek, and I was preparing to pull back when she leaned closer, surprising me again, though that surprise continued to rise as she clumsily tried to deepen the kiss, her tongue brushing against my lips.

A low growl reverberated in my throat, and before I knew it I was pulling the Lioness towards the bed, pinning her beneath me and enjoying the taste of hawthorn that she willingly gave me as she accepted the kiss.

For a few moments we remained there, but I had to pull away as I hoarsely whispered "While I very much enjoyed that, Adelina... We should stop before I... Let's just take this slowly, alright..?"

She panted under me, before her eyes trailed downwards and caught sight of something that made her blush, and the Lioness gave me a demure nod as she remained laying down.

Standing up, I moved away and tried to clear my mind, but the lingering taste of hawthorn made that a rather hard task...

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