My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

He gulped. 

What? But how? It was impossible. Gulping's impossible. He's never gulped before in his life! Only pussies do gulping! And he, Tyler Leaden The First, was no pussy. A 110% percent certified manly man.

Except when it came to her. It's only when it's her, it's strange, so strange, like everytime she pops into his mind, which was all the time, well… he gulped again. Why? Hell if he knows, probably just past trauma, right? I mean, makes sense, right? She did scare the absolute shit of him when they first met. Seriously, didn't only bats snarl like that? Did the discovery channel lie to him or something? 

Okay, fine - he's a pussy! But he's a proud pussy! Why shouldn't he be? It takes balls to face your fears, but it takes guts to try and date them instead. Now all that's left to do was wait. Big Man said he'll talk to her, and he's been gone an awfully long time… so it must be a really long talk in there. 

Tyler leaned back against the hood of his car, funneling free the butterflies from out his stomach with a long, almost suffocating breath… only to immediately swallow them back down again with another gulp. Because like, what if she says no, dude? 

Rejection like that, oof.

He's used to hearing no, though. Denial's like an old friend to him, he's used to picking himself back up after being turned away by plenty of babes, it ain't usually a big deal. 'No' is no problem. But for some reason, it was now.

Suddenly, a loud slam echoed in his ears. Tyler raised his head, and almost threw up his own beating, nearly exploding heart. 

There she was, for real this time. Not like in his dreams, not like in his imagination playing out this moment in his head over and over again. And how does he know that it was real? Because, no matter how hard he pushed his thoughts, he could never ever replicate how truly beautiful she looked in real life.

Tyler stood frozen at the spot, just lost in the sight of her quickly approaching him. Then something popped up in his head, and at once he found himself - shitting bricks, that is.

What was her name again?

How? How could he have forgotten her name? He was just saying it, just singing it to the high heavens! How could he have forgotten it so quickly?

"H-hey, yo…" He stammered, pausing, come on, think of something! "Gurl…"

Perfect.

But Amelia didn't stop approaching, in fact, it was like she didn't even hear him. 

Five feet… three feet… one… 

All of a sudden, he was back finding his back pressing hard against the hood of his car, except now, her hand, and her unusually sharp fingernails poked hard at his chest. She looked at him, a dangerous glint in her dark black eyes.

"You've taken a liking to me, haven't you?" She said to him, half derisive, half terrifying, and full-on a turn on to the senses. "According to my sister, and that complacent fool of a hero, they say you find me greatly attractive and wish for nothing more than to find yourself in the grace my company, is that right?"

Tyler was confident he understood like… at least a fraction of her words. That's good enough, right?

"Y-yeah…" He affirmed, nodding vigorously, putting his hands up in surrender. Her nails were starting to hurt. "I-I think you're cute, and you know, I thought if you'd like… you want to hang?"

"No, I don't," She answered immediately, fervently, then took a step back, and spoke with a little less force. "But seeing as I have no choice but to indulge your clearly superficial desires. Very well, then… let us 'hang', shall we?"

Then without another word, she clambered into his car, passenger-side, leaving Tyler just standing there with a sharp stinging at his belly, and only one thought drifting through his head, 'Shit, that was hot'.

This was actually happening. He was baffled, amazed by his own luck. But now he had another problem to face - now what?  He never thought he'd get this far, and now that he had… shit, he doesn't even know what she likes to do.

"Fuck it," He muttered, smiling cool and smiling slick. "Smooth talk all the way, baby. She likes to talk. I drive, she's bound to open up to me, right?"

Tyler thought it was a sound plan… but unfortunately, it seemed that he was deaf all along, because no matter how long he drove and drove, she just kept quiet, refusing to look anywhere else but out the window. 

But Tyler wasn't discouraged, as always, he played it cool. He wasn't the number one superstar for nothing, after all. If there's one thing he's good at, then talking was number one.

So, sipping a breath, he took his chance. "You wanna grab a bite to eat first?"

He heard her sigh, and the way that sigh sounded, it was like it was inconvenient to her to even speak.

"No," She muttered. "I don't eat."

"You don't eat?" He chuckled at that, funny joke. "C'mon now, you like burgers?"

At a red light, Tyler glanced at her, his amused smile slowly fading as he found a piercing glare staring right back at him. 

"I don't," She stiffly repeated herself, "Eat." 

Once again, Tyler found himself gulping air. "Alright, not hungry, got it." He then wracked his head for any more ideas, and by the time the green light blinked go at his windshield, he was smiling again. "Not sure if anybody else told you - but you're different, you know that?" 

She gave a snort. "Oh indeed, what a fascinating observation by someone who has only known me for mere minutes. I am different. Why, I never would have known."

"Yikes, your tongue lashes hard, man." 

"And it will continue to lash at you so long as you continue to find yourself in my presence. In case you are not understanding - I do not wish to be here, and as such, I will continue to act as so." 

"Ah, I see," Tyler nodded. "Hard-to-get, right? I played this game before, pretty much an expert by now. I'm cool, it's cool."

She furrowed her brow. "Hard to - what?" 

"Never fear, I'm confident I can change your mind! Doesn't matter what it'll take, but I'll make sure you enjoy yourself by the end. It's the guy's duty, after all." 

"Oh, will you now?" She jeered. "And just how do you plan on doing that?"

"Like everybody else in the whole wide world," He steered left. "I'll learn your hobbies, your interests, your likes, what you enjoy doing - the whole nine yards, man! You'll see, I'll get you to see me in a better light."

"Will I now?" She continued to mock, smiling now, her lips curling wrly. "As if you'll come to know any of that. I have no reason, no desire to tell you anything. How will you even learn, I ask you?"

"Already learning, ain't I?" Tyler nudged at her. "Been driving ten minutes, and this the most you've ever talked to me in that time, so that's enjoyment number one! You love a good conversation, don't cha? Big words, long sentences, you love to hear yourself talk, right?"

For once, she didn't respond right away. She blinked, her smile faltering, and her brows furrowing at him. "This is not a good conversation." 

"No?"

"No."

"Then stop talking."

"You stop talking."

He smiled at her, right on the money he was. Being a steamer, internet-man, you tend to meet a variety of folks. Big, small, nice, not so nice. Over the years, he's gonna be good at adapting to each and every size, so that at the end, even if folks didn't like him at the beginning… they'll always like him in the end.

"Do you like shopping?" He asked.

"No."

"Have you ever gone shopping?"

"No." 

Tyler immediately flicked on his blinkers, taking a sharp turn upon hearing those words. "We're going shopping."

She snarled. "I told you I don't - !"

"Yeah, I know what you said," He quickly interjected, backing away slightly because he had a strange notion that those sharp fingernails there were actually real. "But you also said you won't tell me what you like, so I'm gonna have to wildly guess, don't I?" 

"And what if you guess wrong, hm?"

"Well… I guess I'm just gonna have to guess again, huh?" 

"So much persistence, it boggles me," She spoke wearily. "Daft as you are, surely you must know I am deliberately trying to be as belligerent as possible."

"Belligerent… that means annoying, right?" 

She looked affronted. "Annoy - ?"

"Yeah, I kinda get your strat. You trying to wear me down, try and make yourself as unflattering as you can get, so that you'll turn me away," Tyler nodded his head, stopping at another light. "Here's the thing, dude. I ain't going away. Once I set my eyes on something, I never look away. So it really doesn't matter what you do, man," He stared at her. "'Cause I'll never look away from you."

There was a moment of silence between them, a moment where only their eyes spoke, but their lips didn't. But then behind them, a car came honking - interrupting. The stoplight was green, but Tyler wasn't moving.

"Oh shit," Immediately he stepped onto the pedal, focusing his gaze back onto dashboard. "Yeah, that's the gist of it. You can either keep being belli… bellige… detergent, or you can just chill and - "

"Amelia." 

Tyler gulped. "Hah?"

"You keep referring to me as 'man' or 'dude', I am getting weary of it," Amelia said quietly. "If you have to address me, call me by name." 

That's right. That's her name. What a fucking idiot he was to forget it. But it's all good now 'cause he finally got it back, and the best part was… he didn't even have to ask.

"Alright, Amelia…" He said, feeling his lips smirk at the mention of her name. "Hey, by the way, do you like having makeovers?"

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