My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Hard to ignore being ignored. Especially in a way so abrupt, and having not a chance to wonder why. Her siren lights dimmed, and her engine whirred, cruising out the driveway without even giving a single glance back.

Either she has a problem with me or I have a problem with her, and seeing as how I was the one doing their damndest to get in touch with her…

The hell's up with you, Irene?

Whatever, you can run now, and perhaps later too… but hiding you can't possibly do. Fate's fickle and loves a laugh, we're always bound to cross paths again… it's all written in the stars.

Worst comes to worst, maybe sometime someday your little radio there will buzz in another call for aid at something-something street at something-something lane.

Yeah, I'll go that far… maybe… we'll see...

Anyway, a little further beyond the driveway, and behind from a morning-dewed windshield, Amanda took the police cruiser's departure as her cue to leave and waved us an impromptu farewell as well.

Just as the sound of her engine began to grow distant and far, the phone in my pocket buzzed and brightened. I took it out and found out why.

<<Don't forget, Saturday! See you there ~ ~ >>

I shot her back with a reminder of my own. 

<<Don't text and drive, you idiot.>>

Reply was almost instantaneous. 

<< <3 >>

Nice heart there, just make sure it doesn't end up on a donor list in some hospital somewhere, okay? 

Finally, once the dust had settled, I shambled into home sweet home, Ash's shoulder my ever sturdy crutch to lean on. Before my eyes could even adjust in time from the outside to the in, I was already scouring the halls and chambers looking for my jester, like it was a game of hide and seek.

Turns out he wasn't very good at the game, it only took two seconds - couldn't really tell at first, but there was no mistaking it at a closer glance. That shivering, curling, blanket-enshrouded lump on the living room sofa was Tyler alright.

He must have heard us walking in, if not the slam-shut echo of the front door would have done it. But no, hIs sullen heavy gaze out onto empty space continued to speak of a horror ill-befitting of mankind to ever truly comprehend.

And sitting just right beside him was the quiet beloved docile sister of the aforementioned horror staring her distant faraway stare with her head tilted at a curious angle.

Thought I'd be gentle, and signaled Ash to approach ourselves at a slow, welcoming pace.

"Tyler?" I called out to him. "You'll be okay?"

Hard to tell if his frantic nod was genuine or just another symptom of the shivers and shakes… I think it might have been the latter. 

"He… asked if I've… been scared before…" muttered Adalia, lifting her misty eyes up at me. "I told him… I haven't… before..."

Put yourself in the mind of the foolish, and you'll never find yourself lost for a cause.

"Scare challenge? Tag challenge? Scaring a stranger's girlfriend hardcore edition?" 

I could have gone on for ages, really.

"Hide... and seek… in the… dark..." 

"Ahh, a classic." 

"It was for… a video… he explained…" Adalia said, hanging her head, like a timid puppy who has done a baddie. "I wanted to… play nice… like you said to… do…"

She needn't really say anymore. The results speak for themselves right here. Think I might have officially broken him this time. 

"Twin sister, scary sister, smoking hot sister, I didn't know, I didn't know..." Maddened rambles from an even madder individual, Tyler spun his maddened eyes my way, nodding his head at me like he was trying to get me to understand. "I didn't know, I really didn't!"

"Yeah, my fault, the blame's all mine," I told him. "Didn't think she'd come… I really should have told you."

"Told me?" A pause, then like a flick of a switch, he nodded even more vigorously. "Yes, told me. Right, I didn't know. You didn't tell me. You should have told me. You should have. Your fault. Not mine. Your fault."

"Yes, I - "

"Another girl, another bombshell… a twin, too. You hid from me, you didn't tell me. You're terrible. You're freakin' terrible! I lost my chance, she hates me now… I won't see her again… she was so cute..." 

"I… what?" 

"Don't you understand?!" He looked at me like I was the mad one. "Girls like those?! Scary girls, man! They're something else, man! She growls, dude! I never had a girl snarl at me like that before! It's like… it's like…" 

Maybe Adalia can help me, maybe she understood better than I did. Oh nope, she was just as clueless as I. Maybe Ash? Nah, she seems preoccupied with looking utterly taken aback. 

Looks like I'm on my own here.

"Tyler, are you okay?" I asked, genuinely, earnestly, sincerely concerned this time.

"Are you kidding?!" He sprung up from the couch, the blanket of safety and comfort falling to his feet. "You're kidding, right? I ain't never felt better! In fact, I feel like going to Church cause now I know God exists and I've been blessed by his grace." 

"Uhh…"

"This house, man, this house! Your house! Playboy's bungalow is right! I stay here and it's girls all day all night long, you know?!" 

I tried to find some rationality, should have known better but to try. "You called the police then, why?"

"Cause I'm a dumbass! A fucking idiot!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, loud and proud his echo resounded. "She scared the shit out of me so much, I just called on instinct. I must have been out of mind, back then!"

Had enough. Couldn't take anymore after that. He was traumatized, alright. But all for the wrong reasons. He called the cops on a smoking hot babe and he just broke inside because of it… not cause, y'know he feared for his life or anything like that, 'cause that's not at all how a regular person would react.

Self-preservation, pssh… more like self-deprivation-from-those-thick-legs-vation… amirite?

I left Tyler to his madness downstairs, while I sought myself some refuge upstairs, with a little help from an equally befuddled Ash… I made it to the comfort of my bedroom at record pace.

"Your… friend is unlike most people I've come across in my travels," Ash remarked, still hearkening his deranged spiels all the way from the living room. "Perchance, could he possibly be bewitched by some sort of spell?"

I could still hear him too.

"Oh, yeah that cop! Dude, did you have a good look at her?! Like damn, I'm seriously considering like calling back or something just to see her again. You think she's single?!"

"No, Ash, I'd say he's feeling just fine," I replied, collapsing my aching self onto the bed. "That's no spell… just hormones."

"I've noticed he finds delight in the company of young fair maidens." 

"I suppose every man does, really…" I said, staring straight up onto the ceiling. "The straight ones, at least… maybe some girls too."

"I… wonder, Master…" Ash spoke, a little apprehension in her inflection. "Are you perhaps of the same… uhh, temperament as well, as one would put it?"

Think some blood rushed up to my ears cause I think I might have heard the question wrong. I sat back up, amending my hearing, and asked, "Temper - what?"

"No, I… it's… it's merely a wandering thought, Master, " Ash's pale face started to flush with color, the bright kind too, "It's hard to overlook the fact that the company you keep has been rather… womanly, as of late."

'Kay, guess I didn't hear wrong after all. "So you're asking whether or not I like the fact I'm surrounded by beautiful women everywhere?"

"Simply a passing thought is all," She hastily reaffirmed again. "I only wondered - you don't seem faze, rather you seem to take it all in stride, do you… are you too aroused by…?"

I raised a brow, "By?"

Her mouth broke open once, but nothing came out then, she tried again, but this time her lips shaped different. "Women."

This entire conversation was just as bizarre as the one I just had with Tyler… and that was already hard to top. How did we even get here? Anybody else, and this question wouldn't seem so outlandish to me. 

Amanda would joke about it. Irene would somehow manage to turn it into an insult. Adalia wouldn't care. Ria would make fun of me for it. Amelia… would be in agreement with whatever Irene had to say about it.

And Ash would have… would have what? I don't know, cause I really can't envision her asking this at all. Regardless, here she was anyway, asking sincerely…

Guess I gotta answer sincerely too.

"Well, I might just be your Master to you, but all things considered I'm a human too. A male human guy, yes. So I got my wants, got my needs… got my likes…" 

Seriously, what are these words coming out of my mouth even?

"Yeah, girls are nice. I like to look at them, especially the pretty ones…" I faked a cough, not even sure why I was faking one. "So as it stands to reason, yeah, I guess so. The company I keep are an attractive bunch, I'd be lying if I deny finding myself being aroused by them."

Am I really saying these words? Are we sure this is really me saying them? It felt like someone else was saying 'em.

"I… I see," Ash said, nodding her head by the doorway. "Understood…"

Thought that would have been the end of it, and I was about to sigh in relief thinking that it was.

It wasn't.

Ash decided to hit me with the one-two punch.

"Am I perchance… one of them, as well?"

Again, it was like it was a different person speaking through me.

"Yes," Not-me but still me told her. "Yes, you are."

A nod. Then she stepped away, closing the door shut, vanishing with her face blazing with even more color than before.

"Understood."

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