I was meowed at to follow.
So I followed.
Mr. Black leaped off my lap the moment I stood back up on my feet. A newly ingrained habit kept the tennis ball held firmly in my grasp even as I sprinted after the pitter-patter of paws streaking deep into the darkness ahead.
From behind, tuned to the melody of surprise, a voice sounded aloud. "Where do you think you're going?!"
Ash was just as loud. "Master, wait!"
I did wait, momentarily, before I picked up the pace again, just brief enough to glance back at Ash and look into her glowing green eyes, and reflect back to her the worry in my own.
"The other's one missing."
After that, she didn't press on any further, just followed - Irene along with her, though less sympathetic going by the groan she expressed under her breath. Together the three of us scurried across the cobble-paved pathway originally meant for a leisurely stroll.
Let me tell you, there was nothing leisurely about nearly stumbling on your own two feet, chasing after distant meows in the pale moonlight as a sinking feeling in your chest gradually rose to an unbearable prominence.
Ironically enough, my place of peace was giving me the worst of worries. Here's hoping those worries eventually end up being for nothing. But as we got closer and closer to the end of the route, the prospect of nothing grew further and further from my mind.
I started to feel it once again, like a burning blade plunging through my still pulsating heart, sending agony throbbing throughout all my senses, every joint, every muscle within, rigid and tense, turning my breathing into discomforting heaves.
No one else could sense it… no one else even felt it, only me, and that only meant one thing.
We were nearing the vicinity of Blight.
My voice was still my own, though. Nothing tried to pry my lips open, nothing formed tears in my eyes to cloud my sights. Irene was like my lucky charm in a world brimming with misfortune.
But the thing about luck is… it can only get you so far in the long run. I couldn't run anymore, my body was pleading for me to slow… so I slowed, walking the rest of the way.
Irene was the first to draw up beside me, exhaling heavily a weary breath, a disapproving one too.
"Twenty minutes break," She scoffed, shaking her head. "So much for bare minimum."
"Lady Irene," Ash appeared walking to my right, not even worse for wear. "With great respect, refrain from speaking… I beseech you."
If Irene responded back to Ash's request, I didn't get to hear it. Another meow in the inky black strained my ears to nowhere else but forward. I never walked the entire length of the park before, I always stopped midway at my bench and turned tail once I was done… I didn't know where the end was or when we'll ever reach it.
Some part of me didn't want to reach it, but I know I'll know no peace until I find what was waiting for me on the other end of the pitch darkness.
Then eventually the pathway opened up. No fields of grass, just sidewalks. No more trees rustling from up high, now there was just the dim shimmer of yellow streetlights.
Mr. Black sat waiting for us at the tail end of the trail. He was facing away from us, his perked ears fronting the streets.
An entire city block coated in black… draping over lamplight, stop signs, awnings, and rooftops. There wasn't a single space free of the blackened muck.
This moment was the closest I've ever been to the Blight ever since it had first rained down upon us… every step was like burrowing that knife deeper into myself, but I just had to keep going, I had to know.
I clicked my tongue again.
Mr. Black whirled around towards me… I waited for a bit longer, and then a bit more, but it was only him that answered to my calls.
I already knew it was only him. I don't even know why I even bothered. Mr. Black had been pointing me in the right direction all this time.
I just didn't want to follow it.
In the darkness of the streets, in the blackness that coated over it, somewhere far in a secluded corner… a spot of white… pure snowy white, like a little smear on a painting.
A single flickering streetlight illuminated it - illuminated the dark red staining the strands of white. I tried again, I clicked my tongue, just like I've always done before… but the patch of white did not stir, it didn't even move in the slightest.
It just laid there, sprawled out in the streets, like… how long was she out there for? How long until we came?
She didn't deserve to be lying there in the streets.
I tried to take another step, I couldn't. Tried again, but I didn't move an inch. Both times I was stopped, both times Irene seized my arm back.
"There's too much," She said, her voice softer than a whisper. "I can't protect you if you walk one step further."
She could have said anything, and my response would have been the same. "I gotta get her out there."
But I wasn't an idiot, I wasn't blind to reason. I stopped resisting and just stood there even as Mr. Black turned again to face me, his eyes wide, squeaking out incessant meows pleading for me to do something about it.
I didn't… because I couldn't.
His cries hurt, I was sure my fingernails would have dug into my palm hadn't the tennis ball been there to prevent that.
Suddenly there was a flutter of white, another white, shimmering silvery locks of hair skirting into view. Ash continued to walk forward and never stopped, past the exit, across the sidewalk… into the Blight.
If Irene wasn't still holding tight onto me… I dread to think about what would have happened.
"It's okay," She assured the frantic worry in my eyes. "The Blight's dried up already. She won't get any on her."
Hard to quell a panic with just words. That's something I gotta see to believe.
I whirled my gaze back to the front and to my shock, Ash was already reaching the other end of the street, not a single speck of inky black staining the soles of her shoes.
Mr. Black stood on all fours, his tail a constant sway from to and fro… together, the three of us watched as Ash entered the little ring of dim yellow from the streetlight above, watch her gently scoop the patch of white, cradling it in her arms.
Black meowed again, frenetically pacing left and right in anticipation, his bushy tail just as spastic.
How long already were they departed? How long did he sit here watching over her day and night hoping for someone to come to the rescue?
His meow, louder than ever, told me all I needed to know.
Too long.
Could have been anything. A frantic driver in the midst of the panic, a stampede of feet attempting to flee from the pouring red… either way, her death was completely blameless. Just an unfortunate victim of circumstance.
Mrs. White died for absolutely nothing.
Ash came back just as fast as she left. Her eyes never looked up, it stayed clung to the little patch of fur laying ever so still in her arms, the moonlight darkening her already somber expression.
"Master," She muttered. "Where would you like me to place her?"
A flowerbed laid nearby, swaying colors of every kind. It'll have to do, I suppose.
"Put her there," I said, surprised to hear my voice sound so calm.
Ash nodded, and I followed along after her, all the while Mr. Black running circles around Ash's legs… even standing on his hind feet, even leaping - wanting, meowing for her.
Irene stayed, calling it out just once. "Let me know when you're finished."
The way she said it didn't feel like a demand, more of a 'take your time' sort of inflection. Guess there wasn't any rush anymore.
I grunted in response.
When Ash laid her knees onto the soft grass, Black still didn't shrink away. Not in fear, nor in disgust, not even in hate. He laid his paws on her arms like he would anybody else.
If there ever was a silver lining to this, then… what am I saying… there isn't any.
Mr. Black clung to her arms as she gently lowered White among the flower stems.
"Here you go," Ash gently muttered, trying to form a smile. "She's home again."
I thought it impossible before, a chance possibility shot down at first encounter, but it finally happened. I got close enough to see Black stroke the side of his face against her legs, purring tenderly, and meowing softly, looking straight into her eyes.
Didn't need to be a cat whisperer to know what that meant.
Ash stood up and lowered her head. "You're welcome."
She didn't stay for long, just like Irene, she fell back at a distance, glancing only once at me briefly as we passed each other, and it was knowing sort of glance.
This was your time for peace.
Find peace.
Meow.
Two meows.
Three…
A small black paw nudging the white…
It must be really confusing for him, she wasn't moving even when he called for her. Usually she meowed back, touched back…
She wasn't anymore.
The sight of the flowerbed really was a peaceful one. The way Ash had her place, how she laid curled into herself… it looked like she was just merely sleeping blissfully.
Mr. Black must have thought so too. He curled up right next to her, nose-to-nose, brushing his head against hers.
He closed his eyes… and went to sleep too.
Yet only one will ever wake up again.
Could cry. I wanted to cry, I really should. But the tears won't fall. I felt the ache, felt the tremble in fingers, the quiver in my lips… yet the tears still won't fall.
Because sadness wasn't the reason for any of those.
Why I was trembling, why I was aching… it was a feeling that reached far beyond just grief.
I hated.
Hated so, so much. Hated this situation, hated the Blight…
And I hated Jay for it.
That's why I was trembling, that's why I was aching. This hatred was overwhelming, it was coursing all around me. I felt the anger lash, and in return, I lashed back.
My arm plunged… and the ball I held within my clutch plummeted.
It fell from my hand, but I didn't hear it bounce, I didn't even see it roll away in the grass.
Gone.
Like it was never even there.
Guess Mom was right, emotion really was powerful. More so than I ever thought it'd be.
I should start listening to her more often.
Starting now.
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