My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

The barren, quiet road to home was a long and arduous one, wrought terribly with many trials and tribulations that a man, in his illest of fortune, deserved not to have been an unwilful participant of, for even the deepest depths of hell hath no fury so righteous and fervent as a woman's lust.

Irene's lust.

Last time I was in a car with the no-nonsense detective, I was practically blown asunder from within from merely a whiff of her, had I not rolled down a window in the nick of time, I am absolutely certain I would have choked to death in a sea of raging hormones.

This time, I was taking no chances. Every window front and back was rolled wide open, playing host to the strong gusts of wind filtering in, smacking and bashing, unrelentingly blasting my face with the force of a thousand whirlwinds. 

And I was ever so grateful for it.

Cause I needed air. Lots and lots of air. It was the only thing standing in the defiance of Irene's pheromones. With good ol' oxygen as my ally, the invisible war of attrition rages on in the scorched battlefield that was the backseat of Amanda's car.

So anyway, lap pillows, right? What's the deal? They're just laps that you use as pillows, what's the whole hoo-ha about 'em? In a way, they're just meaty, fleshy pillows that you rest your head on cause fuckin' I dunno… it's cute or something.

Had no qualms when Ash did it. In fact, I wouldn't mind if she used me as a meat-pillow again… least she has some restraint about it.

Irene, though… Irene. Why does it feel as if there's some double standard going on around here? Seriously, if I tried to rest my head on the thighs of every girl I meet… I'd be damn lucky if I walked away with my balls intact. 

So why does Irene get a free pass at it? Why does she deserve to be in seventh heaven right now snuggling so contentedly on my lap while I run the risk of getting castrated on the spot? Why? Cause she's cute?

Okay, she is kinda cute…

I think I'm losing this war.

"Not bothering you, am I?" Irene's got her suggestive come-hither eyes constantly beset on my own. Every time I looked down, she was all I could see, and she knew exactly what it was doing to me. "Enjoying the view?"

There was a double meaning to that, cause I damn well was trying to - decided that the landscape of city blocks whizzing past us was a much less stimulating sight for the senses, so I had my head mostly staring out the window.

But this was a detective I had lying on my lap, contingencies and plans were her blood and soul - if I ever needed to explain something to her, she outright refuses to acknowledge me unless I look directly back at her. 

Needed to ask a question? Stare. 

Want to clarify the current state of events so far? Look.

Neck getting tired from looking left all the time and ached for a break? Hello again, Irene.

"Hi, darling ~ " She greeted me back softly. "Didn't think I'd see you again so soon."

Soreness should be fading away soon, then I can get back to being the watcher of the streets, but in the meantime…

"You understood all that right? What I said? What we're dealing with here?"

After we've departed in a haste from the no good, very bad place, Adalia and I took turns relaying everything we know so far to the uninformed Succubus. Irene was apparently unaware of any recent happenings being cooped up in that place for days and all, but it seemed as if she was taking it all in stride.

Not a bat of an eye, not even the tilt of the head. She was acting like Blightfall was just a mild inconvenience, a red light on the road when you're in a hurry. Guess you can't really expect much concern to show when her full undivided was concentrated solely on you.

Would say I'm flattered, but right more I'm more than content with just hearing her say she understood. It'd set me more at ease than whatever the hell she was doing to me right now.

Irene… cooing my cheek with your fingers is not a 'Yes, I understand'. Stop it.

"Why would I ignore anything you've ever have to say?" She said. "Your voice is like music to my ears… I'll listen to it all day if I could. Especially when a romantic melody starts to play, you know? Do you think it'll ever be up next?"

I shook my head. Amanda at the wheel gave a groan. Meanwhile, Adalia poked her eye through the front seat headrest.

Think Irene felt all eyes on her now, for suddenly she groaned just as begrudgingly as Amanda.

"Blightfall, also known as Sanignavia from where I'm from, is the rain of the dead. Somehow a semi-centennial phenomenon that occurs very rarely in Kronocia is now happening on Earth. Don't know how, don't know why, but it's black and it's bad. Darling here's a Speaker! You need a Listener. Ria and the Elf are void-ridden, beguiled by the Enstar, and the only way to break the trance is with an even better trance… which is where I come in. Is that everything, or need I elaborate further?" 

Oh… she was paying attention after all. Guess even while drowning in a euphoric love stupor, the detective within her was still standing at attention. Good to know. Now there's something else I want to know. 

"Why 'Darling?'" 

Irene gave an impish chortle, her hand now tugging at my fringes. "Why not 'Darling', Darling?"

"It's weird."

"Pet names aren't weird. They're cute."

"I have a name."

"Isn't as cute."

Rolled my eyes so hard at that that they went swerving all the way back to the open window, where landscapes and landmarks aplenty grew ever more familiar. Won't be long now till we're back home, won't be long until this one issue out of a dozen would be finally resolved… then after that, it was off to the next issue at hand.

Just can't catch a break, can we?

We decided already beforehand what the plan was, wasn't much room for a disagreement, really. The first to wake from their slumber would be Ash and Ria back home while Amelia would have to hold on just a little later. 

The road back home was a much, much longer drive than it was leaving it. More roadblocks had been assembled, more police stops on popular lanes. It was quite remarkable how cool of a head Amanda had on her shoulders, the sight of those flashing red and blues annoyed her more than it did frighten her, as she spun us right around to the nearest detour in the vicinity.

Quite a stark change from how she was in the beginning.

Noting all that, you can see how getting into the heart of the city where Amelia was would be a bitch and a half to do. So for now, baby steps it was, home was faster and easier.

Adalia still refused to feast though, despite having the solution to the void-sleep or whatever literally drawing circles on my chest with a finger.

Her reason for it, staring at me with veiny eyes, was, "It… might not… work…"

"Hold on a minute," proclaimed I, more surprised than confused. "This whole operation was your idea. What do you mean it might not work?"

Apparently, Adalia was also raising a brow or two to the snuggling succubus humming a dainty tune.

"I didn't… account for this…" she simply said.

'This' formed a frown, looking up at Adalia from my lap. "Meaning what, Matriarch? Suspect I won't be up to the task?"

"Yes…" Adalia was as blunt as the nod of her head. "I wondered why before… I can sense you… so strongly… from afar. Now… I know why..." 

"And why's why?"

"You're… intoxicated..."

"Nope, don't think so. I feel rain as right," A little snigger. "Joking…"

"You need days… to settle… back… to yourself from... intoxication."

"I had my days already," Irene said, waving it off. "I've settled."

Adalia remained a dubious vampire, rightfully so too. "You need… full concentration… the void… "

"Enstar's beckoning, I know," Irene interjected, looking a little perturbed. "Hard to break, easy to mess up. I am taking this as seriously as you are. I wouldn't half-heart something as dangerous as this, I assure you. If I said I can do it, then you better believe I will."

She finished with an expression that bore a striking uncanniness to the detective-lady that first walked the floorboards of my ruined apartment, that piercing gaze, that solidifying silence that finished her sentences… it was all there and more.

Perhaps that more than anything was what finally convinced Adalia to rein herself back a little here, turning back to the front, uttering only a single word to end it all.

"Okay…"

"Besides," Irene said, that deviant smile of hers returning again, gazing at me so tenderly. "Promised my darling here already, didn't I? So long as you hold up your end of the bargain, you can expect only perfection from me."

It wasn't long until the shimmering rims of headlights painted a familiar driveway of old, the rumbling of the engine stopping dead, and the pattering of feet scrambled out to the trail leading towards the front steps of the porch.

Once we opened that door there… we'll find our answer.

Let's just hope it wasn't just the pheromones talking back there...

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