Chapter 203: Sexuality
“So, what will you do now”? Ariel asked Sebastian who was the only one left.
“I have a lot of things to do,” Sebastian assured. Ariel maintained her blank stare at him before narrowing her gaze at him. “What?” Sebastian asked, noticing her suspicious glance.
“What’s wrong with you?” Ariel asked Sebastian, slightly narrowing her gaze at him.
“Nothing”!
“You sure?”
“Of course” Christian rolled his eyes.
“I’ll leave you to it then” Ariel shrugged and was about to leave when Sebastian shouted, “Wait”!
.....
“What?” Ariel raised her eyebrows after she turned back to look at him.
“You mentioned earlier you have never been in a relationship”. Sebastian mumbled.
“Yeah... What about it”? Ariel frowned.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking this, but... Did anyone ever propose to you?” Sebastian asked, trying his best to ignore the awkwardness. He wasn’t exactly close with her. They just happened to get acquainted through Wrisberg brothers.
“Of course” She smiled smugly. “But why are you asking”?
“I just wanted to know... how did you reject them?” Sebastian shrugged. “Like, how did you know for sure you didn’t wanna be with them”? He asked.
Ariel tilted her head before she mumbled, “I just...knew.” after taking a pause, she mumbled, “Shouldn’t you be familiar with situations like this? I mean, you are kind of popular. You look good, I can’t believe you haven’t been in a situation like this before”. She frowned.
“Actually, most of the time it was just fans. I know most of them were trying to flatter me, and frankly speaking I couldn’t be less interested in them” Sebastian shrugged.
“So this time you are interested, but you want to reject this one... for some reason” she furrowed her eyebrows as she struggled to figure out the missing link in his statements.
“More like, the person is close to me...so I.. I guess I feel bad about hurting.. them” Sebastian admitted.
“Ahh....” A bright smile appeared on Ariel’s face. “So he confessed”
“What?” Sebastian paled.
“You said them” Ariel.
“So? It could have been anybody, why would you assume-”
“Give it a rest” Ariel interrupted, shutting him up. “Your fans might be crazy for you, but here... there aren’t many people who have a crush on you.”
“...” Sebastian opened his mouth several times but nothing came out of his mouth. Seeing him struggle like that made Ariel chuckle. “You don’t know what you are talking about”
“You wanna bet?”Ariel scoffed. “I convinced Christian to not go through with this engagement ceremony. Trust me, I have good deduction skills” She winked “You can tell me. I am an excellent secret keeper.” she smiled.
“Fine. Yeah... Christian confessed.” Sebastian pursed his lips, “Twice actually”. Ariel’s eyes widened at this piece of information. “He didn’t mean to. He was drunk the first time” Sebastian clarified before Ariel got any wrong idea.
“I see, so are having a hard time rejecting him” Ariel nodded. Her teasing smile was replaced with a concerned expression. “You are afraid to ruin your friendship?”
“Maybe?” Sebastian mumbled, unsure of himself. Ariel tilted her head in confusion so he spoke further, “He isn’t exactly waiting for my answer. He knows I am straight. And he is ready to move on”.
“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Ariel let out a tiny smile. “That’s what you want right?” She asked to which she received no response so she tried again, “Right?”
“I don’t know,” Sebastian sighed. “Everything laid out so perfectly and yet I can’t believe I am this conflicted” He sighed. “I am straight, okay. I have always identified as straight, but... I dunno. I feel as if... I wanna... try” Sebastian mumbled. “Won’t that be wrong?”
“If you are experimenting, then... probably not the best for him.” Ariel sighed. “But again... who can say. You might end up falling for him after all. You already have all these confusing feelings for him. Maybe it’s worth it?”
“What if it’s not? I mean, I am over thirty year old, I shouldn’t be questioning myself like this. I am so confused” Sebastian sighed.
“Okay.. first of all, age is just a number. It’s okay to question whenever you feel like it. Seconfly...” Ariel took a deep breath before saying, “I think, it’s okay to change your labels. Or not, if you don’t want to. You said that you always identified as straight, right?” He nodded at her
“Well, just because you did doesn’t mean you can’t change it. You might be a wolf, but you have spent a majority of your growing years in a society which believes in heteronormativity. You are straight until you decide otherwise. Trust me, I have seen a lot of crap like this in my uni” She grunted before taking a deep breath. “My point is, it’s okay to change labels if you want. At the end of the day it’s your life, do whatever the f**k you want” She smiled.
“Wow, this frustrates you a lot, doesn’t it” Sebastian chuckled. “But I guess, I see your point.”
“Uh-huh?” Ariel asked.
“Hmm... I still have to figure out my exact feelings, but I guess I should keep my mind open.” Ariel nodded at him with a smile. “Wow, you are good at this, You should definitely be a therapist”. Ariel ended up laughing at that.
“I do want to be one once I graduate. Living here I noticed the wolves don’t have access to mental health services at all. When I was struggling with my own sexuality, it was hard. In fact, not just that, being a bit awkward at social interactions, I had a hard time fitting in. One of my friends recommended me to a therapist who happened to be his cousin. It helped. So yeah, I guess... I wanna be helpful too, like that” Ariel let out a smile.
“That’s so beautiful.” Sebastian mumbled. “Wait, you mentioned sexuality. Are you gay”? He asked. “You don’t have to answer that” He added quickly before she could say something.
“You don’t have to walk around the eggshells around me” She chuckled. “No, I am not gay. I am asexual.” She declared. “Wolves are usually sexual beings. I guess I am an exception”.
“Hence no relationships” Sebastian added.
“Not exactly... I mean yeah for me. But it’s not the same for everyone else.” Ariel explained. Sebastian furrowed his eyebrows, so she continued. “It’s a big spectrum. It’ll take a long time for me to explain. I’ll tell you what? You figure out this thing with Christian and then... maybe I will explain it to you some other day.
“Okay” Sebastian nodded. “Thanks, for giving me another perspective”
“Anytime” Ariel smiled before she headed off to her room.
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