Maybe a Fake Gintama

"Go drink the bathwater in the bathhouse, you stinky brat," Kawaki replied without even turning his head.

"Hmph," Kagura pouted her lips with a sullen expression.

...

After closing the sliding door and arriving at the men's bath changing room, the first thing Kawaki saw was Shinpachi, who was taking off his underwear.

"Hey? Kawaki, what are you doing here?" Shinpachi, seeing Kawaki arrive, stopped his movements and looked at Kawaki with confusion.

"Don't let readers imagine these dirty things so early in the morning," Kawaki reminded helplessly. "You know, most of our readers are teenagers, and they usually [censored] when they wake up. If they develop psychological shadows and can't [censored] anymore because of you, the number of readers might decrease. But anyway, how come you're here?"

"After watching the hot spring special on TV, my sister said she wanted to go to a big bathhouse," Shinpachi explained.

"You should just throw her into a puddle. I thought I could enjoy having the bathhouse all to myself, but I can't stand you guys."

"I can't stand you guys either. You were probably thinking about peeping on girls bathing, right?" Shinpachi retorted.

(Note: Agnes Chan, originally from Hong Kong, later went to Japan for entertainment development and then served as an ambassador for UNICEF, fully promoting the spirit of hard work aimed at opposing child pornography culture products and dissemination. In the eyes of Japanese otaku, she is the enemy of the people.)

After putting their clothes in separate lockers, Kawaki, wrapped in a towel, accompanied Shinpachi with a wooden basin. They walked towards the bathing area, separated by a misted glass door.

As soon as Shinpachi opened the sliding door, he saw Kondo squatting down, wearing a safety helmet, and holding a drill as he worked to drill through the wall separating the men's and women's baths.

"Ah, sorry about this," Kondo said upon hearing the sliding door, without turning his head, "We're currently conducting emergency construction here. Can you go to another bathhouse?"

A minute later, watching Shinpachi, who was continuously screaming in pain as he was drilled in the groin by the emotionless Kondo, Kawaki expressionlessly said, "Hey, where are you drilling, you gorilla?"

Little did Kawaki know in the women's bath, Kagura and Otae were staring expressionlessly at the Hyakka members vigorously digging a tunnel towards the men's bath, wearing helmets and only wrapping towels around their bodies.

"Ah, what a surprise," Otae said in amazement, covering her mouth, "Miss Tsukuyo is also here..."

"Oh! Tsukky!" Kagura exclaimed in surprise.

"Tonight, there's no water in Yoshiwara," Tsukuyo explained.

...

On the other side, in the men's bath.

"I don't want to bathe with this guy. I feel like I'll catch some disease."

As soon as Kawaki spoke, Shogun was sitting in the adult hot spring pool, towel on his head, and said, "You're the one who's sick, aren't you?"

Immediately after, Shogun pointed to the warm water pool next to him. "You go bathe in the children's warm water pool; it's more suitable for you."

At this moment, Soyo, sitting in the warm water pool, said, "Indeed, Hijikata-san is like an Edoite, loving to bathe in hot water."

"Oh! More! Add more hot water for me!"

"Here you go!" Holding a box of instant noodles, Soyo naturally poured the broth into the adult hot spring pool.

"Hey! Where do you think you're pouring the broth of instant noodles?!" Hijikata shouted angrily with bulging veins.

"It's rare to come here. Wash your underwear while at it, and save on laundry costs." Kawaki naturally washed his strawberry-printed pink shorts in the adult hot spring pool.

"You guys! This isn't the Ganges!" Hijikata had another vein popping on his face.

"In the end, if Hijikata-san likes to bathe in hot water," Sougo pointed to the steamy hot spring pool that was originally a cold water pool for some reason, "why not go over there? The boss of Yoshiwara seems to be comfortable there."

Looking at the steaming hot spring pool, Hijikata retorted, "Only he likes it that hot! Ordinary people would be cooked if they went in! Wasn't that originally a cold water pool?! Why did it become like this?! Did that bastard do it?! Did that bastard drain all the cold water?!"

"Really, what's going on today? Why did all the idiots from Edo come to the bathhouse?" Kawaki complained while picking up a cola placed next to Okita's head. "Another cola? How much do you love cola? It should be strawberry milk when you're bathing, strawberry milk!"

"Who's the idiot here? You bastard!" Hijikata retorted with bulging veins.

"Kawaki, you're saying that, but you still picked it up and drank it, didn't you?" Shinpachi deadpanned.

"You should stop!" Kondo, who was in the adult hot spring pool, stood up with crossed arms and closed eyes, looking serious, "We're here to bathe. If you cause trouble, all of you get out! Just leave Miss Otae behind!"

After finishing the cola and casually throwing the can into the nearby trash can, Kawaki belched and said, "You're not here to bathe at all, are you? If you want to bathe, just jump into the washing machine. You won't wash away the stubborn stains on you here."

"What did you say!" Kondo instantly became displeased, "I'll wash your hair clean with Sassoon!"

"Huh?!" Kawaki retorted without hesitation, "Should I use Silky Veil to take care of your butt hair?!"

"Get out! We've occupied this place on behalf of the Sassoon faction!"

"Perfect! Just go ahead! Let me show you the power of Silky Veil!"

As soon as Kawaki finished speaking, the sliding door behind him was pushed open, and at the same time, a child's voice was heard.

"Oh! Is this the bathhouse? It's so spacious, I want to swim!"

Kawaki, who was irritated, turned around and immediately, without hesitation, said, "Huh?! Swim?! This isn't a swimming pool!"

At the same time, Kondo stood up and pointed at the little boy who had just entered, "Those who aren't from the Sassoon faction, get out! You little brat! We've already booked this place!"

"Huh? Booked?" The little boy, with green skin, thick black hair on his legs, two small horns on his head, and eyes shining red, asked in confusion, "Isn't the bathhouse for everyone to use?"

At this moment, Shinpachi, noticing the newcomer's appearance, couldn't help but sweat coldly on his face. "Gin... Kawaki, th... that's..."

"Dad, those people said the bathhouse is booked." The little boy turned to look towards the door, pointing at Kawaki and the others.

"What did you say? It's strange; I heard the bathhouse is a public bath, right, big brother? Can't anyone come in?" Shinpachi-kun?"

"No, don't ask me, right? Second brother?"

"No, no, don't ask me, okay? Third brother?"

"Dad, where's big brother?"

"How would I know?"

"Hey, what are you guys doing?"

"Oh, it's big brother!"

At this moment, Kawaki and the others, looking at the Ango family appearing at the door, were all sweating profusely, and their pupils began to tremble involuntarily.

"Ah, isn't this Yorozuya-san?" Ango, holding a wooden basin, looked at Kawaki and said, then pointed at himself, "Long time no see, it's me, the next-door neighbor, Ango."

Looking at the Ango family standing at the door, Kawaki twitched the corners of his eyes and collapsed in his heart: [Ango... Ango increased--!!]

"Um, sorry we've caused you trouble," Ango said somewhat apologetically.

"Hey! What's the deal with the Adams family?" Kondo, with black lines at the corners of his eyes, sweating profusely, asked Kawaki and Shinpachi beside him in a low voice, "Are they acquaintances of yours?"

Clutching their shoulders, with black lines at the corners of their eyes and sweating profusely, Kawaki and Shinpachi simultaneously explained, "We... we don't know them! We completely don't know that bunch!"

At this time, Ango, who was turning on the faucet to fetch water at the back-scrubbing area, explained himself, "Really, a family came from the countryside to the city for a visit, saying they wanted to see places with Edo's characteristics, so I brought them to a bathhouse."

[Bringing... bringing them to battle?!] Kawaki and the others thought at the same time.

(Battle and Bathhouse are homophones.)

"Because on our planet, there's no custom of bathing together. Everyone gets naked and honest with each other; it's great."

[Getting naked and honest with each other is invincible?!] Kawaki and the others were even worse off.

"How... how could this be!" Kawaki said quietly, "Are these guys finally seriously planning to invade Earth?!"

"You... you said invade Earth? How is that possible!" Shinpachi replied quietly with a face full of sweat.

"The first step is to conquer this bathhouse, those monsters." Okita analyzed.

"Now is not the time to argue about the Sassoon or the Silky Veil faction. We have to inform others quickly!" Kondo's expression gradually became severe, "While they're entering the adult pool, let's escape from here!"

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