Maybe a Fake Gintama

"What are you doing?" Kawaki wiped the blood from his nose and got up from the ground. He then complained angrily, "What are you doing to the host? Do you want to be disqualified? Bastard!"

"A fake and inferior host like you is not qualified to say this!" Gintoki shouted, "Speaking of which, why are you dressed like that? What is going on? Where is the original host? Why are you here? What did you do to the original host?!"

"Hmph." Kawaki crossed his arms and snorted disdainfully, "That kind of thing has never existed since the beginning. Who do you think the sponsor of this competition is? Who do you think is the person who is in charge of broadcasting in the background?"

"Could it be... Could it be..." Only then did Gintoki react. He narrowed his eyes and twitched half of his face. He turned to look at the helicopter hovering in the air and saw Hyakka's members in the helicopter!

Gintoki lowered his head and glanced at the staff members who were like security guards in the venue. They were actually all Hyakka's members!

"What the hell are you doing?!" Gintoki was in a bad mood. He grabbed Kawaki by the collar and said angrily, "Why did you become the host for no reason? Why did Yoshiwara become the sponsor of this competition for no reason? Why did you let that group of women take over the competition? What are you thinking in your head?"

"Why?" Kawaki was a little confused, "Of course, it's to advertise Yoshiwara. There is such a good opportunity."

"Shut up!"

Just as Gintoki finished speaking, Shinpachi, who was at the side, quickly pulled Gintoki and whispered into Gintoki's ear, "Calm down, Gin-san. Since the host is really Kawaki-san, it is more advantageous for our side."

"Because of all kinds of reasons, let's cut the crap!" Kawaki raised the microphone and shouted to the audience again, "Let's go straight to the playoffs! (Are you ready?!)"

"Yes!" x5,000+

"I know that every contestant who comes here is feeling nervous right now. They are worried that they can't compare to other teams." Kawaki showed a trace of reluctance, "But! Don't worry! I have made a very fair competition rule! I will never favor any team! Love? That kind of thing that can't be seen can't be measured at all! Do you think your love for this flat-chested woman is not as good as others?!"

Give me a moment,

"Wait a minute," Shinpachi said with a cold face, "What do you mean by a flat-chested woman? Change it to the cutest idol in the world, Otsuu-chan! You bastard!"

"Oh, insulting the host. Terakado Tsuu's Imperial Guards will record a punishment." Kawaki took out a small notebook, flipped it open, took out a ballpoint pen and drew a line on it, then closed it. He smiled at the audience and explained, "By the way, as long as you insult the host three times, you will be disqualified directly!"

"Gin-san, this person has no intention of favoring us at all." Shinpachi complained with a black face, "He just thinks it's fun, right?"

"I haven't read the rules of the previous competition... No, it's not suitable for you at all!" Kawaki once again faced the contestants. "Physical strength? economical strength? What are those? Using that kind of thing to judge your love for this flat... no, Otsuu-chan, do you think it's fair?! Answer me loudly! Is it fair?!"

"That's right. It's not fair to judge our love with that kind of thing!"

"That's right! It's not fair at all! I'm just poor, but my love for Otsuu-chan is the same!"

"It's just that I have poor physical strength, but my love for Otsuu-chan is not inferior to anyone!"

More and more contestants echoed, and the sound of [Unfair] became louder and louder.

"Gin-san, it seems that even someone like Kawaki-san is very serious on this formal occasion." Shinpachi praised in a low voice.

"Tsk!" Gintoki turned his face and spat in a low voice then said disdainfully, "Don't be blinded by his appearance, Shinpachi."

"Alright, the staff over there chased out those who said that it was unfair. They are disqualified." Kawaki glanced at the staff member(Hyakka) at the side, then turned to the contestants again, and continued with a look of disdain, "You don't have any money, why are you chasing idols? What are you going to do to support your favorite idols? What about the idol's new album? Physical strength? You don't even have good physical strength, are you going to cheer for your idol on the hospital bed? Get the hell out, Cherry Boys!"

"Um, Gin-san, I take back what I said just now..." Shinpachi said expressionlessly, "This person is still playing."

Seeing the hundreds of OTAKUs being dragged away by Hyakka, the remaining contestants did not show any dissatisfaction.

"Cough cough," Kawaki cleared his throat and spoke again, "There are a lot of competitors missing all of a sudden, are you happy? But don't rush to be happy, and I will announce even more surprising news next!"

As he spoke, Kawaki took out a crumpled piece of paper from his bosom. After spreading it flat, he began to read word by word, "Because there is only one team that will win in the end, it is inevitable that other teams will feel disappointed. Therefore, for the sake of social stability and to appease the emotions of the losers. As the organizer, we will give every losing team Yoshiwara's 10% off experience coupons for the various stores in Yoshiwara!"

"What?! There are still prizes for losing?!"

"Yoshiwara's 10% off experience coupon?!"

"I'm starting to look forward to it!"

"Me too!"

"If that's the case, it doesn't matter even if I lose the competition! Speaking of which, I can even say goodbye to my virginity!"

"That's right! The organizer of this event really takes care of us!"

Listening to the whispers of the contestants, Shinpachi said with an expressionless face, "I don't want to complain anymore. There is no doubt that this is a discount scam..."

"No, you are wrong, Shinpachi." Gintoki crossed his arms and replied with a rare serious tone, "This is not just a simple discount scam. Look! Those contestants have already begun to lose interest in winning the competition! The so-called heart of victory that they have ignited has been smoothed out by this man!"

"It's... it's true!" Shinpachi looked at the competitors who were discussing going to that shop and sighed in surprise, "No... as expected of Kawaki-san who knows how to play with the hearts of OTAKUs! A simple speech was actually..."

Before Shinpachi could finish, Kawaki spoke again, "Well, don't be in a hurry to be excited. Cherry Boys, we haven't finished yet."

Only then did the OTAKUs quieten down. They looked at Kawaki, only to see him raise the microphone and continue, "Considering that there may be special circumstances, Yoshiwara's 10% off experience coupon can be exchanged for three-day free mayonnaise vouchers."

'Crooked wa!' Shinpachi's eyes widened in an instant, looked at Kawaki, and thought to himself, 'It's simply a crooked way! It was completely a trap set for Hijikata-san! Hijikata-san, who loves mayonnaise, would definitely be shaken! Well done! Kawaki-san!'

"Who wants that kind of thing? Hurry up and start the competition!"

"Yes, hurry up and start!"

The audience below the stage shouted one after another...

"Hey, Toshi, calm down." A certain gorilla in the crowd looked at Toshiro, who had his head lowered and his shoulders trembling. He reminded him, "This is a trap! It's a trap you can't fall for!"

"Bastard..." Toshiro lowered his head and gritted his teeth as he spoke word by word.

...

"Then, the competition will now officially begin!" Kawaki announced loudly. Then, he looked at Otsuu, who was standing to the side, "That... Otsuu-chan, please read out the rules of the competition."

"Eh?" Otsuu was flustered for a moment, "Didn't Kawaki-san just say that he had set up a new rule for the competition? I still don't know anything about it."

"How could there be such a thing?" Kawaki waved his hand and said indifferently, "How could I possibly think about such a troublesome matter?".

Shinpachi/Gintoki/Takaya/Kagura, 'This guy is really infuriating...'

"How about this?" Kawaki suddenly thought of something. He raised his index finger and suggested, "How about drawing lots? Isn't it very fair? In the end, Otsuu, you will draw the number plate of the lucky team. No one will complain. The chances of all teams are the same.".

"Eh? This, this..." Otsuu began to twist it, "Although it does look very fair, but..."

"Can't we?" Kawaki said doubtfully, "But I can only think of this method. It is fast, effective, and fair."

"Kawaki-san," Shinpachi walked over with the script that Kawaki had just thrown away and stuffed it into Kawaki's hands, "If you really don't know what to say, just follow the script... Don't say anything strange anymore."

"It's too troublesome," Kawaki complained, "The lines I prepared end here. After that, I have to go back to play games."

"Can you be a little more responsible?" The corners of Shinpachi's mouth twitched as he complained.

"Let me do it!" Gintoki took the script from Kawaki's hand with a displeased expression. After a slight glance, he pinched the script into a ball and threw it behind him.

"In short, the rules of the competition are very simple." Gintoki snatched the microphone from Kawaki's hand and raised his index finger. "Because it's too troublesome, we went directly to the finals, and now we want to distribute Otsuu's [Beep——] to all team. The team that eats up the fastest is the winning team."

Kagura held a stack of small plates in a timely manner and said to Otsuu, "Please! Ohhh!"

"Not a bad method, but it's just a little disgusting." Kawaki cupped his hands and nodded, "But having said that, do you need to go to this level to chase an idol now? Do you have to go to the point where you can eat [Beep——]? You are really amazing, Shinpachi."

"Don't listen to Gin-san's nonsense, Kawaki-san..." Shinpachi replied in a low voice and was somewhat speechless.

"Wait! What's going on with this messy competition?!"

"How many [Beep——] do you think Otsuu-chan can pull out?!"

"There must be a limit to making fun of Otsuu-chan! That should be enough!"

"Otsuu-chan doesn't know how to pull [Beep——] and fart! Get lost! Scum!"

The OTAKUs instantly became angry and expressed their dissatisfaction.

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