“You’re probably right,” Peter laughed. “Gotta say, not my favorite part. I thought worrying about you was a full-time job, but those two… man… it never stops.”
Peter shook his head with a smile, but Myka looked away. He let go of Peter’s hand and returned to the sink. The dishes were done, so he instead started scrubbing the sink. Peter noticed that something was off.
“Myka?” he called. “What’s wrong?”
Myka didn’t respond at first. But after a few silent moments, he gripped the side of the sink and took a deep breath.
“I know things have been busy,” he said. “That you have been focused on putting everyone back together, and we haven’t had much of a chance to talk through a lot of things.”
Peter furrowed his brow and moved toward Myka.
“I’m just waiting,” Myka continued nervously. “I know you’re angry. You have to be, so I’m waiting for you to let it out. I think it’s probably better if you yell at me now before Stefan comes home. So, we can work through it and try to move forward.”
Peter reached forward and grabbed Myka’s shoulders. He turned him so they were facing each other. Then, looking him in the eyes, he saw how scared Myka was.
“What are you talking about?” Peter asked. “Is this about your powers? I thought we talked that out.”
“We did, but you just comforted me,” Myka sighed. “I know you meant it, but come on, Peter, I know you. There is no way you weren’t angry about what happened.”
Peter took a breath and swallowed.
“You asked so many times before we left if I was sure it was safe,” Myka continued. “You even asked if Ashleigh was stable enough for the trip. I told you she was. I pushed for the kids to go. I promised. And then…”
Myka paused, clenching his jaw at the memory of Stefan wrapped in the creature's tail.
“Hey,” Peter called. “Listen to me.”
Peter reached up and grabbed both sides of Myka’s face.
“I do not blame you,” he said. “Yes, I was angry when I found out what happened.”
Myka looked into Peter’s eyes and swallowed.
“When Axel told me we would need to prepare a room for burn treatments? When he said it was you, Sadie, and Stefan that got hurt? Ask him if you want. I did not react well.”
Peter clenched his jaw.
The day Axel came to his office and told him about the conversation with Alpha Ross, Peter screamed at Axel. But when he was told to prepare a burn room, he took a swing at him.
It was the first time in Peter’s life that he had ever gotten violent toward another wolf by his own choice. Furthermore, it was undoubtedly the first time he had ever displayed that behavior to an Alpha.
Axel had allowed himself to be hit, and he did not hold it against Peter. But he did prevent him from trying again.
The two days that his mate and his children stayed in Bustling Bush before returning to Winter had been the longest days of his life. Knowing they were alive helped, of course, but wondering how bad it was had driven him crazy.
He didn’t know how he would react when he saw them. It was one of the reasons he had rushed back to the room when he heard they were close. He needed to get his mind into that of treatment rather than that of a family member.
When Stefan was wheeled into the room, his heart caught in his throat. But seeing the fear and concern on Myka’s face outside the window calmed his own mind. He focused on the treatment; he took care of his patient.
After the initial treatment, Peter checked on Sadie while Myka slept on the couch nearby.
Peter had rushed out of the room and to the bathroom then. He locked the door and burst into tears, huddled on the floor for half an hour before he could calm himself again.
He was angry. He was furious, terrified, and desperate. But once they were back, once he could see each and every one of them, all he could feel was how grateful he was that they had come back.
Peter could see how afraid he was as he looked into Myka’s eyes. Their relationship had grown, and they were happy. But, like Myka said, just because they had found joy in life didn’t mean they could forget the pain. Peter had left Myka before, and a part of him might always be a little scared that it could happen again.
He wrapped his arms around Myka’s neck and pulled him down into a hug. Myka immediately wrapped his arms around Peter.
“I was angry, but never at you,” Peter whispered. “I was terrified that I would lose my family before we ever got a chance to be one. But I’m not angry now. I’m just grateful.”
Myka squeezed Peter, and Peter could feel the shuddering breaths of his mate’s tears. He reached up and stroked his hair gently.
“Stop holding it in, Myka,” Peter said. “Talk to me when it hurts. Tell me the things you’re scared of. We’ll get through it all together. I’m not going anywhere.”
Myka let out a sob.
“I’ll chase you,” Myka whispered. “Sadie will too.”
“Stefan will set traps,” Peter added with a smile.
Myka nodded and hugged Peter just a little tighter.
***
“I’m sorry,” Axel said.
Myka turned to him, his brows furrowed.
“For what?” Myka asked, taking a seat in the chair across from Axel.
Axel lowered his head.
“I should have been more aware of what was happening. I should have made sure that the report I received was accurate,” he said quietly.
“Do you normally check the accuracy of the reports you receive from your scouts?” Myka asked.
Axel shook his head.
“We have never had a reason to,” he said.
“Then how could you know?” Myka sighed.
“I knew how desperate she was,” Axel said. “I should have paid more attention.”
Myka took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Didn’t we all?” he asked, tipping his head to the side. “Didn’t we all see that she was barely keeping her head above the water?”
Axel clenched his jaw and lowered his eyes.
“We have all tried to help her in our own way,” Myka continued. “Through friendship, through understanding and patience. Even if she didn’t see it, we have all tried.”
“She can’t see it,” Axel said, “her pain won’t let her.”
Myka looked carefully at Axel. He was a good man, a strong man.
When Alice first brought Myka to Winter, his primary concern was finding and reconnecting with Peter. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t concerned about the nomads joining forces with the young Alpha of Winter.
He didn’t know what to expect. But, then, all he had to go on were his past experiences with pack wolves and authority figures.
Myka had assumed he would be arrogant, headstrong, and rigid. He would look down on the nomads and threaten them until they agreed to whatever he wanted without any benefit.
But what he had not expected was the person that sat before him.
Axel was a man that cared not just about the people in his charge but the wolves as a whole. He was decisive and tactful. He always considered the consequences of his actions far beyond himself. He was not afraid to listen to the advice and opinions of others, but rather, he encouraged it.
He also loved fiercely and passionately. His family, whether it be his mate or his sister, they were everything to him.
But now, there was nothing that he could do to save Ashleigh. Nothing he could say, and no one he could fight.
Myka saw the same pain in Axel’s eyes as in Bell’s and even his own. They all wanted to help her. To comfort her.
Suddenly he was reminded of the conversation he had had with Peter. They had talked only briefly about Ashleigh.
Peter had been one of the few people that had not gone out of their way to try and make things better or easier for her while she was in Winter.
Myka had found it strange because he knew Peter cared greatly for her. He knew that he worried about her and how she was handling the loss of Caleb, but he had kept back.
When Myka asked why, Peter had a very simple thought about how best to help her.
‘Sometimes the only thing you can do for someone is wait for them to fall and then offer your hand to help them back up.’
Myka, Bell, Axel. They had all been trying so hard to help Ashleigh, to keep from hurting her or making things harder for her. But if she wasn’t ready to accept their help, was there ever really anything they could have done?
Myka took a deep breath. He looked up at Axel.
“You have nothing to apologize for. You did what you were supposed to do. I made my choices, and so did Ashleigh. So I don’t blame her,” Myka said, “But it’s time for us to step back and let her solve her own problems. We can't do anything for her if she doesn’t want our help.”
Axel looked away.
“That’s what Alice said,” he sighed.
Myka nodded.
“Axel, I know you love your sister. We all do. But you are about to be a father,” he said. “Your family needs your attention more than she does.”
Axel swallowed and nodded.
“You’re right,” he said. “I need to let go.”
Axel was relieved in his own way, but Myka could also see the pain it caused him to acknowledge the truth.
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