Chapter 793: Pride and Roles
What do you mean I wont survive my next trial? Alex asked the Registrar. Are you talking about the Ravener?
Yes, you mean to fully engage with the great enemy of your homeland, do you not? Hobb asked, his eyes locked on Alexs. The young wizard met the devils gaze, though it felt like those otherworldly eyes were piercing him, seeking his soul.
Hobb smiled at that. Good.
Wait, what's good? Alex asked.
You met my gaze with no sign of fear, Hobb said. Good, if you mean to pit yourself against this Ravener. I have been learning details about thisthing from members of the expedition to your home country.
Right, Alex said. But what does that have to do with me likely dying against it?
The issue is that you are about to face an entity that is very old and very mighty, Hobb continued. And you mean to face it with the mindset of a humble little scholarship wizard-student from a small town on a small island. If you approach it with that mindset, your attempt will fail spectacularly.
I don't understand what you're talking about, registrar, Alex said. I'm going against it with the mindset of someone who's going to war.
You mean like a mortal, going to war, Hobb said. But you are at the very limit of what a mortal actually is. And you have not adjusted to that fact.
Alex frowned, trying to puzzle out what the devil was saying. You know, this would be a lot easier if you old and powerful entities didn't talk in riddles all the time.
It's not a riddle, Hobb said smoothly. It's cryptic, true, but easy to grasp for any archwizard. You have survived trials that have brought other spell casters low, solved puzzles that would stifle the growth of any other wizard. You did not reach ninth-tier by not being able to grasp and puzzle things out.So why would I make this easy for you, like you are some novice to wizardry?
Alex rolled his eyes. Fine. So you're saying that my mindset doesnt suit me?
You're getting close, Hobbs voice sang.
Does this amuse you? Professor Jules asked. You're not testing some paladin on their way into the hells, registrar. Youre simply wasting our time.
Hobb crooked up his lips in amusement. The allotted time that Id budgeted for our meeting was precisely thirty-five minutes. At fifteen minutes, we were already through with what you came to me for. Do you have other pressing appointments, either of you?
No, Jules admitted sourly.
Not right away, Alex said.
Then we have time for a bit of amusement, don't we? Hobbs eyes seemed to sparkle with malicious joy.
Ugh, Professor Jules scoffed.
It's okay, I think I've almost got what hes hinting at, professor. Alex held up a hand toward Jules, while meeting Hobbs eyes. He noted the devil's face slightly relaxing when the young wizard kept his eyes fixed on him. You think that I'm still thinking too much like a mortal. Thinking, andno that's not quite right, acting too much like Im not an archwizard.
In a sense, Hobb said. Youre getting warmer.
You said something about pride, you think Im too humble? the young archwizard asked.
Now youre scorching hot, Hobb said in amusement. Now think about this, my young archwizardly friend. How did you behave toward me when you walked into my office today?
Uhlike a student, looking to gain access to the library? Alex asked.
Professor Jules palm met her forehead. Mr. Roth
Well? the wizard spread his hands. I did, didn't I?
Hobb laughed. You did. And that is precisely the problem. A young archwizard is what you presently are, and that is as different from the scholarship student I met a time ago, as an archdevil is from a freshly whelped imp.
UhI guess youre right, Alex said. Even though I dont know as much about devils as you do. Maybe theres some really powerful imps out there.
Hobb chuckled. How charmingly nave, Mr. Roth. Devils are very different from demons because we are dedicated to law. To rules. To roles. Each devil has its own role to play in our hierarchy, and we must fulfil that role, along with any additional oaths, deals or pacts that we acquire.
What's your role? Alex asked him.
Hobb simply smiled. You wouldn't believe me if I told you. But, why dont we move along? While I despise the rampant chaos of betrayal displayed by demons, I always find amusement in the duality of mortals. You are all boiling cauldrons of unchecked lust, and whim, yet you all submit willingly to rules that you yourselves create! It is not your nature to be regulated, and yet you try to mimic the orderly laws of the universe and devildom. You create roles for yourselves, and then you play them as though you were on a stage.
Rightand you think that I've changed roles, but Im not playing mine correctly, Alex reasoned.
Precisely, Hobb continued. You are now an archwizard, not a hapless apprentice any longer, so you must behave as such. Apprentices come into my office looking for permission, begging and trying to lighten the mood with silly comedy.
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I like my silly comedy Alex said.
Archwizards speak to me as equals or near equals, the devils voice cracked like a whip. Baelin does not come to me with a humble demeanour. He does not come to me as though he is subservient. To do so, is to implicitly offer dominionto the one you are speaking to. A peasant grovels in the dirt before their mortal king. A mortal at the kings court wrings their hands trying to appease their liege at every opportunity. What does a foreign queen do? She speaks to the king as an equal. She does not demand, but neither does she act servile. She assesses, and does not show weakness. But you wear weakness as proudly as a king wears his crown.
Well, I don't know about that, the young wizard cut in.
You were afraid of me once, Hobb said, his eyes fixed on Alex. You still are.
The young wizard paused. That wasn't completely untrue. He wasn't afraid of Hobb, but he was cautious of him. He was a lot more powerful than he let on, and Alex couldn't read his body language very well. The registrar was unpredictable. A dangerous mystery, and dangerous mysteries deserved to be treated with caution. Afraid isnt the word Id use. Cautiousis more like it.
Commendable, Hobb said. But too much caution is little more than fear.
Now Alex frowned, his curiosity giving way to the beginnings of irritation.
Goooood, the devil said.
Now, what's good? the young archwizard asked him.
You're beginning to get the right mindset, Hobb said. You should be irritated with me. Im irritating you, after all.
And why are you irritating me? Alex frowned. I know you're trying to teach me a lesson, but the question I have is, why? For your own amusement?
Yes, Hobb said. As well as insurance.
Insurance for or against what? Alex asked. You want to keep me alive, it seems, but why?
Because, an obscenely long time ago, I met a barbarian beastman that I saw potential in. I also met a young elven woman in a street gutter. And a young human warlords son. All three sparked with potential. All three came to power. One had the right mindset, the other two did not. Only one of them lives today, and I miss the amusement and connection that I had with the other two. I think you would be a fine ally and source of interest for many thousands of years to come.
Rightso thats why you want to keep me alive, Alex said. By teaching me to have the proper mindset for my role? Let me take a guess. The barbarian beastman was Baelin: he developed into a Proper Wizard. The young woman from the gutter, she was too humble. The warlords son, too arrogant. They didnt match their roles, and that got both of them killed, right?
Oh, you were so close. Hobb raised a hand, palm up.. It was actually the young elven woman who proved too arrogant. She came to power too quickly and became a simple imp lording over a kingdom of slugs, figuratively speaking. Since she grew to be more powerful than the wretches around her, she assumed herself unstoppable. Beyond reproach. She had too much pride. And that got her killed when she challenged something far beyond her. She did not fit her role.
Hobb raised the other hand, palm up. The young warlords son had the opposite problem. He was the weakest of his brothers, weaker than his father, weaker than his mother, and weaker than his familys enemies. Even as he grew in power, he could not see himself as anything but a worm, even when he surpassed those that he behaved subservient to. He would go into every battle cringing, and that show of fear eventually cost him his life.
So you're saying that they didn't fit their roles, and that got them both killed, Alex said. And that was because they didn't adjust to their new stature in life?
Exactly. Hobb folded his hands behind his back. And you very much remind me of the warlords son. There are certain creatures, in the universe, that can gain power over you in ways that you do not anticipate. To hate something is to give it power over you until it destroys you or you destroy it. To love something is to give it power over you, especially if it eventually betrays you. And to fear something? Well, that grants power to many beings in the universe. Beings such as myself.
Alex thought back to his encounter with the firbolgs in Kymiland. He still had the Mark of the Fool then, and wouldn't have been able to physically fight any of them. So what had he done? Hed intimidated the giants; hed actually had little power over them, but their fear gave him power over them.
Then he thought of the Ravener.
Oh, Alex said. So you think because I still have the mindset of a student, that would give the Ravener power over me.
There are many demon lords that are strengthened by the fear of their enemies, and from what I have heard, dungeon cores arein partfuelled by mortal fear, Hobb pointed out. You are about to face such a creature in battle. And you are about to face it with the mindset of a first year student. Of an apprentice. Should an apprentice wizard be afraid of your Ravener?
Yeah, very afraid. Alex nodded vigorously.
Should you be afraid of it? Hobb cocked his head. Should you be afraid of me? Should you be afraid of Baelin? You said you should be cautious, and I agree with that. I am cautious of Baelin, but I dont fear him. This gives him less power over me. Youre an archwizard now, wielder of terrible powers, and you will likely only grow in strength and skill.
but if I walk into battle afraid, then Ill be giving my enemy power, Alex reasoned.
Precisely.
Right the young archwizard paused. but I kinda disagree with some of what you're saying. He paused. No, you know what? I really disagree with it.
Oh? Hobbs eyes sparked.
You keep focusing on my caution and humility, saying that those things are weaknesses. Saying that they mean fear, Alex said. I reject that and I feel that because of my strength, I should be able to act the way I want to act. If I want to be friendly and make jokes, I will. You can't tell me not to act like that because I'm strong. At the same time, I can't just walk around pretending that I'm unstoppable and demanding things. That's just going to make enemies and make me overestimate myself. I'm an archwizard, but I'm still fallible. If I act the way I want to, and people see that as a weakness, that actually puts me in a stronger position because they wont see me coming.
He grimaced, thinking about the First Apostle. I recently fought someone that I'd say I was stronger than in a lot of ways. I outsmarted himthen he outsmarted me. Just because I could cast ninth-tier spells, didn't mean that I could walk into that fight without caution.
So you reject my words? Hobb said.
Like I said, I do, Alex said. If the mindset of an archwizard is that you have power, then I have the power to define what strength is. I say what fear is. I define my own role, no matter what you say it is. Uldar once made me a Fool for his own purposes. Now you say, I don't act like a proper archwizard. I say, both of you are wrong, and that I'm the one who says what I am.
Hobb burst out laughing. Very, very good! Perhaps you are further along than I gave you credit for. I think you will be a very interesting person to watch over the coming years and centuries. Just be carefulthat you do not mistake delusion for defining your own truth. A person who simply deceives themselves about their own fear is still afraid. Ponder this, my delightfully chaotic mortal friend. You embody cautiousness and recklessness. Both have their uses. Decide what is going to be most useful in this trial ahead. Decide wrong? And all will be for naught. I believe that concludes our thirty-five minutes. Best of luck, Archwizard Alex Roth. I will be watching you with interest.
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