Mark of the Fool

Chapter 509: The Death of the Beard

We are gathered here today to send off a brave warrior, Khalik said sadly, putting his hand on Alexs shoulder. Let it be known that he fought well and hard, but now must fall to benefit others. What do we call that?

A Hero, Thundar and Alex echoed.

Oh by the elements, Isolde rolled her eyes. I cannot believe you called me out here for such a thing. The young noblewoman squinted at the position of the late evening sun setting as ocean waves crashed over the Generasi beach. A small, hand-crafted boatonly large enough to contain a childs dolllay before them. Just shave it off, already!

Shhh! Alex clutched his beard protectively. Youre scaaaaaaring him.

The young noblewoman made a sound as though an invisible hand was strangling her and turned away, shaking her head.

Itll be alright, little one. Alex patted his beard sadly. A day will come when you will rise again. For as long as I live, you are immortal.

Please do not inflict such cruelty on Theresa, Isolde muttered. You have given her hope. Do not dash it away now. That is more cruel than giving no hope at all.

Quiet, Isolde. Thundar lowered his horned head. Were grieving.

Yes Alex said, as grimly as a man condemning his brother to death. Let us be done with it.

He brought up the straight razor.

The operation did not take long.

With what felt like a few quick scrapes, it was over.

Alex gathered the remains of his beard with the greatest care, and laid it to rest in the small boat. My cabal mates, we are gathered today to bid farewell to a fallen comrade.

Utterly ridiculous, Isolde muttered.

Let it be known that he was with me through thick and thinand through many dangers. But, sometimes, we go where even our closest cannot follow, Alex pronounced.

Where even our closest cannot follow, Thundar and Khalik echoed.

They turned to Isolde, who stared at them in utter incredulity.

You cannot be serious. She shook her head. I shall not say it.

Please, Khalik said. For all of us.

...will it get us off of this beach faster?

Likely, yes.

Where even our closest cannot followBla, bla, bla, put the ridiculous boat in the water and light it on fire already! Isolde snapped.

Father Claygon leaned down toward the beard. I was not going to say anything butthis is dead hair. It has no feelings, and you likely appear disturbed to everyone around youexcept for Khalik and Thundar.

Its about the sentiment! Alex cried in an overly dramatic manner. Its about the poetry!

You would never understand, either of you, Khalik sounded pained. Let us see it done. Your beard does not deserve to hear such disrespect.

Yes, Alex said, picking up the boat gently. Good night, sweetest of princes

Put. The. Boat. In. The. Water. Isolde growled from between clenched teeth. Or I swear on the elements I will paste it back on your face if you miss it so much!

Ugh, such disrespect. He shook his head sadly, placing the vessel in the water. May the tides carry you to the after-world

It is hair! Isolde screamed.

I do not thinkthe beard hasa soulfather Claygon said, the confusion clear in his voice.

Such cruelty! Alex cried. May the next world be more gentle!

He pushed the boat out to sea, watching as the tide took it deep into quiet waters.

As it drifted away, Alex raised his head, about to sing a funeral dirge but a look-that-could-kill-a-demon-lord radiated from Isolde, stopping him. Instead, he, Khalik and Thundar watched the boat drift deep into the water in respectful silence.

And so, Alexander Roth sent his first beard into a kinder place, and turned to his golem. Claygonin some northern funeral customs, an outgoing burial boat is set on fire by a flaming arrow to cremate the dead. If you would do the honours.

The golems head darted between Alex and the boat. FatherI am not so surethat is a good idea.

Alex placed a hand on his arm. Please. For me. For the beard.

For the beard, Thundar and Khalik echoed.

Strike me down, Isolde begged the heavens. Strike me down. I am ready for sweet death.

Ifthat is what you wantfather Claygon turned toward the boat.

His central fire-gem flared bright.

A lance of flame fired from his forehead.

It was beautiful: the orange light of Claygons flame shone across the waters, mixing with the reflection of the setting sun. Thundar and Khalik began to sing the funeral dirge. In Alexs imagination, it was as though a hundred spirits of fire had risen to see his beard into the after-world.

And then, the beam struck the boat.

And the boatquite predictablyexploded.

Instead of flame springing to life and igniting the vessel, burning brightly and cremating the remains of the deadbeard, a column of flame erupted, exploding boat, beard, and several unfortunate fish, sending all boiling into the air in a column of fire and steam.

Thundar and Khalik stopped singing.

Alex stared at the boiling ruins, his mouth gaping.

Isolde nodded in satisfaction. The elements were smiling on me today.

No sooner had she said those words than the wind shifted.

It whipped over the beach, carrying with it anunforeseen consequence of fiery burials on the open seas.

Oh, by the Traveller! Alex screamed, the stench of burnt hair and fish skin assaulting his nose. That stink!

By my ancestors! Thundars eyes began to water. This is worse than the hells!

My nose! My eyes! Isolde screamed.

Flee! Prince Khalik cried. Abandon your posts! Fleeee, flee for your lives!

Screaming and coughing, the cabal stumbled off the beach nauseated, leaving behind a terrible stench and a very, very, very confused golem.

...to simply burn hairwhy did father use a boat? he wondered aloud, turning to follow his screaming father.

Alex hated to admit it, but the absence of itching was nice.

Rubbing his now smooth cheeks, he reclined in a long divan on his rooftop garden, with the spell-guide for Planar Doorway floating before him, held up by a pair of crimson-glowing Wizards Hands.

Along with the moon, they provided enough light for him to read by.

It was late into the night in Generasi, and the muted sounds from still busy taverns reached him from the distance, but all was quiet on Alexs street except for the occasional hums, thuds and clattering from Shales workshop. The rest of his family was long asleep, Claygon stood nearby, watching the street below, his head tracking night travellers going about their business.

Altogether, it was a quiet night, one perfect for deep study, which was a very good thing: the spell array for Planar Doorway was intensely complex.

In some ways, it was similar to other teleportation and summoning spells he had already learned: Like Call through Iceand other spells that sent smallitems through tiny gateways in elemental planesbut of a level of complexity hed never encountered before.

The magic circuit had to account for a host of variables.

Planar Doorway would cast an object from the material planebriefly taking it through another plane of existenceand back to the material world in less than a heartbeat. Except, with this spell, the object was the living caster themselves, providing the wizard with the ability to instantaneously move from one place to another, though the spell had a relatively short range of up to a thousand feet.

It also allowed the caster to transport an equivalent weight of matter with them, including other living beings.

And that was where things got a bit tricky.

Sending a small inanimate object across the planes for instant movement was one thing, but living beings were complex: at the same time, both durable yet fragile, often in unexpected ways.

Alex had read of cases where average folk had survived a fall from a hundred feet or more. But, hed also read about cases where a fall from three feet had killed a grown man instantly.

When using teleportation spells, the shock of passing through two or more planes instantaneously was far more dangerous than a fall; it had to be carefully managed by the spell. Magic Circuits had to control the casters movement across the planes, or it might send them into a wall of ice, an astral vortex, a powerful inferno, or some other life-ending hazard.

Naturally, that would be bad, and so the Magic Circuit had to detect hazards across the planes, ensuring that it avoided them when sending the wizard across the boundaries of reality.

Then there was an issue of orientation.

While the average person might think of the ground as static and unmoving, both a wizard and an astronomer knew better: the world was constantly moving, spinning and rushing around its sun in a never ending orbit. A teleportation spell that did not account for that movement could smash the wizard against the ground, or simply leave them catapulting endlessly through the sky.

And there were other factors the magic circuit had to account for as well.

All in all, it made for perhaps the most complex spell array Alex had faced yet.

Okay, he said, scrawling an entry into his notebook. Even with that inner power helping me, this is going to take some time.

Whyis thatfather? Claygons head turned one hundred and eighty degrees, staring at Alex in a way that sent a shudder through the young wizard. Heads were not meant to turn that far. Unless one was an owl. Is itbecauseyou are stillgrieving?

Claygon, Alex said very seriously. We promised never to speak of the funeral again.

ButI have so many questions

Claygon, youre killing me. Alex pleaded.

Okayfor now

Thank you. The young wizard sighed in relief. So, basically, the spell has a lot of different components to it. The Magic Circuit is complicated, and if I screw it up, then theres a lot of ways it could turn me into a corpse. Or maybe many, many parts of a corpse.

...that would be sadwould I then need a funeral boat for you? the golem asked with sincerity.

Claygon! Alex choked. You promised!

But I wasnt speaking of the beach

Claygon!

Alrightno moreboats. Soif this spell is so dangerouswould He looked to where the aeld staff lay against the garden trellis. ...putting that magicin your staffbe better?

In some ways, yes, Alex said. But itd take me a bit of time to formulate the right infusion for magic thats this complex, and itd take even longer for the staff to absorb it and create a new bloom. I probably could pull it off in time, butif worse comes to worsewed be going to Cretalikon without my staff. And thats a risk I cant afford to take.

Thatmakes sense

Besides, if I want to learn more about whatever this power is within me, itd be better if I learned teleportation spells myself. And if I break through to fourth-tier with this spell, itll help me gather more power. So, yeah, Im stuck with this complex spell for now.

Ihopeyoulearn it faster than you fear you could

Thanks, Claygon, I hope so too. Itll give me a lot to do while were making the other preparations for the trip. And speaking of thatany sign of him, yet?

Not yetfather Claygon said. I have been watching every passerby, but havewaitI think I see him. Smallmoving very fast.

Thats Ripp, alright. Alex jumped up from his divan, fetching his staff and casting flight magic over himself. Ill be right back, Claygon, this shouldnt take too long.

He reached down, picking up a heavy pouch from beside the divan. Hold the fort for me.

Indeed the golem said. Andfather, I have one final question.

And I might have one final answer, Alex replied.

WillRipp alsohonour your beard?

Claygon! Alex choked. Are you doing this on purpose? Youre doing this on purpose, arent you?

The golems head cocked to the side. Whywould I be doing anything on purposefather? I amlearning.

Learning to make me suffer, Alex muttered. No more, alright, no more!

Iunderstand

With a final scandalised look, the Thameish wizard leapt from the roof, floating down to meet Ripp in the street below.

His golem watched him for a time. MaybeI will askTheresainstead

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