The evening was approaching.
I found myself reflecting on what had happened with Ner and Arwin.
Even when Arwin collapsed and bled, I hadn’t helped her up. When Ner pleaded with me, I didn’t give her a comforting embrace.
Were those choices truly the right ones? I wondered to myself.
But nothing can change.
I had no intention of abandoning Sien for their sake.
The time I spent with Sien made me happy, and I was eagerly awaiting the birth of our child.
Though nothing would change, I couldn’t help but question if leaving them behind had been the wrong decision.
Sien and I were out on a walk in the forest behind our house.
It was the same forest Ner and I used to visit every day.Sitting quietly beside her, I reminisced about the events of the day.
Sien nudged my cheek with her finger and asked softly.
“...What are you thinking about so deeply?”
“…”
Those were the words I couldn’t speak aloud.
In response to my silence, Sien hugged my arm even tighter.
“...You’ve been going through a rough time lately, Bell.”
She whispered.
At her words, I turned my head and asked.
“Why?”
“...Because you’re struggling.”
“...”
Sien gave a soft laugh and spoke.
“...I just want you to be happy, Bell.”
“...”
“...But it feels like the world is only tormenting you.”
At her words, I gently stroked her hair.
Just hearing her say that gave me immense strength.
I wanted to believe that I could endure this difficult time.
Life wouldn’t always be this hard.
At that moment, a loud commotion erupted from the direction of the village.
I didn’t know what was happening, but the noise sent my heart plummeting once again.
What other ominous event could be unfolding on top of everything else?
“…”
“…”
Exchanging a glance with Sien, I quickly started walking towards the village.
.
.
.
Baran was entering the village.
They had set out earlier that day to deal with the bandit group.
“What happened?”
Gale and I ran over to Baran and asked.
He was covered in more blood than usual, his eyes vacant as he turned to look at me.
“…Captain.”
He blinked slowly.
I knew that look all too well.
It was the look of someone who had experienced loss.
A cold chill ran down my spine.
As much as I didn’t want to make distinctions, the death of comrades who had fought beside me in war was always more painful than the death of strangers in the village.
Gritting my teeth, I asked Baran.
“...Who?”
He whispered the name with great difficulty.
“...It’s Krian.”
Krian, a high-ranking member of the Red Flames group.
He had always been close with Theodore.
As I bit my lip, Krian’s body was dragged into view behind us.
I looked at him, his body battered and bruised, his eyes closed.
Sien gasped softly beside me.
Ner and Arwin, who had also rushed out at the commotion, stood there in stunned silence.
“…”
Slowly, I knelt beside Krian.
“…How did this happen?”
I quietly asked Baran.
“There was an ambush. A large one.”
“How many?”
“I’d estimate over fifty.”
“What about the enemy?”
“…We killed about half of them, but then we had to retreat. We thought getting Krian treatment was the priority…”
It seemed Krian had died on the way back to Stockpin.
Once again, I had lost one of my own.
The pressure kept piling up. A suffocating weight crushed my chest.
I placed a hand on Krian’s chest and closed my eyes.
Even my immediate rage was suppressed for now.
This wasn’t the time for anger. It wasn’t the emotion I needed to feel as I let him go.
I slowly stood up.
Sien came up beside me and held me.
“…”
I gently patted her hand and stepped out of the embrace.
Ner and Arwin were standing a little distance away, silently watching me.
“…”
“…”
Both of them wore expressions of grief deeper than mine.
As I looked at them, I began to walk.
Something inside me was starting to change, bit by bit.
****
In bed, I listened to Sien’s endless words of comfort.
“…Bell, I know nothing I say can truly console you, but…”
I gently patted her.
“It’s okay, Sien.”
“…”
“Come on, get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow.”
I spoke softly, calming her with words, and closed my eyes, pretending to drift off.
It didn’t take long before Sien’s breathing grew soft and steady, signaling she had fallen asleep.
Once I was sure she was deep in slumber… I quietly slipped out of bed.
I even grabbed the sword from the corner of the room.
This impulsive act felt like the most natural thing to do.
I moved slowly, leaving the room, then the house.
Thud!
At that moment, two figures burst out, following me.
It was Ner and Arwin.
“…Where are you going?” Ner asked first.
Looking down at the sword in my hand, I realized there was no point in lying.
“I’ll be back soon.”
Arwin was the next to speak.
“…Berg, don’t.”
It seemed she already knew what I intended to do.
Perhaps it was because she had seen the way I used to be during our days as mercenaries.
“You… you’re the lord now. Don’t you know how reckless this is? You can’t be doing things like this anymore…”
“…”
I took a deep breath and swallowed hard.
Pressing a hand to my chest, I spoke to them.
“…I feel suffocated.”
I turned to face them, revealing my true feelings—something I hadn’t done in a long time.
I hadn’t been able to tell Sien because I knew how much it would worry her.
“It’s suffocating, being constantly limited. I used to live this way… this was my way.”
They said nothing.
“…Being a noble… being a lord… it stifles me.”
As a noble, the weight of responsibility had grown, while the risks I could afford to take had shrunk.
If I considered the whole domain, I knew that my duty was to stay safe, to lead from a place of security.
But the habits I’d formed from my time in the slums, and from leading Head Hunter unit, kept clashing with that reality.
If I had gone out alone and wiped out the entire bandit group… would Krian still be alive today?
Maybe.
That thought tormented me.
I began to walk again.
Instantly, they both rushed forward, grabbing my arms.
“Don’t.”
Arwin’s voice trembled.
“Y-you have a child now, Berg. Don’t do this.”
Ner, too, brought up the child.
I turned to look at them.
For the first time in a long while, it felt like I was facing them without any walls between us, and a cool breeze swept through my chest.
Oddly enough, once I let go of the desire to push them away, I felt more at ease.
...Of course, nothing had really changed, but still.
“...You both know me.”
They were probably the easiest people in the world to convince.
Even though things had come to this point, Ner and Arwin knew me as well as Sien did.
With just those simple words, Ner and Arwin released my hands.
I turned back around and headed toward the stables.
****
In Stockpin’s territory, around a roaring campfire, Rondil laughed with his surviving comrades.
Today’s haul wasn’t too bad.
Half of their group had been slaughtered by a mere ten members of the Red Flames group, but the remaining 25 men were still a decent force.
At sunrise, they could move on to another territory and continue their banditry.
For now, all they had to do was feast on the stolen food and drink.
“Bring more ale!” Rondil shouted to a comrade near the barrels.
He was using the looted goods to drown his frustrations.
Just two years ago, he had been doing fine as a mercenary.
But then, out of nowhere, the hero had slain the Demon King, and as a result, all the mercenaries lost their livelihoods.
Rondil still couldn’t understand how his life had changed so drastically, going from living in luxury to this wretched existence in a blink.
He had preferred the world during wartime.
If he thought about it that way, the champions chosen by the gods were his true enemies.
The hero and his comrades, including Acran, the mage Sylphrien, the saintess, and the “Warrior of Solitude,” Berg Reiker.
If it hadn’t been for them, he would still be living a good life.
That made today’s success all the sweeter.
They had rampaged through the territory of the saintess and Berg Reiker.
On top of that, there was a hint of jealousy toward the Red Flames, who had once been in the same mercenary group but had gone on to receive a fief and live comfortably, while Rondil was cast out onto the streets.
He took a long swig of ale and muttered.
“Damn shame. We should’ve killed more of those bastards. I told you to stay hidden better. If Kraus had taken just a little longer to get caught…”
A comrade beside him responded.
“At least Kraus died today. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“Leave it? Like hell. If it wasn’t for that screw-up, everyone would still be alive. You think fifty of us couldn’t take down ten of them?”
Rondil grumbled, recounting the battle with regret.
But his comrade shuddered, as if chilled by the memory.
“…The Red Flames members were strong, all right. But that Berg guy… they say he was on another level. How strong is he really?”
Rondil continued thinking about Berg Reiker.
He’d heard rumors that Berg had personally taken down close to 200 boss monsters.
As a fellow mercenary, Rondil found that hard to believe.
“…Humans always exaggerate their stories. What reason do we have to believe that?”
Thunk. Whoosh!
At that moment, something flew into the fire, sending sparks into the air.
Everyone’s heads turned toward the sudden disturbance.
But all they saw was darkness.
“…What was that?”
Rondil raised his head, trying to figure out what had flown into the fire.
“…What?”
Upon closer inspection, he saw it—a severed wrist lying among the flames.
Crackle!
Every bandit who saw the hand immediately jumped up, grabbing their weapons.
They had posted lookouts, yet not a single warning had come from them.
Rondil, still slightly drunk, scanned the area around him.
If an army had come to kill them, they would have heard it. There had been no sign, no sound of an approaching force.
“…C-Come out. Stop hiding like a coward.”
Step… step…
No sooner had he spoken than someone began walking out into the bright light of the campfire.
“…This should’ve happened from the start.”
The figure spoke.
A moment later, a human revealed himself.
Tall, handsome, with scarred arms… and a large gash on his face.
Everything about him pointed to one person.
“…Berg… Reiker…”
Rondil whispered.
He couldn’t believe it.
This man was a lord.
A war hero. There was no reason for him to be here.
“…Ha… Did you come alone…?”
Rondil, summoning all the courage he had, asked the question.
Berg Reiker turned his gaze toward Rondil.
In the split second Rondil regretted asking, he saw Berg raise his sword in a flash.
…And that was the last thing Rondil ever remembered.
****
I steadied my ragged breath as I rode back.
I didn’t bother with the bandits’ bodies; the wild animals would take care of that.
After putting my body through such a grueling ordeal, my mind felt clearer.
As I thought, this is what suited me best.
No matter how much I was now a lord, hiding behind others wasn’t my way.
“…Fool.”
When I returned to Stockpin, someone was waiting for me, leaning against the wooden palisade.
“…”
It was Gale.
I figured that Ner and Arwin must have gone to him for help after seeing me leave.
“…”
I had nothing to say to him.
I knew I was being reckless.
But this was always how I operated.
And Gale had always hated this about me.
Back when we were mercenaries, he never stopped nagging me about it.
“What were you planning to do if you’d died? Did you not think about the child growing inside Sien?”
“…What are you doing up at this hour, Gale?”
I dismounted my horse as he stood there, arms crossed, waiting for me.
Gale slowly approached, his face filled with concern.
“…Are you hurt?”
“…Just a few cuts.”
“…”
I moved to head inside, thinking of washing up and lying back down.
“Wait.”
Gale stopped me in my tracks.
“…?”
I turned to him, and he spoke with a weight in his voice that I hadn’t heard before.
“…Before you go into the village, let’s talk for a bit.”
“…”
His tone and expression were different—he was about to bring up something much heavier than usual.
After a brief pause, Gale began.
“…Berg, do you know why I’ve stayed here all this time?”
I thought back to the many things Gale had told me and answered.
“…Wasn’t it because of the debt of loyalty you felt toward Adam Hyung?”
Gale nodded.
“Yes, that was part of it. But there was another reason.”
“…”
Gale took a deep breath and continued, looking straight at me.
“It was because of you.”
“…Because of me?”
“…After Adam’s death, I knew you’d lose your way. You’re like a discarded sword—useful, but not a leader. A tool, in a sense.”
“…”
“…You’re not suited to be a leader. A leader must be able to abandon even those he cares about… but you’re too attached, too compassionate. Your sense of responsibility is so great that you carry the weight of every death you’ve witnessed. That’s why you feel more comfortable shouldering it all alone.”
“…”
Gale’s candidness always made his words easy to trust.
And truthfully, I couldn’t disagree with what he was saying.
Even Adam Hyung had often told me the same thing, and I had come to realize it myself.
So while I felt a sense of gratitude, I was also puzzled.
“…Why are you telling me this now?”
In response to my fundamental question, Gale placed his hand on my shoulder.
I couldn’t quite understand where he was going with this.
“I’m telling you because I’ve finally come to a realization. You… you’re not suited for this life. Living like this will only keep you from finding happiness.”
“…What?”
Gale’s face hardened as he spoke.
“…What do you think about leaving this place?”
It was just the two of us, under the moonlight, with no one else around to hear.
It didn’t feel like a joke.
His eyes, reflecting the moonlight, were filled with deep, sincere thought.
“…”
As I struggled to respond to his unexpected suggestion, he continued to explain.
“You’ve taken on all the burdens that come with being a noble, but you aren’t enjoying any of the benefits. You’re staying here out of obligation—because of Adam, because of the Red Flames members. But what about your happiness?”
“…”
“…I’m saying this because I care about you. If no one says it, you’ll never stop. You’ll continue living this way, unhappily, Berg. You need to leave before that happens.”
“…Are you telling me to run away?”
“It’s not running away. I’m telling you to go and find your happiness.”
Gale whispered a tempting idea—that I could cast off all the burdens I was carrying and walk away.
His words made me imagine a life I had not dared to picture before.
A life where I left everything behind and went far away with Sien, living just the two of us.
I didn’t need the life of a noble, after all.
Living in peace, somewhere far from here, with my family—that would be enough.
‘…Ah.’
In that moment, I remembered an old dream of mine.
A dream I had long forgotten, but now, talking with Gale, it returned to me.
Back then, I had wished for a life free of tension and burden. A peaceful life.
To live quietly with the people I love.
It was a thought I’d held for so long, a dream derailed by war.
“…”
“…What do you think, Berg? I’ll take responsibility for this place. I swear on my honor, I’ll care for your people and Adam’s men. You have the chance to leave today. I’ll spread the word that you died in an unexpected confrontation if need be.”
“…”
I closed my eyes for a moment, considering his offer, before sighing and looking back at him.
“…I can’t.”
“What…?”
“There’s too much I still need to do.”
It was certainly a tempting offer.
I realized again that I was ill-suited for the life of a noble, just as Gale had said.
But there was so much left unfinished—the crops weren’t yet harvested, the plague was still spreading, and the bandits hadn’t been completely dealt with. Adam Hyung’s dream hadn’t been realized.
On top of all that, Krund had reappeared.
With the threat of war looming, running away to save myself wasn’t in my nature.
Gale spoke again.
“…Perhaps Adam’s dream was for you to live happily.”
“…”
I paused, contemplating his words, before gently placing my hand on his shoulder.
“…Thank you, truly. I appreciate your offer, but I must decline.”
Gale’s expression twisted with frustration.
“…Haa.”
He let out a sigh, exasperated.
After a long silence, he spoke again.
“…If that’s your choice, then I’ll support you to the end.”
– – – The End of The Chapter – – –
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