I’m Really a Superstar

In the afternoon.

At the Ximachang branch ¹ of Lotte Mart.

A loud explosion came from the food section.

Boom!

“Ah!”

“The fluorescent lamp exploded!”

“It’s falling, it’s falling!”

“Be careful!”

“Quick, run!”

The fluorescent lamp exploded, and a large tube cover fell down. Coincidentally, someone was standing right under it. Needless to say, it was Zhang Ye!

Zhang Ye also got quite scared. It was a good thing he was prepared for it as he hurriedly used his skillful and nimble moves to jump to the side. With a crash, the tube cover landed on the floor. If that had landed on Zhang Ye’s head instead, it might not be enough to give him a concussion, but he would still get a large amount of swelling on his head.

With that dodge, his face mask fell off.

The shopping crowd immediately recognized him.

“Zhang Ye!”

“It’s Face-smacking Zhang!”

“That gave me such a scare!”

“How dangerous!”

“The light fell down? Why did it happen to Teacher Zhang again?”

“Yeah, didn’t he just fall into a well?”

“Pfft, he’s too unlucky!”

The supermarket’s staff hurriedly came over to clean up the scene.

The general manager also rushed over upon hearing that something had happened. He was thinking that this was really bad timing for the accident to happen. Why did it have to drop on this bastard of all people? This guy was well-known throughout Asia for being unreasonable, and he was the biggest hooligan in the entire Asian entertainment industry. If this fellow were to insist on holding their Lotte Mart responsible, they would definitely have a lot of trouble on their hands. Hai, how unlucky!

But never could he imagine that Zhang Ye did not even seem to have any intention of pursuing the matter.

They only saw him wiping away his sweat before quickly making his way to the other sections of the supermarket.

The general manager was stunned. Eh, something didn’t feel right. This wasn’t Zhang Ye’s style, was it? When did this fellow become so understanding and reasonable? This wasn’t what his temperament was like.

A staff member came over. “Manager, this—”

The general manager said, “It’s alright.”

The staff member cautiously asked, “Do we have to compensate anyone?”

The general manager curled his lips. “No one was injured. What’s there to compensate?”

The staff member replied, “Understood.”

With this minor episode over, business went on as usual.

But when the general manager returned to his upstairs office, another incident happened in the supermarket!

An employee came running upstairs in a panic. “Manager! Something bad has happened!”

The general manager frowned. “What happened?”

The employee said anxiously, “The escalator malfunctioned. It suddenly moved in the opposite direction!”

The general manager was so alarmed he stood up. “What did you say? Was there anyone on the escalator?”

The employee said, “There was one person on it. When the malfunction happened, he rolled down the escalator—Zhang Ye!”

The general manager said in shock, “What? Why is it him again?”

On the second floor of the supermarket.

At this moment, Zhang Ye was dusting himself off with a lingering sense of fear. He had taken a bad tumble just now when the escalator that was going up suddenly changed direction and moved backward. Even though Zhang Ye had learned Taiji, he couldn’t balance himself and fell backwards and rolled down twice. It was a good thing that he was agile and managed to recover by quickly stabilizing himself. Otherwise, he would have rolled all the way down from the second floor to the first floor. That was terrifying to imagine!

The crowd was at a total loss for words.

Falling into a well?

Getting attacked by a falling tube cover?

Falling down the escalator?

What kind of luck was this!

Did you check the almanac before coming out today?

From far away, the general manager shouted, “Teacher Zhang, are you OK?”

Zhang Ye waved it off.

The general manager exclaimed, “What’s with this? Who is responsible for the escalators’ operation? Quickly call their manager over!” He was very scared, but it was really lucky that nothing had happened to Zhang Ye. If anything bad happened to him, that would have been terrible. Then the general manager said, “Teacher Zhang, this has to be a malfunction. It might be due to the aging equipment, but rest assured that we will check it carefully, as well as that hanging light that fell earlier. This sort of thing definitely won’t occur again. I guarantee it!”

Just as he finished speaking.

A several-meter-tall shelving unit gave way and crashed to the floor. All the goods placed on and on top of it plummeted off.

“Ah!”

“Run!”

“It’s falling!”

“Run! Fuck!”

The surrounding people scattered!

The general manager also jumped aside and dropped to the ground in a very unglamorous action.

How quick was Zhang Ye?

How agile was Zhang Ye?

This guy could clearly run faster than the others, but he just had to choose the wrong direction to run toward. There wasn’t anything wrong with the direction he made his escape in at the beginning, but then the falling goods crashed into the shelf across it, and a row of four or five shelves tumbled over in a domino effect. After making a circle, it came to where Zhang Ye was, and he had absolutely nowhere left to escape to. It ended up with him diving into a small space under the shelves that were falling, which saved him from being crushed under them. However, he was trapped underneath them and couldn’t crawl out!

“This is bad!”

“Help!”

“Zhang Ye has been crushed again!”

“Hurry up and call 119!”

The general manager was almost in tears. What was going on! What the fuck was going on here!

The emergency response team arrived very quickly.

Because it was in the same area, the firefighters were the same group of people from earlier.

When the chief firefighter saw Zhang Ye browsing his Moments under the fallen shelves, he was floored. “Teacher Zhang, why is it you again?”

Zhang Ye looked up. “Ah, yeah, it’s me.”

The firefighter wiped away his sweat. “We’re rescuing you for the third time today.”

Zhang Ye gave a dry laugh. “It’s been hard on you, but great work, my comrades.”

The firefighter sighed. Hai, it’s meaningless to say anything else. Just start the rescue!

After more than ten minutes of hard work by the firefighters, they finally managed to get the trapped personnel out.

At the same time, Lotte Mart was evacuating the customers from the premises. The falling light or even the malfunctioning escalator might not have affected anything too greatly, but for so many of the shelving units to collapse, there was clearly no way they could keep going on with their business operation. They immediately took the necessary measures and temporarily closed the store. The customers did not dare stay around either. How was this a place for shopping? They’d be risking their lives just by being in there! Luckily for them, all of the unfortunate things happened to Zhang Ye today. This scourge was very hardy and wouldn’t die that easily, but that wasn’t the case for them. They were all normal people who couldn’t smash a bulletproof car window with their bare hands.

The customers left.

The fire department left.

The supermarket staff clocked out.

But now the general manager discovered Zhang Ye still strolling around on the first floor of the supermarket near the cashiers’ checkout area. It seemed like he couldn’t find the way out.

The general manager pointed. “The exit is over there.”

Zhang Ye acknowledged, “Oh, I’m not in a rush. I’m gonna stay around for a while longer.”

When the general manager heard that, he nearly fainted!

You still want to stay around for a while longer?

Get lost!

Hurry up and get lost!

Everything was fine before you came in!

Zhang Ye spent a long time strolling aimlessly around in the supermarket.

The general manager and the security guards nearly broke down. They were all trembling in fear while staying close to Zhang Ye, afraid that something bad would happen again. It wasn’t until after they begged him to leave that he finally did so.

…

At 1 o’clock in the afternoon.

Zhang Ye came out of the Ximachang branch of Lotte Mart.

What should he do now?

Was there anywhere else he could go?

Eh, were there other branches of Lotte Mart around here?

Zhang Ye remembered that and took out his cell phone to check. Whoa, there are a total of 13 branches of Lotte Mart in Beijing? Well, alright then! It’s not like this bro is trying to rip you guys off, but that I really have nowhere else I can go to!