Chapter 775: Eight-Nation Alliance
Although a group of Americans, led by Kyle, walked from Film City to the service stop to save the dogs, but Ai Mi, the initiator, wasn’t able to come.
It was because Auntie Ren suspected Ai Mi could be lying. Compared to Auntie Ren, who would never leave work over minor injuries, Ai Mi would take any chance she could get to escape from work.
“She would torment all of us just so she could slack off. We can’t let everyone leave, we could only send two representatives to check it out first.”
“Madam Ren, two representatives not enough!” Kyle said urgently, “Three representatives aren’t enough either! I heard Chinese urban management officers are very impressive, it’s even well-known in America. If we don’t have enough people, we’ll be sent flying by the urban management officers!”
Kyle didn’t really understand and thought anything that happened in cities were managed by urban management officers.
As China rapidly urbanized its cities, the name of the urban management officers has also crossed the sea, so that the English language has added a new word “Chengguan” to their dictionary, which was simply the Chinese pinyin of the word.
Also, when Xiao Ding played GTA 4, he realized that the American game company had created a ‘Chinese Chengguan’ skin. After you use the skin, the main character would have the Chengguan word written on the back of their vest in Chinese.
The American director, who had a full head of silver hair, came over to be a peacemaker and finally decided: to let Kyle, who could no longer sit still, and most of the American crew to go to the service stop to protest against the evil dog dealers. In order to prevent Ai Mi from taking the opportunity to slack off, Ai Mi was left behind with Auntie Ren and other Chinese personnel to film some solo scenes.
“Hmph, you bitch, you’re always going against me.” Ai Mi had a lot of complaints about the fact that she was the only one of the American actors who could not leave the set.
“What did you say?” Auntie Ren crossed her arms in front of her chest and said, “Do you want me to add a 720 degrees back flip to the list of moves you have to perform?”
Ai Mi could only shut her mouth and sulk, because even when she was attached to a steel rope, she would fail a 360 back flip numerous times. If it became a 720 degrees back flip, the rest of the crew doesn’t even need to do anything other than watch her make a fool of herself every day.
“Peng TouSi, Peng TouSi.” Ai Mi called out the name of her bodyguard loudly, but he was actually less than 3 meters away from her.
“Where did Winnie go, didn’t she come today to watch? I can’t go to the service stop, so tell her to go as my representative along with the others.”
Peng TouSi replied: “Miss Winnie was quite interested at the beginning, but then she realized all the lines and communication on set was in English, so she couldn’t understand and went back to the RV to eat snacks…”
“Tell her to stop eating and to be my representative. There will be plenty of opportunity to eat snacks or whatnot later.”
Thus Winnie was called out of the RV with half a piece of almond meringue in her mouth. Since Ai Mi was allergic to almonds, the French chef never made it for Ai Mi. He was quite happy Winnie was able to eat a lot of it today.
“Huh, killing dogs in public? Right at a service stop near us?” Winnie quickly finished her snack in two bites, then brushed the crumbs off her mouth with her fingers, “Is Ye Lin’s information reliable? Even if they were killing dogs, I don’t think they would do it at a highway service stop.”
Auntie Ren knew that the Winnie Ai Mi was talking about was her daughter’s classmate, Xiong YaoYue, and Winnie already greeted Auntie Ren when they first met on set.
“Hmph, I think Ye Lin was exaggerating on purpose.” Auntie Ren squinted and said, “If something happened, I bet it was probably a stop the cars to save the dogs incident. How can normal merchants start killing dogs at a highway service stop?”
“Ah, so that’s what’s going on.” Winnie came to a realization, “Also, Auntie Ren, you’re finally speaking Chinese. I was also baffled because wouldn’t they alert the Chengguan if they started butchering dogs at a highway service stop?”
“Luk, it’s the Chengguan!” Kyle interrupted, “Yu guys were just arguing wit mi and saying it wasn’t the Chengguan! Give me a bulletproof vest and a mouthguard! We have to be prepared to bleed in order to beat the dogs out from under the beans!”
Kyle, who had a longing for the mysterious culture of the East, had been painstakingly studying Chinese and Japanese. His current fluency was incomparable to the past, but since he hired Chinese teachers from four different provinces, it caused his speech to be filled with accents from different dialects. He was a handsome foreign man, but when he opened his mouth, he would have an accent from the Northeast, Henan, Changsha… which greatly reduced his style.
Despite this, among the American actors present, the most fluent in Chinese other than Ai Mi, would have to be Kyle. Thus he became the Chinese spokesman for the American dog rescue group. Winnie also followed them, but she simply went to join in on the fun. Auntie Ren instructed Winnie to not follow the Americans into the protest, to ensure that their protest group was composed entirely of Americans, otherwise it wouldn’t be as effective.
Auntie Ren had the same thoughts as me. In recent times, there has been an unreasonable system: foreigners are treated better than citizens, so a protest group with all Americans would be more effective than a protest group with mixed members.
As Director Cao said, Film City was very close to the service stop. Over fifty blonde-haired with blue-eyes, brown-haired with blue-eyes, brown-haired with brown-eyes… basically a bunch of Americans who don’t look Chinese at all walked over while holding an assortment of protest signs.
“Dogs are a human’s best friend.”
Auntie Ren wrote the Chinese words on the sign held by the makeup artist and it looked good.
On some other signs that were written by Winnie, the words were all crooked and there were mistakes.
“Eating dogs gives you roundworms.” Winnie didn’t even write the word for roundworms correctly.
“There are roundworms in dog shit.” It seems like the word for roundworms were all written incorrectly.
“Dogs like to eat shit.” A rotund American was holding a sign he didn’t understand, but he looked quite impassioned.
“Dogs then eat the roundworms that are in the shit.” I’m not sure if it was because Winnie was just eating snacks, but she repeatedly emphasized the dangers of eating dogs. She didn’t even care if other people could stomach their food after reading her hardcore signs.
“Dogs shit a human’s best friend.” Winnie probably ran out of things to say after writing a few signs, so she copied Auntie Ren’s sign, but accidentally wrote ‘shit’ instead of ‘are’. It would have been embarrassing for her to change it in front of the Americans, so she took advantage of the fact they couldn’t really read Chinese (Kyle’s reading level was only at an elementary school student’s level), and left the signs as is.
Damn, keep in mind the signs are for Chinese people to read, leaving signs like “eating dogs gives you roundworms” is fine, but what do you mean “dog shit (are) a man’s best friend”? Which person would step on dog shit and say: “Oh, it’s an old friend.”
At least Kyle wrote his own protest sign.
In addition to his admiration towards Chinese culture, he also admired Japanese culture. Thus he found an American tattooist to tattoo the samurai word from Samurai Spirits on his arm. Of course, Kyle asked Ai Mi to help him write it and she purposely wrote the word for hemorrhoids. Now he was a young man with hemorrhoids and no one wanted to tell him the truth.
It turns out he learned how to write ‘spirit’ today, so he used the tattoo on his arm as reference along with the other signs and wrote on his own sign:
“Hold back your blade, hemorrhoid spirit unequaled.”
What kind of mumble-jumble is that? What kind of spirit is a hemorrhoid spirit?
When the foreigners walked into the service stop, everyone was shocked, not just because they looked like the Eight-Nation Alliance, but also because the protest signs they held were a bunch of nonsense. Although the Chinese characters on the protest signs indicated their intention, but there was still a lingering sense of incongruity.
“China is indeed a skary and myserious place.” Kyle pointed to a small truck with tens of bags of regular rice on it and said, “The rice truck actually has to label it as normal rice, so who knows how much abnormal rice is out there…”
“Let the dogs liva.” Kyle saw the security guards and volunteers who were confronting each other, as well as the many dog cages that were pulled out from the large truck, then he immediately led the way and shouted out.
“Let the dogs liva.” The other Americans copied Kyle’s accent.
“Chengguan, don’t act rashly.” Kyle mistook the security guards for Chengguan.
“Chengguan, don’t act rashly.”
“Put down your beans, we came to beat dogs.”
“Put down your beans, we came to beat dogs.”
“Put down your beans and be absolved of your sins.”
“Put down your beans and be absolved of your sins.”
“Dog lovers from around world unite.”
“Dog lovers from around world unite.”
Damn, the pronunciation of the last sentence was actually standard pronunciation!
Officer Ma, who just said he was going to take the class leader back to the station, had his complexion turn for the worse.
The chief had instructed him to not alert the media, but now not only was a reporter here, but it seems they also provoked a group of over 50 foreign dog lovers.
It was becoming a foreign incident and might end up on national news! If they don’t handle it properly, it might end up on CNN and BBC, so he had no time to care about anything else.
“Don’t let the foreigners clash with the security guards.” Officer Ma quickly ordered Xiao Zhang, but realized there was only one civil police officer and added: “Contact the closest security bureau and ask for support, we can’t let this get out of hand.”
I saw Officer Ma sweating bullets and couldn’t help but secretly smile.
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