I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

I didn’t return home immediately after school. I first went to Wal-mart to buy two large bags of balloons. It should last long enough for Shu Zhe to blow it and train his lung capacity.

When I was teasing the tortoises in the fresh section, I coincidentally bumped into Xiao Ding from the pet hospital. It seems he was out buying some pacific saury for his mother.

He might be silent in front of girls, but he’s extremely talkative when speaking with me. He first talked about how Dr. Zhao was careless and had his wallet stolen when he was focused on curing a dog. It was Shu Sha who noticed when she came to do volunteer work, otherwise, it would have become even more troublesome.

He then began to talk about how Shu Sha has been doing more volunteer work the past couple of days, but the animals didn’t really have a positive change of attitude towards her. It makes people want to sigh when a beautiful girl would rather stay with a bunch of sick animals after school instead of going shopping with a boyfriend.

Then finally, he talked about the topic that made him the most excited:

It turns out Dota 2 is about to have their open beta.

Towards a noob like me, who has only played Dota, Xiao Ding began talking non-stop about the classic champs of Dota 2, the amount of skill it takes to play, and the items. Even the news outlets are praising the game. Zhe Jiang is recruiting one hundred and eighty universities across the country and more than two hundred associations to participate in the Esports competition, so they could select the future national team for Dota 2.

Then at the end, he criticized LOL like usual. He said it’s a game only elementary students would play and he would cut ties with me if I played LOL.

Damn, are you done yet? Are you saying the relationship we’ve built up is not even worth more than a game? (It probably sounds weird to say it this way...)

Also, who even wants to play LOL? I’m currently playing a real-life version of a school life romance galge, so I can establish a large harem!

I staggered home in the heat after separating from Xiao Ding. Right when I was about to unlock the door, I saw a piece of broken tin foil in the door’s lock.

Isn’t this the godly trick Peng TouSi displayed last time to pick a lock with tin foil? Since the front door of our house has a lock with the worst security, an expert can easily open it with tin foil!

Since Ai Mi isn’t living here, it’s someone other than Peng TouSi.

Did my house get robbed?!

I pulled out the tin foil, opened the door, and rushed inside. I quickly scanned around at the objects inside.

The TV was still there (Of course, who would steal something so old and heavy), the washing machine was also there (that’s even heavier), my dad’s desktop computer and my second-hand laptop were also there.

More importantly, the cash, bankbooks, and credit cards that were hidden in the pockets of clothes in the closet were all still there.

But there was a lingering feeling that someone definitely came in, but what went missing?

Don’t tell me the adult goods worth over ¥200,000 was stolen? But you need a large truck to move those goods. Besides, if you were a thief, how would you even get rid of the goods, and what would you say to your wife and kids?

I briskly walked into the large room where we kept the goods and I realized the boxes have been moved.

When I was looking for the pair of silk underwear today morning, I remembered the boxes were arranged in a 品 shape, but now the top box is missing. It’s as big of a difference as the beginning of a level of Angry Birds vs the end of the level.

I stood in the midst of the scattered boxes and tried to think if any valuable merchandise was stolen. But because we didn’t have a lot of capital, we always targeted the low to mid end of the market. We don’t sell those ¥88,000 24K gold bars they sell on JD.com. (I don’t understand who would buy those)

Even if the thief stole a pack of Trojan Fire & Ice or Okamoto 001, he would only be able to distribute to his accomplices and tell them to be safe.

One of the boxes wasn’t stacked properly and came crashing down into the large screen (I kept the large screen in the room ever since Shu Zhe did the rope model photoshoots here). The screen shook and almost collapsed because of its low quality, then I suddenly had a shocking thought:

“Is the thief a super pervert who’s actually hiding behind the screen right now? Is he just waiting for an opportunity to jump out and burst my chrysanthemum?”

After a momentary false alarm, I began to analyze the situation

A certain elementary school student said: “There is always only one truth.” (TN: It’s Conan). If a thief broke into my house, but didn’t steal anything, then why did he come in?

My sight landed on a couple of old boxes that have been always kept at the bottom of the pile until today.

It was filled by a bunch of knockoffs of branded Japanese goods made by a certain Taiwanese company. I think a few years back there was a distributor who owed us product and used these to pay back his debt.

If we sold them as the actual products, we could sell it for over ¥10,000, but my dad was an honest businessman and he wrote these were counterfeit in the description and priced them at 1/4 of the authentic goods.

That’s why these didn’t sell well and became slow-moving product kept at the bottom of the pile.

Why did these goods get brought to the top of the pile? Did the pervert thief see these products on our store page and couldn’t wait, so he came here to try it personally?

I suddenly remembered that a few days ago, there was a man who asked about these products. His username was a series of numbers and I suspected he was a virgin. He repeatedly asked me:

“Do you still have any of these goods? How much is left? When can you ship it if I order a bit more?”

When I first began managing the store, he asked me ‘which condoms would easily make his girlfriend climax’, so I marketed a lot of products to him, but he didn’t buy jack shit.

That’s why I replied half-heartedly to his question:

“These products... I might have some. If you place an order, I can go check our inventory. I’ll immediately give you a refund if we don’t have any.”

I never thought there would be a follow-up, but who could have imagined the freakish case that occurred today.

I began to think a lot and my stomach began to grumble since I haven’t eaten.

I have to find the connections between the suspected virgin and my house being broken into.

I swear on my grandfather’s name...

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