I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

Ai Mi was the happiest when Auntie Ren was placed into a forced quarantine.

She was the first one to call me to share her joy.

“Hahahahaha, she deserved it. She was always so mean to me, so it’s her karma.”

Ai Mi was holding her stomach and rolling on her bed while laughing. I could imagine it even if we were speaking on the phone.

“Hahahha... she’s even closed together with the manservant’s father.” Ai Mi’s laugh became more and more evil, “A man and a woman sharing a room together, maybe Ren HongLi would be pregnant with your little brother or sister when she gets released. I want to see how she would even demonstrate the moves with a large belly.”

“Keep dreaming.” I said, “Auntie Ren would never be interested in my dad. Also, even if my dad watches too many AVs and goes wild, he wouldn’t be able to beat Auntie Ren even with three of him.”

“What do you mean by three of him?” Ai mi asked, “Do you have three fathers?”

It’s a metaphor, do you not understand metaphors? Looks like she exaggerated when she said she was at grade 10 Chinese. She knows a lot of internet slangs, but doesn’t know other common phrases.

“What I mean is Auntie Ren could fight against three people equal to my father. By the way, you don’t have to worry, Auntie Ren would never live in the same room as my father even when they’re closed in the same hotel.”

“Huh, then where would she live?”

“Um... even though my dad is in a room with two single beds, he occasionally had friends over to stay the night... but when Auntie Ren learned she couldn’t escape from the quarantine, she immediately chased my dad out of his room.”

“A turtledove takes over the nest of a magpie? No wonder she’s the violent girl’s mother, how barbaric...”

“Oh, that’s a nice use of the idiom...”

“Of course, I don’t need you to praise me. What happened next?”

“Then she split apart a couple who came to the hotel to celebrate their wedding anniversary. She was living with the woman and sent my dad to live with the man...”

“Split apart... did she force them to get a divorce? So Ren HongLi can’t stand looking at a successful marriage because her own was a failure? How awful.”

“No, she never forced them to get a divorce, she only made them live apart from each other... it’s because the couple had a fight on their anniversary and they didn’t want to live together anyway....”

“So that’s what happened, how boring...”

When my dad told me what happened, he admitted he actually hoped Auntie Ren would live in the same room as him, but his wish burst like a soap bubble.

After being sent to the other guy’s room, he couldn’t focus on editing his teaching materials and the other guy was always complaining:

“Did your wife also kick you out? I guess we’re both the same.”

“Sigh, they all say marriage is the grave of love. It was way better before we got married.”

“Huh, are you a teacher? Which university should my son attend?”

Damn, my dad really wanted to hit him, but he endured it since the other guy was a fatty over 200 pounds.

The fatty also snored loudly at night, so I guess it must have been hard on his wife too.

Basically, even though Auntie Ren and my father was stuck in the same hotel, they never shared the same room.

Every time they met, Auntie Ren was always in a bad mood as if it was my dad’s fault she was stuck in the hotel.

But it wasn’t like she couldn’t participate in the filming process at all. She commandeered my dad’s laptop to video chat with the directors in film city and also to verbally direct their actions. Even though it was a bit awkward, it was still better than being completely absent.

Auntie Ren was able to protect her job, but my dad’s work was delayed. But his old classmate was entirely reasonable and understood the bird flu was uncontrollable, so it didn’t matter if he took a bit longer to make the teaching materials.

Well, it’s not like bird flu actually affects his work even if my dad was trapped in the hotel everyday. The uncontrollable one was Auntie Ren who kicked him out of his own room and took his laptop. Auntie Ren was the main cause of why my dad couldn’t do his work.

But regardless of how hard Auntie Ren worked, filming progress slowed down and Ai Mi was able to get a bit of rest.

“Manservant, I want to go to Henderson Mall again Sunday, come with me.” Then she lowered her voice, “Remember to buy me coke. For some reason Peng TouSi always drops his vigilance around Henderson Mall, it might be because he’s gay...”

Henderson isn’t the same words as homosexual! (TN: Because Henderson and homosexual in Chinese share the same character, she thinks the two are related) Peng TouSi thinks you’re under a lot of pressure, so he gives you a chance to drink coke once a week on purpose. I guess I could go with her to Henderson tomorrow and act like an actual brother, I’ve been spending too much time recently thinking about underwear.

Ai Mi couldn’t sleep after she hung up the phone, so she actually told her subordinate to find out Auntie Ren’s room number and give her a prank call.

“Hello, is this Madam Ren HongLi? The original owner of this room is cursing you in your dreams, we are helpful spirits who wanted to notify you...”

Auntie Ren thought the call was from my dad, so she threw down the phone and rushed into his room. When she saw someone under the covers with their hand near the phone, she gave the person under the covers a beating.

When my dad came out of the washroom, he shockingly discovered the fatty had fainted. The fatty was actually still snoring and it was even louder than usual.

Xiao Qin didn’t find out about the quarantine until a bit later on. Maybe Auntie Ren only gave her a call when she was positive she had no chance of leaving the hotel.

She probably told Xiao Qin to take care of herself and don’t act stupid. She would tell a friend to take care (keep a close watch) on Xiao Qin or something along those lines.

It was clear Xiao Qin didn’t think it was serious when she spoke to me over the phone.

“It’s a pity they didn’t live in the same room...”

It’s inappropriate for a girl to say that...

“If they lived in the same room, then they could discuss our marriage all night!”

I guess you still only think about things from your perspective. Did you already decide my dad would be your father-in-law? Keep dreaming, they are both still a mature man and woman. Luckily, they didn’t live in the same room, or they might be doing something else all night long.

I managed the online store a bit before I went to sleep. ‘Uncle Fireball’ sent me a message to confirm if the sexy white rose panties would be shipped out tomorrow.

Tomorrow is Sunday, but even if Shu Zhe already wore it for a full 72 hours, there’s no need to retrieve it right away. Also, Shu Zhe promised he would take his sister shopping for a pair of running shoes.

Thus I apologized to Uncle Fireball and told him the model had some personal affairs, so I could only ship it out on Monday.

Uncle Fireball didn’t complain since he was able to have the model wear it for four days by paying only ¥300.

The other orders were all ordinary like vibrators, dildos, figurines of Maria Takagi, a real life model of Obama’s penis (It’s sad how these are considered normal in our store). I packaged all the orders and planned to ship them all out at the same time.

On Sunday morning, I took a cold shower, put on some casual clothes, and ran three laps around Dong Shan Lake.

Gramps never came, so he was probably still at home resting, which meant I still had to keep carrying the egg on me.

But it wasn’t a big deal if I was only going with Ai Mi to the mall. It’s not like I was getting into a fight, so the egg won’t break.

The schedule was the same as last time. Peng TouSi would stand at the entrance while I took Ai Mi up to the 6th floor on the elevator. (She had her eyes close for the entire ride up) She ordered a bunch of food from the food court and, of course, she didn’t forget the coke.

Ai Mi drank every last drop of coke in the bottle, then she used her tiny tongue to greedily lick the bottle opening. She looked up at me and wanted to say something.

Does she still want more? Even if she’s my sister, I can’t let her have her way all the time, since coke isn’t exactly healthy for you.

Thus I shook my head, then I lied and told her Peng TouSi had snipers on the building across from us and if she bought more than one bottle of coke...

“They would shoot the person who sold me the coke.” Ai Mi said seriously.

“What does the person who sold you the coke have anything to do with it? They would shoot the bottle in your hand, then the coke would spill all over the floor. Please don’t tell me you’re thinking about licking the floor...”

“Hmph, don’t look down on me. I’ll only lick the coke that sprayed on my body.”

What’s there to be proud of? It’s still embarrassing licking coke off your body. Also, why did you believe my lie so easily. Do you actually have a sniper in your bodyguard division, why didn’t I ever meet them?

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