I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

“Have you eaten dumplings before?”

Ai Mi had already finished more than half the bottle of cola and only a couple takoyaki remained as I placed the two plates of fresh dumplings on the desk.

“What’s so good about dumplings!” Ai Mi said with disdain, “There are a ton of dumplings in American grocery stores since it’s convenient for otakus! We actually just call dumplings jiao zi in America!”

Ai Mi still used a toothpick from the carton of takoyaki to pick up a dumpling. She blew it a bit before she finished it in three bites.

Based on her expression, it seems she likes San Xian shrimp dumplings.

“Eh? You don’t know how to use chopsticks?”

I disapproved Ai Mi poking the dumplings multiple times with chopsticks. Many of the dumplings were leaking juices after she gave up on trying to pick it up.

“Why do you think I know how to use chopsticks?” Ai Mi said as she poked dumplings in dissatisfaction, “I don’t understand the Celestial Empire. You guys created tens of thousands of dishes, yet you use two wooden sticks as utensils! Isn’t this purposely creating a problem for foreigners! Ah —— I understand now!!”

Ai Mi slapped her hands on the table with enlightenment.

” —— I understand! Your ancestors must have been really cheap!”

“Why do you say that?” I stopped my chopsticks in mid-air while holding a dumpling.

“How dumb! Think about it! You guys made so much delicious foods, yet you provide an extremely difficult to use utensil. Clearly, when foreigners arrive, you just want them to watch you eat since you know they won’t be able to use chopsticks! Even if they tried their hardest, they would only be able to get their hands on a small amount of food if they don’t know how to use chopsticks!”

Huh? It’s a pretty original theory, but you make it seem like we’re so petty!

“Uh Uh...” Ai Mi held her chin and posed like a detective, “The truth has been revealed! Confucius once said: Why would you not be happy when your friends come from afar? —— What he actually means: Confucius laughs when he sees foreigners who can’t use chopsticks to eat the food right beside them!! Damned Confucius!!”

Enough! Not only did you insult the people of the Celestial Empire, but you also insulted Confucius! Apologize! At least apologize to the delicious Celestial Empire food you are currently eating!

Ai Mi was full after finishing 1/3 of the dumplings and poking holes in all of them.

She pushed the box of takoyaki towards me and said with indifference: “I didn’t finish it, so you can have the rest!”

I took a look and only a single lonely takoyaki remained.

“There’s only one left. Looks like you enjoyed it.”

I went to pick up the toothpick that was stuck onto the takoyaki, but Ai Mi smiled at me maliciously.

“It’s not one, it’s only a half! I ate half but was too full to eat the rest...”

I picked up the takoyaki and there was indeed a small bite. It was similar to Apple’s logo.

Ai Mi was planning on pranking me by biting the takoyaki and see how I would react. But due to how my father always harped about the poverty-stricken North Koreans, it made me cherish food.

Thus I ate the remaining takoyaki without any hesitation.

Ai Mi showed shock and a bit of disgust.

“Hey! Why are you eating something that someone else bit! That’s dirty! Who would be my servant if you accidentally became sick after eating something dirty!”

I slowly swallowed the takoyaki and replied without hurrying:

“Don’t worry, it’s not like I would eat anybody’s leftovers. As ancient people once said: Who knows when you would have your next meal, you should cherish every single grain of rice as it was the result of hard work. —— It’s not good to waste food and I don’t think you’re dirty...”

“How rude! A mere manservant dares to say their owner’s saliva is dirty?” Ai Mi seemed to be offended, “Even if we weren’t in a master-servant relationship, a savage-looking person like you dares to think a beautiful girl’s saliva is dirty?! Hmph, I’ll definitely make you delighted to drink my saliva one day!”

I ignored Ai Mi’s deliberate provocation and also finished the remaining dumplings.

“You sure could eat.”

Ai Mi stared at my stomach after we left the dining area and had a look of disdain, “You have a pig’s appetite!”

Ai Mi finished the bottle of cola before we walked that far. I was worried about how I should reject her if she asks for another bottle. I never expected her to stare at the DQ across from the escalators with sparkling eyes.

“Eh? The Celestial Empire has Dairy Queen too! Manservant, go buy me a waffle cone!”

Oh, was DQ an acronym for Dairy Queen? I always thought DQ was referring to the Japanese game, Dragon Quest! No wonder they don’t sell slime ice-cream cones! I asked an employee for one when I was in elementary school! It was so embarrassing now that I think about it...

I passed a waffle cone with three scoops to Ai Mi and she received it delightfully. She has been bossing me around the whole day today without hearing a word of complaint, so she felt extremely successful.

“Hhm, I’d say the loyalty meter is at 50%....”

Ai Mi muttered at a volume where she thought I would not hear.

She asked curiously when she saw I did not have a cone:

“Do you not like this? It’s really sweet!”

It’s not like I don’t want any, but I already ate too much. I’ll probably get a stomachache if I eat a whole cone, but if it’s only one scoop...

Ai Mi raised the waffle cone as high as she could as if she read my mind. She was clearly at least 30cm shorter than me, yet she spoke in a superior tone:

“It can’t be helped. I’ll give you one scoop!”

“But...” She laughed evilly, “I’ve already licked two out of the three scoops, you can try to pick the one I didn’t lick!”

She said as she made some background beats:

“Badum badum bum bum bum...”

Why do you have to add such tense sounds? Why are you acting as if we’re playing Russian Roulette!

I didn’t even bother picking and swallowed the scoop closest to me. Ai Mi was caught off guard and even her beats stopped abruptly.

“What a big mouth.” Ai Mi commented as she licked the two remaining scoops, “Are you a hippo?”

I got a brain freeze from eating ice-cream too quickly so I couldn’t respond. It seems like I tacitly agreed I was indeed a hippo.

We unknowingly arrived at the arcade floor. We could see groups of young people playing happily through the glass windows.

Ai Mi glanced at them and said with disinterest:

“How outdated, these were phased out a long time ago in America.”

“But... let’s just play it for the sake of nostalgia!”

Ai Mi walked forward with her head held high without discussing it with me.

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