I Shall Cuck Everyone

Jake and Ophelia followed Edgar into his office. He retrieved a stack of stapled documents and, after filling in a few details, handed them over to Jake.

"That's our contract."

Jake took the papers, flipping through them carefully. They looked like ordinary documents, yet as he read through them, he realized everything he had requested was written down exactly as he wanted.

'Did he print this while I was away?' he wondered before picking up a pen and signing his name.

Edgar followed suit, signing where required. The moment he did, the documents emitted a golden light.

"The contract is sealed. Congratulations, King Jake," Edgar said, shaking his hand.

Jake's expression remained unreadable. "King Jake? Don't act like you don't know about the ridiculous treaty with the humans. I'm probably already on their watchlist."

Edgar paused for a moment before sighing. "Look… I may be influential, but I don't dictate humanity's actions. All I want is for humanity to thrive. Whatever their leaders do is not my concern. As long as innocent people aren't caught in the crossfire, I don't care what happens to the rest. Honestly, I hate those people anyway."

He stood up, offering Jake another firm handshake.

"I see… By the way, the contract glowed after you signed it. What does that mean?" Jake asked, curiosity flickering in his eyes.

Edgar smirked. "Simple. If I fail to uphold my end of the agreement, I'll swell up and explode into tiny, microscopic pieces of flesh." He paused, then added, "Also, I'll prioritize the Human-Asura hybrid project and get it delivered to you as soon as possible—along with the device for consciousness transfer. Since Misty ended up with a Valkyrie's soul due to my mistake, I'll make things right. Just make sure you keep the Valkyrie in check. I trust you."

Jake narrowed his eyes. "Wait… you know Misty?"

Edgar chuckled. "Misty, your sister? Of course. I sold the artificial birth pod to Derek and your mother. Derek was a close friend of mine, but we had a fall-out when he vowed to slaughter innocent humans just because he felt wronged. Only cowards do that." His voice darkened slightly before he shook his head. "Anyway, no need to dwell on the past. That's all I'll say about it. Good luck, Jake." Stay connected with

With that, he turned and left the room.

Jake watched him go, a small smile forming on his lips. For once, someone had referred to him as himself rather than simply the Protoss.

"We should return," Ophelia said, walking after Alphonso.

Jake and Ophelia returned to the Witches' abode and went straight to Zella's quarters.

"You're back," Zella said as she noticed them entering. She was breastfeeding Xander.

Seeing this, Jake's face paled. "H-How are you even breastfeeding her with those fangs?"

"Oh, you mean Xander's fangs?" Zella chuckled. "I was surprised too at first, but she's way smarter than she should be for her age. She's never hurt me."

"I see…" Jake nodded, then sighed. "I'm about to leave, though."

Zella stopped breastfeeding and turned her full attention to him. "Don't forget to let us know the moment you get back to Earth. Honestly… I'm a little embarrassed to visit the vampire planet after everything that happened. I want to return to earth and apologize to Misty first."

Jake raised a brow. "What happened between you and Misty?"

"N-Never mind." Zella stuttered, brushing off the question.

Not pressing her further, Jake played with Xander for a few minutes before finally leaving.

___

Back on the vampire planet, Jake headed straight to Old Man Duke's chamber. As he arrived, he noticed the usual guests were gone, making him chuckle. Normally, when Old Man Duke was done with his "fun," he'd take a long nap. Jake considered turning around but decided to step inside anyway.

Inside, he found Old Man Duke at his desk, poring over some documents.

"You look busy, old man," Jake teased, taking a seat across from him.

"Well, I caught the treasurer siphoning funds, so I had him prosecuted and hired a new one. Now, I have to cross-check the audits every week. My life just got harder," old man Duke grumbled. "I was supposed to retire by now, live my life to the fullest, visit different planets. Always wanted to try a female Balor, go on—"

"Alright, alright," Jake interrupted. "I know you're trying to guilt-trip me, but I've already told you—I'm not taking the throne. I just want to be a protector, a guardian who keeps things in check. Just be patient, Grandfather. It's only a matter of time."

"Aiiiy," Duke sighed dramatically. "This old body is tired of running a kingdom. But fine, I'll hold on for a few more years. What's a few more when I've been doing it for thousands? Anyway…" He suddenly made an O-shape with his left fingers and thrust his right index finger through it.

Jake blinked. "Huh?"

Duke rolled his eyes. "I'm asking if you did it."

"What? Me and Zamira literally had sex during our marriage ritual!" Jake said, confused.

"This boy…" Duke shook his head. "I mean, is she pregnant yet? You told me about Zagrath conceiving, but what about Zamira? What's wrong? Are you two not doing things properly?"

Jake hesitated, feeling a pang of guilt. "I—I don't know why it's taking so long. I thought she conceived at first, but that wasn't the case. I believe it'll happen soon."

'Maybe it's my fault,' Jake thought. 'Misty only got pregnant after using pills, even though we had sex plenty of times. Vampires ovulate all the time… Maybe I just need to be more… persistent.'

"Anyway," Old Man Duke's voice cut through Jake's thoughts. "Zamira came by today, and to be honest, she looked completely drained. I've never seen her like that before. I think this whole conception issue is weighing on her. After all, Zagrath—her maid, of all people, has already conceived. I don't know what she was thinking, allowing her own maid to lay with her husband… I'm just worried, that's all." He rubbed his face in frustration.

"Zagrath and Zamira's relationship is more than just master and servant—it's like two sisters," Jake said, shaking his head. "But I'll figure something out." He then shifted the conversation. "I have something important to tell you."

With that, he began revealing the details of his deal with Edgar Frost.

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